Oh wow Deana, thank you. Massive love to you for pulling YOURSELF out of a relapse - that's fucking hard work and you deserve to feel proud.
And thank you for letting me stick around in your online world as well :) obviously I want you to feel free to unfollow me anytime if my content is no longer helpful to you, but it's nice to make the cut! If you don't mind me asking, what made you unfollow the others? 💜
I am here, I am working on it, but I also have a long road to acceptance. Perhaps I will always be on that road.
Super good question. When you are back on your bullshit, you don’t want to see “what I eat in a day as a fat person” or “check out this fashion I bought for my curvy body” no… You want “check out this new awesome fad diet” or “these exercises will help get rid of your fupa.” I kept following you because your posts are relatable and you also don’t clog my feed. So I could keep your real without feeling bombarded. And of course, let us not forget Queen G herself.
Also, real talk? While I am hard on myself about how my body holds curve. In truth I have always appreciated the curve of the female form. Before I had kids, I was a sculptor of the curvy female form. Even when you are being real, your posts are artistically appealing and very creative. Thank goodness for that because you saved me a lot of pain down the road ❤️
I don't know if you read these but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for what you do, all the way from India. and a tight tight hug. I would love to send you a sari to wear from here!
Dayum, you just taught me how to spell dayum, yet another blessing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
And THANK YOU for the reminder re:the basics, it seems that NOTHING is too basic when it comes to self-kindness (she says, turning back to gazing at a puppy 🤷🏼♀️)
I am currently eating a blondie that I stuffed into a take-away coffee cup at an event yesterday - doesn't quite hit the same self-care level as the puppy, but pretty pleased about it! 💜
I love this newsletter, it’s like a hug in my inbox 🤗 I’ve just moved back to London after living away for three years, and me and my partner are having to do long distance for a while. And I start a new job on Monday (the reason for the move!) All big scary stuff. But I went shopping today for new clothes and didn’t hate on my body in the changing rooms, didn’t have a meltdown about my appearance, and for that I am very proud of myself. And it’s mostly thanks to your Instagram, and others like you, so thank you ❤️
Alex! How is the first week going? This is indeed the big scary stuff and would be very understandable if the main feeling was overwhelm right now! But also I hope you're feeling proud of yourself because wow, what a brave thing. And one that I hope will pay off in all senses of the word 💜
hi Megan! I’m so happy to celebrate these career opportunities with you! There is truly no one more deserving, and I hope you soak in all of the joy from these moments because you did so much to get here. This month I am generally doing pretty well, but struggling with some old insecurities about people liking me and not being perceived positively by others. I am trying to return to myself and be more gentle, instead of cognitively twisting my way out of those thoughts and suppressing them. Social life has been vibrant and fun, and I am trying to embrace all the good buzzing, joyous energy. lots of love!
Tysm lila!! What a lovely comment. And weird timing that I would read it today because last night someone asked what the most powerful lesson someone had taught me was and I said (credit to my friend Jes) "people won't like you and you will live". I don't know what the situation is or whether the people do like you (chances are they probably do), but I hope you like you. You've done a hell of a lot to get here and you deserve self-kindness for that 💜
Love all the fun things your getting to do, it's really exciting!!! The self-care bit really resonated... I've been doing lots of exciting things, but in it all I've gone back to the default of living in my head, not really checking in with myself about how I need to be looking after myself better and letting myself get run down 🫣 (also giving myself compassion around this because I know it can be harder in winter & with lots of illness flying around) but this morning I gave myself a kick up the bum, did some body scan breathing & short yoga practice for the first time in months! Going back to the basics is the best!
Yes Helen! Love to see this, especially the self-compassion 🥰 hope you get some good healing rest soon (I'm looking forward to a weekend of not very much) 💜
Just wanted to say thank you. Your openness and willingness to share your life and especially your ED recovery has helped me better understand and support a colleague and friend. We’ve bonded over our mutual love and respect of you and I wanted you to know what a positive influence you continues to be. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Also, I hope Queen Gemma has some fierce new nails being painted!
