Hey loves! 🌞 recently I wrote a whole list of what I *actually* need to take care of myself (more daylight, less comparison, more connection, less perfectionism), and it made me want to ask you all what self care *actually* looks like for you? What do you need to feel your most well? Is it bubble baths & meditation or is it turning your phone off & taking your meds? Or something totally different? The comment section is open to everyone 🧡
(p.s. if you're like lol I have no idea, I would definitely recommend making your own list - thinking about the times you felt the brightest & noticing what you were doing more of, or times that felt the darkest & what was lacking. I'm trying to go back to my list to catch myself before things get dark again 🌻)
I think there are two lists: one list of things that make me feel good and help sustain me and the other list are things that help me regulate when I'm feeling terrible.
Things that make me feel good and sustain me:
Being outside (walking, chilling in the hammock), reading fiction, rock climbing, lifting weights, casual conversations with friends, ice cream.
Going to bed on time/getting enough sleep - even when it makes me the not-cool person who leaves early or can't make late plans - is HUGE. My mental state erodes SO QUICKLY when I'm sleep-deprived, so making sure I'm well rested is my #1 self-care item.
- Dogs. They just make me happy and get me out of the house.
- Singing. Helps me be in tune (pun intended) with my breathing and takes my mind off things.
- Writing. Dark poems are one of my best outlets.
- Quiet time. No cell phone, no music, no tasks, just myself and maybe a cup of tea.
- Cleaning. Sounds horrible, but having a clean space just makes my head so much clearer and reduces anxiety.
- Exercise. Now this can be a tricky one as someone who has ~mostly~ recovered from EDs and exercise addiction, but really pushing myself and getting my heart pumping for the right reasons is great.
- Love. From partners, friends, animals, family and from myself.
Now go be kind to yourself in the way that works best for you ♡
Taking my meds is a big one. Showering regularly (really any bathing at all counts but I don't have a big enough bathtub for baths ATM). Candles or a fireplace - bc for some reason looking at (controlled safe) fire makes my brain feel good.
This is such a good question! Genuinely I think it's allowing myself to read a novel (with my phone in another room) while not feeling guilty for not "achieving" something. I forget that a) I don't have to be achieving something/productive all the time and b) allowing myself time to read/do something I enjoy *is* an achievement! :)
My self care involves ironing my clothes and sorting and putting away the laundry. It sounds like such a petty thing but having my clothes tidy and clean makes me feel better about myself when i wear them. Good food and walks outside help a lot also
Last Friday, I had a really great day where I spent the day with my partner buying garden stuff and new plants and bird feeders and then he showed me how to change my rear brake pads and holy shit it was so empowering. I'm so excited for my garden this year and I felt really great about learning something completely new to me that saved me like $150! Self-care to me includes being "productive" like cleaning my space or preparing for my hobbies because I get to check a box and not think about it for a while. Just like cleansing the body, it feels like cleansing my brain and an accomplishment at the same time!
Setting boundaries! Firstly, it's important for me to have free time to do things that I want to do (or things that I have to do, like eating and sleeping), but secondly, the act of saying "no, I don't have the time or energy or inclination to do that" without apology is so powerful for me. I don't do it nearly enough, but I always feel particularly badass for a couple days afterwards.
At a slightly easier level, taking 10 minutes to clean up my desk and short meditations (I've been using Headspace a bit) are also really helpful.
My self care includes outdoor time. Being outside is so beneficial for me and just makes me feel good! Specifically when it’s warm out and the sun is shining. Something about the bright sunshine and warmth on my skin does wonders for me. Getting that natural vitamin D is so good for the soul! Also spending time in nature like at a park in the woods. Seeing the trees, flower, and wildlife. It just makes me happy and is a great “reset”! Also just enjoying it. Not snapping photos and just living in the moment for me. This is one of the best sources of self care for me.
Making things is really necessary to me. When I’m at my worst I can’t make things and it becomes a negative feedback. As soon as I’m capable of making something - even if my fatigue and pain mean I’m laying down with my eyes closed, I feel the benefit. Knitting is the easiest, but I also enjoy embroidery, cross stitch and sewing.
Knitting a blanket when I didn't know how to knit 2 weeks ago, starting an artistic project and really getting into it, being held by a loved one (maybe that's outside of self care but it gives me a warm feel good energy) ☺️
Making sure I can recognize when it starts to get bad and jumping the gun on taking care of myself. I get easily overstimulated by lights/noises so when I notice too much is going on before it starts to affect me I make sure to turn everything off and let my partner know what’s going on so I can avoid the fallout
Definitely bubble baths! And face/hair masks. Going for a walk, getting a massage, treating myself to a pink drink at Starbucks or my favorite Thai vegan 💖
My most recent self care was playing Sims ALL weekend and going back to work rested and refreshed. Normally I feel guilty for doing something like that but this time I didn’t and it made aaaaall the difference
I will pick a day (or several hours) when I don't /have/ to do anything. It is just obligation-free time when there is nothing that I "should" be doing. After indulging in some guilt-free scrolling on my phone or TV binging I'll usually find myself doing something that feels productive and improves well-being like preparing delicious food or finally getting around to a load of laundry. I'm incredibly grateful to my therapist for turning me on to this idea (and incredibly grateful to even have access to a therapist in the first place).
