Read, Shake, Appreciate #2
Welcome to Read, Shake, Appreciate! This is your weekly round-up of words that made me feel inspired, songs that made me shake my ass, and people who I think deserve some spotlight.
This week I’m reading:
The Joy of Being Selfish, Why You Need Boundaries and How to Set Them by Michelle Elman
Calling all people who have ever self-described as “a pushover” or “someone who just can’t say no”: it’s probably time to bring in some boundaries, and this book will tell you exactly how (like, word for word). Michelle explores why we’re so scared of putting ourselves first, what we’re left with when we give too much of ourselves away to everyone else, and how to break the cycle of people pleasing. Everything is backed up with personal experience, qualified advice and phrasing templates for every possible situation where boundaries are required: professional, platonic, romantic, and familial. Michelle’s particular brand of compassionate-but-to-the-point coaching will be a wake-up call for anyone who still thinks being selfish is necessarily a bad thing.
Here’s one of my highlights:
Be who you are, and allow people the freedom to make a choice about you. Be unapologetic about who you are, let them have their judgements and then see if those opinions are ones that you would want in your life. Your job is not to change their thoughts, your job is to decipher if that is a person who respects and loves you.
This week I’m shaking to:
Monte Carlo by Remi Wolf
Honestly I’m not really sure how to describe this song but I dare you to listen to it and resist the urge to make it clap.
This week I’m appreciating:
Gina Martin (@ginamartin)
If you haven’t already heard of her, Gina Martin is the campaigner responsible for making upskirting illegal in the UK. She also more recently campaigned to change the image removal policy at Instagram, which has notoriously lead to the content of black plus size creators being overly censored. In short, she’s a badass. She has an astounding dedication to and belief in social change, and is an all-round grade A human. My only criticism of her is that I wish she would occasionally give herself a break and be a bit more selfish. Perhaps I will send her a copy of Michelle’s book.
Gina has a brilliant newsletter here on Substack for anyone interested in action-lead social justice in a welcoming learning environment:
I hope you’ve all felt a little bit of sunshine lately! I’ll be hitting your inbox Sunday with the latest Is It Just Me Or… and if you’re a paid subscriber (thank you!), I’ll see you on Wednesday for a One Minute Reminder *flamenco dancer emoji*