Oh thank you so much Sarah. This is beautiful to know and I'm really pleased that your friend has a support system in you as well. Sending you both big love 💜💜
MEGAN! I am SO thrilled for you for the MTV opportunity... What a score. As a Gen X'er raised on MTV... That is the height of cool!!! Mostly, it just fives me all kinds of proud mom vibes to see you happy. I have been following you for years... Never failing to be inspired by all you do. Know that by sharing your highs and lows you make us all better. Just purchased a very bold sweater that i thought you would love... Thanks for giving me permission in my own mind to have a little fun with clothes. Mostly, I am hoping you are fully over the food poisoning.... Chipotle got me once too.... Was so ill... Never again that. 💗💗
Owhhh Jill this comment properly gave me the warm fuzzies! Thank you 🥰 cannot tell you how reassuring it is to have people here who want good thing for me - you are undoing years of the internet feeling like the opposite of that so genuinely, thank you.
And yes to the fun sweater! Everyone needs a bit of dopamine dressing in their life.
Hi Megan what a lovely update to read of all the beautiful things you have been doing wow you are so so inspiring.
I am so glad to be apart of this smaller community then Instagram as it doesn't work for me but I'm glad we get to connect.
Fuck shit food poisoning is awful I hope you feel better now.
Hey things are going good with me .
Firstly I have my degree offer which is confirmed and accommodation from September confirmed. New County 30 miles from where I live but I am moving away from support but going to a familiar area and lots more support so all is good in 6month and 2 weeks around then I start my degree in photography.
I would appreciate some support on fb if anyone would like to follow my journey on my photography page as I'm doing all kinds of gentres at the moment. Nature , landscapes, portraits, events/ few weddings coming up . Most of the photography I'm an amateur photographer for experience. I would appreciate the support if anyone would like to follow my page
I've been struggling with med changes and health issues and I've been stuck beating myself up everyday. I'm with you, gotta shut that shit down and turn up the self care. ❤️❤️
Right? But some days it just feels so comfy and familiar to let the negative thought spirals take over 😖 I hope you've been able to stand up to them as much as possible (and give yourself credit for the strength that takes!) 💜
Don’t mind me, just going to take your invite to use this space for some self reflection.
Been a tough week with supporting my partner and making some big life decisions for the we.
Recognising that my gut is just usually right so why can’t my brain just let that be enough?
Hoping for continued confidence in myself and my needs. Even though expressing them feels scary and overwhelming. Trying to take the time to work them out so I can know I’ve expressed them clearly even if they are received and felt in a way I wouldn’t want.
Celebrating moving my body with a swim and a climb tonight!
Heyyy there's some beautiful wins in here Alex! Get it!! Happy to be a space for this reflection and wishing you lots of ease as you move through the big decisions 💜
Megan, every time I see a blossom tree or a daffodil I think of you! Wintering has nearly come to an end, and although the days are a bit lighter there are definitely still spanners in the works like your food poisoning or like grief rearing it’s ugly head again.
Your catwalk was EVERYTHING! What an incredible legacy to have to have walked at that. And the film interviews are sooooo exciting! You’ll have to let us know of any recommendations!
Well that's ridiculously sweet of you! I love being connected to spring in your brain 🥰 I've been stopping to look up at the early blossoms whenever I can - nearly there!!
Thank you my love, I appreciate the support big time. And I absolutely will recommend any stand-outs! Wishing you the best possible month with lots of self-kindness 💜
I love seeing you both shiny and also not shiny after food poisoning...that shit is real and it hits all of us once in awhile! I'm curious if you would ever share sort of a behind the scenes of how you end up at all of these fabulous catwalks and events? Do people find you through your online presence? Do you have an agent? I'm curious! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us, it brightens my day!
Thank you Natalie! And the opportunities come from a combination of my online presence and my brilliant agent - lots and lots of meetings and calls and pitching ideas that never materialize into anything, but plenty that do and I'm very grateful for that :) 💜
Aaaahhh that's so interesting to know, thank you for sharing! I love hearing what others are doing behind the scenes so THANK YOU for sharing. Also super grateful for you as a human being.
I really appreciate this newsletter, having such a warm and safe space on the internet is so meaningful. 🤗
100% relate to the self punishment, that shit is hard to unlearn. Haven't quite gotten there myself yet, but therapy and supportive loved ones have been really helpful in shifting my perspective. I try talking to myself in those moments as if I were talking to a loved one instead, and that exercise really has really shown me the unnecessary criticism we put on ourselves.
Last month I wrote in the comment section about my break up with my partner. I wasn't sure whether to give an update here or not...it somehow felt indulgent. But then I saw that you wrote that the comments are "always" open, and so I feel safe and invited and called to do so. Thank you.