For me it's small (and not so small) things - walk alone with some nice audiobook in my ears, sitting in the coffeeshop enjoying coffee and something delicious, yoga practice, cooking and baking (when I have time and don't have to hurry or don't have my babies screaming next to me), sex, and the most important selfcare for me is therapy.
Because I’m the opposite of an “achieving” type, a new thing I’m realizing is that it’s really important for me to set the timer for a twenty minute block and get some cleaning or other projects around the house done when I’m in a major funk. My brain is a very busy place so another important aspect of self care is shutting down the endless stream of thought for a bit. One of the most reliable ways for me to do that is to do a puzzle or color while listening to an audiobook or podcast. Other deep self care is getting time in nature, taking photographs, and making things. I love all the things like baths and meditation and yummy food, but I’m finding that when I really need to pull myself out of a bad place, it’s often more practical and simple things that allow me to do that work.
Keeping a diary to help me put the difficult bits of the day into perspective and remember the happy bits. Keeping the space around me tidy. Drinking lots of water. Prayer as well, although I don't do as much of that as I'd like. And yoga!
Eating regularly, drinking a lot of water, and getting enough sleep is my self care baseline.
If I need more tenderness I add wrapping in a blanket or sitting in the sun with a favorite show or book, a long walk among trees, or sitting and watching the sea.
- eating good proper big meals when my mind feels extra wobbly
- going on walks every day, taking photos of little details (like flowers) when I feel overwhelmed (zooming in helps with the dread?)
- listening to my playlist of instrumental music that is so pleasant it does not evoke any emotion except perhaps a little delight, it slows my heart down I’ve noticed.
- naps
- having a real nice quality blanket (a cotton bed spread) on the couch to crawl under whenever desired.
- heating cream on my shoulder blade area after a bath
I love this topic! Self-care for me is doing something just for fun (not to be productive) Sometimes it’s paddle boarding or getting a pedicure or trying something new. My usual self-care routine is taking my meds, having a book to read, eating regularly, squishing my dog, gentle yoga, and talking with friends or partner about my mental health. ❤️
Going for a walk in the fresh air. Listening to Harry Potter audio book. Watching a feel good film I have seen lots of times. Cleaning the house. Making soup. Washing my hair 😊
My self care: dog walking, being outside, animal cuddling of any kind, feeding wildlife, my morning and night time routines, weighted eye pillow for sleep, watching buffy the vampire slayer or Harry Potter, eating comfort foods, not being reachable on my phone, drinking cider, being creative such as decoupage.
For me it is having nutritous food that makes me feel like I'm being gentle to my body, listening to soft jazz or bossa nova, practising yoga at my own pace, talking walks outside or taking care of my plants - being connected to nature really helps me feel grounded ♥
New to my list is taking a break when things get stressful. I have to learn a lot for exams and whenever I feel very overwhelmed by the amount I have to learn, I give my brain a break by having a cup of tea or coffee, sit on the terrace, go for a wee walk, cook a nice meal, just lie in bed for a bit, watch a TV series, read a novel, call my sister... somehow this works wonders for me.
Very good idea and already part of self-care ❤️ what I usually try first is to meditate but lying down to give rest to my body. Love the body scans from Plum Village, and yoga nidra (sessions can be found on various apps or channels). I check in with my body more often now, to be more in tune with what she's telling me (I suffer from chronic back pain). Helps me to get out of my head, too ! And when I can, I go outside for a walk and smell every flower or look for color and texture variety in nature. Bad weather? Drawing, writing, playing with my two cats, putting on music or preparing a tiny bath for my feet... A foot spa at home ..
Lying on my back at every opportunity watching the sky… wrapped up cosy on chilly days, marvelling at the blue on sunny days
Promising to never pass a rose without sniffing it
Noticing the smell of freshly-mown grass
Talking out loud to myself… ‘what do you need, darling?’ ‘How you doing?’ And respectfully listening to the answers
My hot water bottle, even if the weather isn’t cold
Sending love to dear friends
Keeping an eye on when I’m spending more time in other people’s lives than my own… checking that the news, social media, box set, podcast or playlist isn’t stopping me checking in with myself
Get outside. Whatever the weather. Talk to people, strangers for mini conversations, friends for deeper ones. Don’t text the shitty friends or exes that will not respond in a validating way. Cuddle my son. Fuzz my silly cat. Eat foods that feel good for my soul and breathe.
