I’ve been knee-deep in the online social justice world for a long time. Body positivity – as a movement invested in showing the value of all bodies – graduates seamlessly into wider social justice movements like anti-racism, disability rights, queer liberation, socialism. It’s all about fighting for the safety, well-being and worth of individuals who’ve been devalued, baby!
This was great -- thank you! A couple of my own pet peeves:
* Increasing empathy towards some groups (yay!) but failing to cultivate, or even diminishing it, towards others (including yourself)
* Defining someone's value, love-deservingness, and basic-human-dignity-deservingness based on an absolute moral scale (while claiming to believe that these are things all humans are entitled to)
* If someone doesn't share your values, it's because they're being intentionally hateful, ignorant, stupid, lazy, malicious -- couldn't possibly be because they just haven't had access to the same information as you have, or haven't had the resources to dedicate to dismantling/rebuilding their belief systems
* Assuming that there is one right answer to social issues and that we know it now (instead of hmm, our understanding of social issues has been evolving since humanity began, so maybe we don't have all the answers and future generations will continue to build on our generation's progress)
If you grew up on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, your journey towards anti-racist ideals is going to be longer and more difficult than if your parents are professors at a liberal arts college. So, is it really "just" to compare two people's moral virtue without the context of their backgrounds? AND, is it ever actually possible to fully understand someone's background as it informs their present, anyways? AND, does telling someone they're bad/stupid/ignorant/hateful actually motivate them to reevaluate their values? Who does morality-policing benefit, anyways?
!!!!!!! Absolutely all of this Casi!! Especially your point about access to the level of education that's expected in social justice spaces being a privilege, not only in terms of formal education but in terms of amount of time/mental capacity to keep up with the ever-changing 'rules' of these spaces and never fall behind.
Megan, I saw your Instagram post about this and it blew me away, so I came right over here to subscribe and read more. I love the bravery and honesty of this and also your July 3rd post about rethinking social media. Together they really capture what I’ve been feeling.
I am not proud of saying how many SJ pages I unfollowed this summer because I just wanted some time to not be mad about stuff. I can’t be on board with any movement that wants me to be angry every damn day. I’m in therapy and I’m working on not dwelling in the negative because it’s all too easy to get sucked down into despair - and being depressed is not at all a productive way to move the world forward! So I think we need something better!
What I would LOVE is to reimagine what social justice spaces COULD look like. Maybe this group could brainstorm and lay out a new model…
BTW I am a middle aged mom with a purposefully microscopic internet presence and I get anxiety about getting publicly internet shamed for something. Me! A nobody! I don’t know how actual influencers like you do it!!! I think we internalize when we see so much shame dumped on others. I know I’m not perfect in my past or present, nor will I be in the future, and wonder what slip up will be my doom. Is this normal now? Before we had FOMO now do we have FOBPS fear of being publicly shamed? Needs a better title. FOBO? Fear of being ostracized?
I have been trying to work on myself and breaking my perfectionism, and read an article about how a certain type of perfectionism is on the rise. It affects young people especially and it’s about thinking that others demand perfection from you. Will try to find it and link. Hmm wonder why we all think that…
“There were increases across the board from 1989 to 2016. But the largest rise was in ‘socially prescribed perfectionism’, characterised by the feeling that others have high demands: 32%. “The reason that’s so problematic is that’s the dimension most strongly correlated with serious mental illness,” says Curran.” …..
“ Fear of failure is getting magnified in other ways, too. Take social media: make a mistake today and your fear that it might be broadcast, even globally, is hardly irrational. At the same time, all of those glossy feeds reinforce unrealistic standards.”
Thank you for this AJ! Saving the article rec to read later and absolutely hearing you on all of this. Thank you for sharing honestly here - you're not alone in any of it.
I do think there are people trying to reimagine and rebuild the social justice world - adrienne marie brown does a lot of work in Restorative Justice spaces (which I think as a concept exists more fully in the US than UK right now). Clementine Morrigan and their partner Jay talk a lot on the Fucking Cancelled podcast about working towards a better "left" that's grounded in socialist principles and away from carceral politics (this episode has a lot of that https://open.spotify.com/episode/3qtutbO931vTjEEMvKy0Oq?si=490f5291c2454642).