I was feeling good post-breakup, feeling like I was processing well. And then last week, my long distance ex flew across the planet to my city without telling me, and using a plane ticket that she had promised she would not use and which I had reinbursed her for as a result. Not only was this not moral of her in any way, but it felt like such a breach of trust. I found out she was here through a friend telling me that she had seen on ig that she was in my city. Shocking. Since she's been here, she's tried to contact me many times. I've blocked her, but I'm still constantly anxious that I'm going to run into her, or that she's going to just show up on my doorstep.
I have so many emotions about it...I'm angry at myself for letting her live in my head and make me anxious, I'm upset that this breakup has devolved so much, I'm anxious about the whole situation, and I'm confused because I just feel so all over the place about it. I'm lucky to have friends and family who are here for me, so I feel safe, but I just feel emotionally all over the place.
What you said about basics could not have resonated more. I keep saying to myself, Jane, this is such a whack situation that the basics won't work. Fuck looking out the window, going for walks, and taking care of myself. But I know that, as you reminded us, these basics are actually THE things that are going to help me get through this. I also struggle from a chronic illness, so I'm super fearful of having a relapse because of all of this, and I know that it's the basics that are going to negate that happening.
Thank you for the reminders that I WILL be ok, that I CAN lean on the basics, and that aligned love IS possible.
And also, to be let down by a burrito truly is awful - my thoughts are with you haha.
Jane thank you for this update! I hope writing it out was heartening in some way because YES that really does sound like a massive breach of boundaries and YES you're allowed to have all the emotions about it. I know what a clusterfuck of different feelings can emerge from things like this and honestly well done for weathering them, however you're doing it.
So glad you have a support system there around you - this is temporary and things will settle down again soon. Keep taking the best possible care of yourself, one basic thing at a time 💜
Thank you for the update and the real. And thank you for you ED recovery post on IG.
You snapped me out of a relapse.
A few months ago I unfollowed all the body positive accounts I had followed but yours. Thank goodness for that. Thank you for you!
Oh wow Deana, thank you. Massive love to you for pulling YOURSELF out of a relapse - that's fucking hard work and you deserve to feel proud.
And thank you for letting me stick around in your online world as well :) obviously I want you to feel free to unfollow me anytime if my content is no longer helpful to you, but it's nice to make the cut! If you don't mind me asking, what made you unfollow the others? 💜
I need to catch my breath! Thank you. Truly.
I am here, I am working on it, but I also have a long road to acceptance. Perhaps I will always be on that road.
Super good question. When you are back on your bullshit, you don’t want to see “what I eat in a day as a fat person” or “check out this fashion I bought for my curvy body” no… You want “check out this new awesome fad diet” or “these exercises will help get rid of your fupa.” I kept following you because your posts are relatable and you also don’t clog my feed. So I could keep your real without feeling bombarded. And of course, let us not forget Queen G herself.
Also, real talk? While I am hard on myself about how my body holds curve. In truth I have always appreciated the curve of the female form. Before I had kids, I was a sculptor of the curvy female form. Even when you are being real, your posts are artistically appealing and very creative. Thank goodness for that because you saved me a lot of pain down the road ❤️
Hi Megan,
I don't know if you read these but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for what you do, all the way from India. and a tight tight hug. I would love to send you a sari to wear from here!
I always read these! And I appreciate you coming here to leave me this kindness avanti :) thank you! Sending you big warmth from the UK 💜
Dayum, you just taught me how to spell dayum, yet another blessing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
And THANK YOU for the reminder re:the basics, it seems that NOTHING is too basic when it comes to self-kindness (she says, turning back to gazing at a puppy 🤷🏼♀️)
I am currently eating a blondie that I stuffed into a take-away coffee cup at an event yesterday - doesn't quite hit the same self-care level as the puppy, but pretty pleased about it! 💜
I love this newsletter, it’s like a hug in my inbox 🤗 I’ve just moved back to London after living away for three years, and me and my partner are having to do long distance for a while. And I start a new job on Monday (the reason for the move!) All big scary stuff. But I went shopping today for new clothes and didn’t hate on my body in the changing rooms, didn’t have a meltdown about my appearance, and for that I am very proud of myself. And it’s mostly thanks to your Instagram, and others like you, so thank you ❤️
Alex! How is the first week going? This is indeed the big scary stuff and would be very understandable if the main feeling was overwhelm right now! But also I hope you're feeling proud of yourself because wow, what a brave thing. And one that I hope will pay off in all senses of the word 💜
hi Megan! I’m so happy to celebrate these career opportunities with you! There is truly no one more deserving, and I hope you soak in all of the joy from these moments because you did so much to get here. This month I am generally doing pretty well, but struggling with some old insecurities about people liking me and not being perceived positively by others. I am trying to return to myself and be more gentle, instead of cognitively twisting my way out of those thoughts and suppressing them. Social life has been vibrant and fun, and I am trying to embrace all the good buzzing, joyous energy. lots of love!
