This week I woke up to a familiar feeling: somewhere in the world, whilst I was sound asleep, the world’s most famous family had done something fucked up… again.
My daily scroll (usually blissfully bubbled away from all forms of diet culture) was suddenly filled with the sparkling rhinestones and unmistakable curves of Kim at the Met Gala.
Opinions about her dress, critiques of her dramatic weight loss, and concern about the message she continues to send to young audiences echoed off each other.
Without really thinking about it, I tapped on her Instagram handle and began to scroll through the endless subtly edited bikini pictures and faux-candid vacation snaps. It took me a few minutes to realise that I’d unconsciously starting sucking in my stomach and wondering how my body would look in the same poses as her.
The Kardashians – and Kim especially – used to be my ultimate body goals. I still have old diaries somewhere filled with calorie counts and cut-out pictures of Kim lying casually on the back of her ex-boyfriend while he does press-ups without breaking a sweat (light work when your girlfriend is a perfectly proportioned goddess).
When I entered the world of body positivity, the Kardashians obviously had to be the first to go. I unfollowed all of them. I stopped watching the shows. I stopped reading the articles. I called them out when they did ridiculous diet ads and railed against the unrealistic beauty standards their empire is built on.
I wasn’t necessarily keeping up with them, but I was still talking about them whenever something extra questionable crossed my radar.
These days, when another story comes out about the harmful behaviours they’ve been perpetuating, my instinct is still to jump on it. To get angry. To make noise. People should know that this isn’t okay!! How are we still promoting crash dieting to fit into a dress in 2022 DAMNIT.
But lately it’s dawned on me more and more, that shouting might not be the most helpful thing at all. In fact, that might be the exact thing they want us to do.
This is a family who rose to fame for one reason only: they continually give us something to talk about.
Their entire cultural relevance relies on us still wanting to keep up with them, and having an opinion on whatever they’re doing. I genuinely believe that they don’t care what that opinion is – as long as it’s being said out loud.
When one of the family goes out in box braids or wears enough bronzer to tan a rhino, they know that the internet will explode with conversation about whether they’re blackfishing. They don’t care if it’s not a good look.
When they release another product line with a provocative name and bizarrely bad photoshopping, they know it’s going to be noticed and talked about. They don’t care if it’s mainly negative.
When they promote another diet product, they know that a growing number of people are shouting back about how problematic it is. In fact, they rely on it.
As long as their names are in our mouths, they’re still relevant baby. And that’s money.
Whether it’s a call out or a congratulatory comment, it’s all clicks.
And I keep asking myself: are we ever going to combat the negative impact they’ve had on so many millions of people’s self-esteem, by talking about them more? Should we just… stop?
Or do we need to accept that they’re always going to be talked about, so the least we can do is add some balance to the conversation, point out what’s problematic, offer a different perspective?
I honestly don’t know the answer (and the irony of writing an entire newsletter about whether we need to stop talking about them isn’t lost on me).
All I know is these days whenever that Kardashian Klaxon rings and the internet fills up with whatever latest damaging shit they’ve done, I hesitate. I question what truly is the most helpful thing: to give them the oxygen their empire needs to stay alive? Or to try and put the fire out by not giving them airtime at all?
(Sidenote: I also can’t pretend that the allure of getting lots and lots of likes by joining the angry online bandwagon isn’t tempting, and I imagine that plays a part for a lot of other people who jump on it too.)
One day I hope we live in a world where the women we talk about most are the ones who are genuinely striving to do good, and hold the attention of their audiences responsibly. Until then, I guess I’ll be over here bracing myself for the next round of Keeping Up With The Toxicity.
I’d genuinely like to know what you think the best way to combat their effect is. Should we still be talking about whatever fuckery the Kardashians get up to, even though that’s probably what they want us to do? Or is it better to ignore it completely? Sound off in the comments!
I don’t know, I feel like giving so much attention is ofc going to work the opposite direction, BUT it’s also important to give more vulnerable people (people with ED’s or younger people, categories in which I both fall in to) the message that what they’re doing is extremely unrealistic and sometimes even unhealthy. I mean, for me it definitely helped to see some creators call them out and to get that wake-upcall.
So I feel like if we talk about those issues that we shouldn’t address the Kardashians in particular, because otherwise we would give them more attention then they already have. But more so talking about those things in general, you know?
I never understood people's obsession with them. I never kept up, because they don't have anything useful to contribute to my life.