I think even being willing to have these conversations, is a start. We really are in the infancy of social media and we're all still working it out. I think there's a possibility of moving towards a better online social justice world for the people who are willing to try💜
I will check out that podcast and adrienne’s books! Thank you Megan! Also loving your “read, shake, appreciate” and now have happy new songs to play. 🎶❤️
Absolutely and totally with you .. as someone who has worked with marginalised communities for many years, you have to make that choice that you’re not infallible. I have got absolutely roasted on feminist groups for supporting transgender people ( I got called a ‘dickpandering handmaiden’ for refusing to say trans women were men. Marvellous . Even though I’ve run women’s groups for years. I got burned for asking why pussy hats were racist (who knew) too in a feminist craft group. Meh
If the people who are all online being holier than thou really supported the people they were allying, they’d realise that all people are flawed, we none of us know everything, and advocating is about doing rather than wittering on about doing. They tend come from a position of privilege which allows them to morally sit on their high ground. You though, Megan are amazing. Don’t let them get you down just continue to be you x
This is so well put! Thank you for sharing, even though/especially because it's scary and like treading on freaking eggshells. Your newsletter is literally one of the best things that lands in my inbox week in, week out so thank you Megan!! 💜
Judging from the comments, I think this resonates with a lot more people than you’d initially imagined. Including myself, btw. Especially cancel culture - there have been cases where someone was cancelled that I genuinely didn’t understand the reasoning for but I was/am just too scared to ask because I didn’t want to be next to receive public outrage… so many learning opportunities going to waste. This whole article really puts into words so well what I’ve been thinking about lately!
Incredible work. I started to see what was happening to me after listening to Trust Me the podcast. Highly recommend. I think it was the combination of COVID, isolation, intense pain and social media work. I’m sure they would love to have you on the podcast. Beautifully articulated 💚
Thank you so much for this! So insightful and wise and many things I have felt but have not had words for. The progressive world is scary with canceling anyone who does anything anywhere at any time and it’s exhausting! It’s a reason why I’ve become so much more quiet on social media because I’m afraid I’m not going to do social justice exactly right and there is little roam to grow and learn. You nailed it!!!
This was great -- thank you! A couple of my own pet peeves:
* Increasing empathy towards some groups (yay!) but failing to cultivate, or even diminishing it, towards others (including yourself)
* Defining someone's value, love-deservingness, and basic-human-dignity-deservingness based on an absolute moral scale (while claiming to believe that these are things all humans are entitled to)
* If someone doesn't share your values, it's because they're being intentionally hateful, ignorant, stupid, lazy, malicious -- couldn't possibly be because they just haven't had access to the same information as you have, or haven't had the resources to dedicate to dismantling/rebuilding their belief systems
* Assuming that there is one right answer to social issues and that we know it now (instead of hmm, our understanding of social issues has been evolving since humanity began, so maybe we don't have all the answers and future generations will continue to build on our generation's progress)
If you grew up on Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, your journey towards anti-racist ideals is going to be longer and more difficult than if your parents are professors at a liberal arts college. So, is it really "just" to compare two people's moral virtue without the context of their backgrounds? AND, is it ever actually possible to fully understand someone's background as it informs their present, anyways? AND, does telling someone they're bad/stupid/ignorant/hateful actually motivate them to reevaluate their values? Who does morality-policing benefit, anyways?
!!!!!!! Absolutely all of this Casi!! Especially your point about access to the level of education that's expected in social justice spaces being a privilege, not only in terms of formal education but in terms of amount of time/mental capacity to keep up with the ever-changing 'rules' of these spaces and never fall behind.
Very very pleased to have you here 💜
Megan, I saw your Instagram post about this and it blew me away, so I came right over here to subscribe and read more. I love the bravery and honesty of this and also your July 3rd post about rethinking social media. Together they really capture what I’ve been feeling.
I am not proud of saying how many SJ pages I unfollowed this summer because I just wanted some time to not be mad about stuff. I can’t be on board with any movement that wants me to be angry every damn day. I’m in therapy and I’m working on not dwelling in the negative because it’s all too easy to get sucked down into despair - and being depressed is not at all a productive way to move the world forward! So I think we need something better!
What I would LOVE is to reimagine what social justice spaces COULD look like. Maybe this group could brainstorm and lay out a new model…
BTW I am a middle aged mom with a purposefully microscopic internet presence and I get anxiety about getting publicly internet shamed for something. Me! A nobody! I don’t know how actual influencers like you do it!!! I think we internalize when we see so much shame dumped on others. I know I’m not perfect in my past or present, nor will I be in the future, and wonder what slip up will be my doom. Is this normal now? Before we had FOMO now do we have FOBPS fear of being publicly shamed? Needs a better title. FOBO? Fear of being ostracized?