Tysm lila!! What a lovely comment. And weird timing that I would read it today because last night someone asked what the most powerful lesson someone had taught me was and I said (credit to my friend Jes) "people won't like you and you will live". I don't know what the situation is or whether the people do like you (chances are they probably do), but I hope you like you. You've done a hell of a lot to get here and you deserve self-kindness for that 💜
thank you, sweet megan ❤️
Love all the fun things your getting to do, it's really exciting!!! The self-care bit really resonated... I've been doing lots of exciting things, but in it all I've gone back to the default of living in my head, not really checking in with myself about how I need to be looking after myself better and letting myself get run down 🫣 (also giving myself compassion around this because I know it can be harder in winter & with lots of illness flying around) but this morning I gave myself a kick up the bum, did some body scan breathing & short yoga practice for the first time in months! Going back to the basics is the best!
Yes Helen! Love to see this, especially the self-compassion 🥰 hope you get some good healing rest soon (I'm looking forward to a weekend of not very much) 💜
Hi Megan,
Just wanted to say thank you. Your openness and willingness to share your life and especially your ED recovery has helped me better understand and support a colleague and friend. We’ve bonded over our mutual love and respect of you and I wanted you to know what a positive influence you continues to be. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Also, I hope Queen Gemma has some fierce new nails being painted!
Oh thank you so much Sarah. This is beautiful to know and I'm really pleased that your friend has a support system in you as well. Sending you both big love 💜💜
MEGAN! I am SO thrilled for you for the MTV opportunity... What a score. As a Gen X'er raised on MTV... That is the height of cool!!! Mostly, it just fives me all kinds of proud mom vibes to see you happy. I have been following you for years... Never failing to be inspired by all you do. Know that by sharing your highs and lows you make us all better. Just purchased a very bold sweater that i thought you would love... Thanks for giving me permission in my own mind to have a little fun with clothes. Mostly, I am hoping you are fully over the food poisoning.... Chipotle got me once too.... Was so ill... Never again that. 💗💗
Owhhh Jill this comment properly gave me the warm fuzzies! Thank you 🥰 cannot tell you how reassuring it is to have people here who want good thing for me - you are undoing years of the internet feeling like the opposite of that so genuinely, thank you.
And yes to the fun sweater! Everyone needs a bit of dopamine dressing in their life.
Sending big big love💜
Hi Megan what a lovely update to read of all the beautiful things you have been doing wow you are so so inspiring.
I am so glad to be apart of this smaller community then Instagram as it doesn't work for me but I'm glad we get to connect.
Fuck shit food poisoning is awful I hope you feel better now.
Hey things are going good with me .
Firstly I have my degree offer which is confirmed and accommodation from September confirmed. New County 30 miles from where I live but I am moving away from support but going to a familiar area and lots more support so all is good in 6month and 2 weeks around then I start my degree in photography.
I would appreciate some support on fb if anyone would like to follow my journey on my photography page as I'm doing all kinds of gentres at the moment. Nature , landscapes, portraits, events/ few weddings coming up . Most of the photography I'm an amateur photographer for experience. I would appreciate the support if anyone would like to follow my page
Memorable Moments by Rachael Young
Link below
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089725357666
Much love from the North Rachael.
I am fighting chronic health, mental health and wellbeing ass hope yous are too 🤗💜
Congrats Rachael! Sounds like lots of exciting times ahead and I'm so pleased for you 🥰💜
just liked your page! hope the study goes well ❤️
I've been struggling with med changes and health issues and I've been stuck beating myself up everyday. I'm with you, gotta shut that shit down and turn up the self care. ❤️❤️
Right? But some days it just feels so comfy and familiar to let the negative thought spirals take over 😖 I hope you've been able to stand up to them as much as possible (and give yourself credit for the strength that takes!) 💜
Hello lovely lady. I'm down in the dumps with a touch of winter blues and a dose of tummy bug. Your post cheered me right up.
Ohhh Claire I hope your insides have calmed down and there's been a little bit of sunshine up top as well, sending a hug 💜
Don’t mind me, just going to take your invite to use this space for some self reflection.
Been a tough week with supporting my partner and making some big life decisions for the we.
Recognising that my gut is just usually right so why can’t my brain just let that be enough?
