I've missed u! Here's some ✨MJC-mail!✨
Mermaids
Hello earth angels 😇 a pleasure to see you here again! I’m already hoping that you’ve had a beautiful month and have lots to share with us in the comments 💜 but first things first, WELCOME!
This is my monthly catch-up email with photos, thoughts & voicenotes that hopefully feel super cosy, reassuring and warm. A blanket-on-the-sofa kind of email.
I’ve just had a few days of complete brain burnout - lots of crying, no energy for anything, feeling pretty low and down on the world. But this morning I got myself up, got ready to host an empowerment workshop, connected with some lovely humans and proved to myself that I CAN bring goodness and light even after down days. I’m getting back up! And I’m really grateful you’re here with me to share some sunshine 🌞
So, let’s talk about May…
As I mentioned in the last newsletter, the MAJOR event of the month was…
Taking Gemma to Butlins!!
For those who don’t know, Butlins is a popular chain of holiday parks in the UK, usually visited by families looking for a cheap ‘n’ cheerful break. But it turns out, they also run absolutely chaotic adults only weekends where they hire popstars from the 2000s to perform and everyone (except us) is drunk 24/7.
It was… an experience.
Some people were lovely. Some people were arseholes. Some of the food was edible. Some of it wasn’t. Some days were sunny. Some days it rained. It was a real mixed bag! But the most important thing is that Gem got to go somewhere she wanted to go and live her best life - which I will always believe she deserves to do, and it’s a privilege to help make it happen. 👑
And in my other life as Hannah Montana, it was a heavily mermaid-filled month!
I got to put on my MTV host hat and interview some of the cast of the new Little Mermaid film - I even gave Melissa McCarthy a gift 🥺 it’s my favourite movie junket so far (you can watch it here!) and the underwater fun didn’t stop there…
I got to pull this lewk at the London premiere! With freshly dyed pink pits! (Char’s idea). I felt so damn glam and unlike lots of other times, I allowed myself to believe that I was exactly where I should be. It was a merfantastic day. 🥰🧜🏽♀️
I’ve had some wonderful friend time this month, including watching Joeley perform in a K-pop dance show and going to another bestie’s Barbie themed birthday celebrations!
And on the work side of things…
She’s been doing bits! Honestly, it hasn’t been as ‘productive’ of a month as I’d have liked, but the things that have happened have been amazing, and I’m deciding that they are enough (more on that in a bit…).
I’ve hosted a few different workshops this month, including some on ED recovery, and I’m gonna take stock here and recognise that I should be proud of doing them. Some were harder than others, but all are the type of work I’ve been saying that I want to do more of, so yeah, that’s pretty badass I think. 🥳
In slightly more gay news…
It was Birmingham Pride over the weekend! It’s one of the UK’s biggest Pride celebrations, and Char helps make it happen every year (she’s a Director 👀). I cheered her on while she was hosting the mainstage, danced the night away and got to meet a puppy on the second day. Queer joy everywhere!
I feel like there’s always a bae update in these newsletters now, so here she is! We’ve been on our usual schedule of events mixed with days where we do nothing except watch Queer Ultimatum on Netflix. She went away for a few days this month and I met her at the airport with flowers. We are very in love and adorable.
And that was my May! Hbu? Any highlights or lowlights to share? Any big news? Fill us in (if you feel like it!):
Is it just me or... Are you the one who gets to decide that it's enough?
It's weird, this self-determining adult thing. Some days I feel like I'm still waiting for an adult to come along and tell me that I've done a good job. I've done the right thing. I've done enough.
Sometimes I look in other places for confirmation that I'm doing it right: comparison to other people, strangers' opinions, whether I'm completely exhausted and couldn't possibly have fit another thing into the day.
But none of those are sustainable ways of knowing when you've done enough. And nobody else with more authority than me is going to come along and tell me. Turns out, I'm the one who gets to decide.
I can give myself the gift of deciding that I've done enough, whether I've blazed through the day or barely dragged myself to the end. I can give myself the grace of deciding that I did my best, whatever the outcome. I can give myself permission to stop, to rest, to feel proud.
I'm the one I've been waiting for to come along and tell me that I've done a good job. And how beautiful it is that we each get to decide that it's always been enough. 💜
Transcript: Hello, gorgeous people. Today's one minute reminder is that your body is not a scapegoat. I think a lot of the time when we get stressed out and overwhelmed and everything feels like it's wrong, we turn to what we believe we can control. And a lot of the time that comes back onto our body. We tell ourselves that our body is not good enough and we should spend our energy trying to change that. And maybe that will make things feel like they're in line and things are okay. And often we tell ourselves, “Well, if my body was different, this situation would be different”. Which, you know, fair enough if you got rejected from a bodybuilding competition, maybe that's the case. But nine times out of 10 our body is not actually the problem. It's just taking the brunt of our anxiety and our overwhelm.
And our body carries us every single day. All it wants is the best for us: to let us live our lives as well as we can on. And it's not fair. It's not fair that it gets the brunt, so next time you are overwhelmed and you're telling yourself that your body is the problem… Take a little breath, and ask yourself: Is your body really the problem or is your body a convenient scapegoat? And does it deserve better? That's all for today. Bye!
That’s it for this month my loves, thank you SO much for spending this portion of your day with me 💜 thank you for signing up to this newsletter and coming with me through the ups and downs and everywhere else. You are the best internet pals a girl could ask for, truly.
And extra grateful thank yous to the very generous souls who send me support each month in the form of a $5 subscription. You help me be able to do things like run recovery workshops for free and be slightly less stressed about my extortionate London rent, so THANK YOU!
Take the best best care of your wonderful selves, and I’ll see you again next month! (Or in the comments very soon!) 💜
Today marks my first pride as my true self. This past year has been a whirlwind in so many ways, but one of the main catalysts is that, I found myself. For the first time in my life. Happy pride. I am trans ❤️🏳️⚧️
It's been a big month for me too— I've just finished my finals! I've had a challenging few years health-wise and a lot of the time I thought I'd never finish my degree. I feel a bit dazed! And thrilled that the sun is out in time to celebrate 💛
(Edited to add) But also, if I'm honest, I feel overwhelmed and uncertain. I've been in academia + cloistered by illness for long enough that I feel nervous about re-entering the world. And trying to carve out a life. The world feels enormous.