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Maddy C's avatar

I gotta say I also really dislike comments about my body size, and I'm very deliberate about not commenting on anyone else's, even in ways that seem innocuous like height. But kind of for the opposite reason-- because despite all the work and unlearning I've been doing, I still get something like a hit of dopamine when someone tells me I look small/whatever to them. And I can feel all the old scripts clicking in: am I smaller than I thought? How can I preserve this smallness? Etc. One big reason I don't want anyone to compliment my body shape/size is because it positions me to start subconsciously worrying that I'll lose whatever quality they've seen in my body.

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Anna's avatar

100% agree. I do also hate body- and especially weight-related comments. 5 years ago I had landed a really great job, but at the same time put on weight, cause I was actually starting to recover from my ED. Everything that was commented was me looking "more female" and "healthier". Which was not helpful at all in terms of my recovery, but it also disgusted me so much that people would rather comment on my body than complement me for an amazing new role I'd landed. I think commenting, especially womens' bodies and weight all the time, is a way of putting us women down and reducing us to our outer shell, rather than looking at our abilities and our personalities. My standard phrase has become "I do not accept any comments on my weight and on my body. Respect that!" And then I'd direct the conversation to something else. Maybe that works for others, too. Don't allow people to make you feel shit... Sending lots of love to everyone, stay strong in this holiday season and focus on how amazing you are ❤️

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