Hoping for continued confidence in myself and my needs. Even though expressing them feels scary and overwhelming. Trying to take the time to work them out so I can know I’ve expressed them clearly even if they are received and felt in a way I wouldn’t want.
Celebrating moving my body with a swim and a climb tonight!
CELEBRATING THE WINS TOGETHER! Cheers Megan! 🧡
Heyyy there's some beautiful wins in here Alex! Get it!! Happy to be a space for this reflection and wishing you lots of ease as you move through the big decisions 💜
Megan, every time I see a blossom tree or a daffodil I think of you! Wintering has nearly come to an end, and although the days are a bit lighter there are definitely still spanners in the works like your food poisoning or like grief rearing it’s ugly head again.
Your catwalk was EVERYTHING! What an incredible legacy to have to have walked at that. And the film interviews are sooooo exciting! You’ll have to let us know of any recommendations!
Have a great month xxx
Well that's ridiculously sweet of you! I love being connected to spring in your brain 🥰 I've been stopping to look up at the early blossoms whenever I can - nearly there!!
Thank you my love, I appreciate the support big time. And I absolutely will recommend any stand-outs! Wishing you the best possible month with lots of self-kindness 💜
I love seeing you both shiny and also not shiny after food poisoning...that shit is real and it hits all of us once in awhile! I'm curious if you would ever share sort of a behind the scenes of how you end up at all of these fabulous catwalks and events? Do people find you through your online presence? Do you have an agent? I'm curious! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us, it brightens my day!
Thank you Natalie! And the opportunities come from a combination of my online presence and my brilliant agent - lots and lots of meetings and calls and pitching ideas that never materialize into anything, but plenty that do and I'm very grateful for that :) 💜
Aaaahhh that's so interesting to know, thank you for sharing! I love hearing what others are doing behind the scenes so THANK YOU for sharing. Also super grateful for you as a human being.
I really appreciate this newsletter, having such a warm and safe space on the internet is so meaningful. 🤗
100% relate to the self punishment, that shit is hard to unlearn. Haven't quite gotten there myself yet, but therapy and supportive loved ones have been really helpful in shifting my perspective. I try talking to myself in those moments as if I were talking to a loved one instead, and that exercise really has really shown me the unnecessary criticism we put on ourselves.
Looking forward to your next update and sending 💜
Thank you Samantha! Always lovely to see your name pop up 🥰 I'm working on it right there with you and I really hope we both get there 💜
Last month I wrote in the comment section about my break up with my partner. I wasn't sure whether to give an update here or not...it somehow felt indulgent. But then I saw that you wrote that the comments are "always" open, and so I feel safe and invited and called to do so. Thank you.
I was feeling good post-breakup, feeling like I was processing well. And then last week, my long distance ex flew across the planet to my city without telling me, and using a plane ticket that she had promised she would not use and which I had reinbursed her for as a result. Not only was this not moral of her in any way, but it felt like such a breach of trust. I found out she was here through a friend telling me that she had seen on ig that she was in my city. Shocking. Since she's been here, she's tried to contact me many times. I've blocked her, but I'm still constantly anxious that I'm going to run into her, or that she's going to just show up on my doorstep.
I have so many emotions about it...I'm angry at myself for letting her live in my head and make me anxious, I'm upset that this breakup has devolved so much, I'm anxious about the whole situation, and I'm confused because I just feel so all over the place about it. I'm lucky to have friends and family who are here for me, so I feel safe, but I just feel emotionally all over the place.
What you said about basics could not have resonated more. I keep saying to myself, Jane, this is such a whack situation that the basics won't work. Fuck looking out the window, going for walks, and taking care of myself. But I know that, as you reminded us, these basics are actually THE things that are going to help me get through this. I also struggle from a chronic illness, so I'm super fearful of having a relapse because of all of this, and I know that it's the basics that are going to negate that happening.
Thank you for the reminders that I WILL be ok, that I CAN lean on the basics, and that aligned love IS possible.
And also, to be let down by a burrito truly is awful - my thoughts are with you haha.
Thank you for making this space on the internet.
Jane thank you for this update! I hope writing it out was heartening in some way because YES that really does sound like a massive breach of boundaries and YES you're allowed to have all the emotions about it. I know what a clusterfuck of different feelings can emerge from things like this and honestly well done for weathering them, however you're doing it.
So glad you have a support system there around you - this is temporary and things will settle down again soon. Keep taking the best possible care of yourself, one basic thing at a time 💜