I have been trying to work on myself and breaking my perfectionism, and read an article about how a certain type of perfectionism is on the rise. It affects young people especially and it’s about thinking that others demand perfection from you. Will try to find it and link. Hmm wonder why we all think that…
“There were increases across the board from 1989 to 2016. But the largest rise was in ‘socially prescribed perfectionism’, characterised by the feeling that others have high demands: 32%. “The reason that’s so problematic is that’s the dimension most strongly correlated with serious mental illness,” says Curran.” …..
“ Fear of failure is getting magnified in other ways, too. Take social media: make a mistake today and your fear that it might be broadcast, even globally, is hardly irrational. At the same time, all of those glossy feeds reinforce unrealistic standards.”
From The Dangerous Downside of Perfectionism, BBC
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180219-toxic-perfectionism-is-on-the-rise
Thank you for this AJ! Saving the article rec to read later and absolutely hearing you on all of this. Thank you for sharing honestly here - you're not alone in any of it.
I do think there are people trying to reimagine and rebuild the social justice world - adrienne marie brown does a lot of work in Restorative Justice spaces (which I think as a concept exists more fully in the US than UK right now). Clementine Morrigan and their partner Jay talk a lot on the Fucking Cancelled podcast about working towards a better "left" that's grounded in socialist principles and away from carceral politics (this episode has a lot of that https://open.spotify.com/episode/3qtutbO931vTjEEMvKy0Oq?si=490f5291c2454642).
I think even being willing to have these conversations, is a start. We really are in the infancy of social media and we're all still working it out. I think there's a possibility of moving towards a better online social justice world for the people who are willing to try💜
I will check out that podcast and adrienne’s books! Thank you Megan! Also loving your “read, shake, appreciate” and now have happy new songs to play. 🎶❤️
Absolutely and totally with you .. as someone who has worked with marginalised communities for many years, you have to make that choice that you’re not infallible. I have got absolutely roasted on feminist groups for supporting transgender people ( I got called a ‘dickpandering handmaiden’ for refusing to say trans women were men. Marvellous . Even though I’ve run women’s groups for years. I got burned for asking why pussy hats were racist (who knew) too in a feminist craft group. Meh
If the people who are all online being holier than thou really supported the people they were allying, they’d realise that all people are flawed, we none of us know everything, and advocating is about doing rather than wittering on about doing. They tend come from a position of privilege which allows them to morally sit on their high ground. You though, Megan are amazing. Don’t let them get you down just continue to be you x
This is so well put! Thank you for sharing, even though/especially because it's scary and like treading on freaking eggshells. Your newsletter is literally one of the best things that lands in my inbox week in, week out so thank you Megan!! 💜
Thank you Beth!! Appreciate you being part of a supportive ground that isn't made of eggshells! 💜
Judging from the comments, I think this resonates with a lot more people than you’d initially imagined. Including myself, btw. Especially cancel culture - there have been cases where someone was cancelled that I genuinely didn’t understand the reasoning for but I was/am just too scared to ask because I didn’t want to be next to receive public outrage… so many learning opportunities going to waste. This whole article really puts into words so well what I’ve been thinking about lately!
This is one of the beautiful articles I’ve read in this subject, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! 🙌
Incredible work. I started to see what was happening to me after listening to Trust Me the podcast. Highly recommend. I think it was the combination of COVID, isolation, intense pain and social media work. I’m sure they would love to have you on the podcast. Beautifully articulated 💚
This read was so validating. I’ve experienced this culture online and offline. I’ve struggled to find my voice to speak up out of fear. Thank you!
This is fantastically put. Thank you thank you!
This is amazing and needed to be said.
Bless you. Thanks for this
💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you so much for this! So insightful and wise and many things I have felt but have not had words for. The progressive world is scary with canceling anyone who does anything anywhere at any time and it’s exhausting! It’s a reason why I’ve become so much more quiet on social media because I’m afraid I’m not going to do social justice exactly right and there is little roam to grow and learn. You nailed it!!!
Thank you thank you thank you, 1000x thank you for unpacking this. ❤️
This is a wonderful analysis and shows the nuance perfectly. Thankyou for giving words to complex issues!