There are things I do to make me happy but the real self care which is tough worm but makes me feel a lot better is showers, dressing well and doing skincare so I look and feel put together, it helps me so much mentally. And exercise is a big one I'm trying to work on
I love taking my dog on long walks with music or podcasts on. It feels lovely to be outside and to be bringing my dog joy too from exercise. I also really like cleaning when I'm stressed, things feel less chaotic and more achievable with a clean apartment.
I try to look up…clouds make me happy and taking pictures of the sky reminds me very few things last forever. Also, music…I always listen to music ❤️❤️
True self care for me includes getting 8 hours of sleep (slash just making myself go to bed), drinking enough water, eating regularly (bonus if it's yummy and helps me get enough protein), exercising (whether that's a walk, yoga or a hard spin class), going to therapy, journalling, making and going to appointments/getting my adulting stuff done and reaching out to or spending time with friends. Putting the phone down and staying off social media. Setting and holding boundaries. Also cat and pony cuddles!
The feel good self care stuff includes massages, baths, watching favourite movies or playing video games, eating favourite foods, treating myself, travel/mini adventures. It's nice but not essential self care.
Some of these only work if I have the energy for it, but all are helpful: Forcing myself to drink a bunch of water even if I don’t feel particularly thirsty. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables. Gentle stretching to work out the knots in my muscles. Creating something. Nature walks. Putting on perfume because it makes me feel fancy and I take more deep breaths. Also, can 100% confirm that short meditations have made me feel calmer and more focused this week despite a demanding work schedule.
I think there are two lists: one list of things that make me feel good and help sustain me and the other list are things that help me regulate when I'm feeling terrible.
Things that make me feel good and sustain me:
Being outside (walking, chilling in the hammock), reading fiction, rock climbing, lifting weights, casual conversations with friends, ice cream.
Things that help me regulate:
Crossword puzzles, sudoku, vertex, reading fiction, going outside, ice cream.
Going to bed on time/getting enough sleep - even when it makes me the not-cool person who leaves early or can't make late plans - is HUGE. My mental state erodes SO QUICKLY when I'm sleep-deprived, so making sure I'm well rested is my #1 self-care item.
Here's my little list:
- Dogs. They just make me happy and get me out of the house.
- Singing. Helps me be in tune (pun intended) with my breathing and takes my mind off things.
- Writing. Dark poems are one of my best outlets.
- Quiet time. No cell phone, no music, no tasks, just myself and maybe a cup of tea.
- Cleaning. Sounds horrible, but having a clean space just makes my head so much clearer and reduces anxiety.
- Exercise. Now this can be a tricky one as someone who has ~mostly~ recovered from EDs and exercise addiction, but really pushing myself and getting my heart pumping for the right reasons is great.
- Love. From partners, friends, animals, family and from myself.
Now go be kind to yourself in the way that works best for you ♡
Taking my meds is a big one. Showering regularly (really any bathing at all counts but I don't have a big enough bathtub for baths ATM). Candles or a fireplace - bc for some reason looking at (controlled safe) fire makes my brain feel good.
This is such a good question! Genuinely I think it's allowing myself to read a novel (with my phone in another room) while not feeling guilty for not "achieving" something. I forget that a) I don't have to be achieving something/productive all the time and b) allowing myself time to read/do something I enjoy *is* an achievement! :)
My self care involves ironing my clothes and sorting and putting away the laundry. It sounds like such a petty thing but having my clothes tidy and clean makes me feel better about myself when i wear them. Good food and walks outside help a lot also
Last Friday, I had a really great day where I spent the day with my partner buying garden stuff and new plants and bird feeders and then he showed me how to change my rear brake pads and holy shit it was so empowering. I'm so excited for my garden this year and I felt really great about learning something completely new to me that saved me like $150! Self-care to me includes being "productive" like cleaning my space or preparing for my hobbies because I get to check a box and not think about it for a while. Just like cleansing the body, it feels like cleansing my brain and an accomplishment at the same time!
Setting boundaries! Firstly, it's important for me to have free time to do things that I want to do (or things that I have to do, like eating and sleeping), but secondly, the act of saying "no, I don't have the time or energy or inclination to do that" without apology is so powerful for me. I don't do it nearly enough, but I always feel particularly badass for a couple days afterwards.
At a slightly easier level, taking 10 minutes to clean up my desk and short meditations (I've been using Headspace a bit) are also really helpful.
My self care includes outdoor time. Being outside is so beneficial for me and just makes me feel good! Specifically when it’s warm out and the sun is shining. Something about the bright sunshine and warmth on my skin does wonders for me. Getting that natural vitamin D is so good for the soul! Also spending time in nature like at a park in the woods. Seeing the trees, flower, and wildlife. It just makes me happy and is a great “reset”! Also just enjoying it. Not snapping photos and just living in the moment for me. This is one of the best sources of self care for me.
Making things is really necessary to me. When I’m at my worst I can’t make things and it becomes a negative feedback. As soon as I’m capable of making something - even if my fatigue and pain mean I’m laying down with my eyes closed, I feel the benefit. Knitting is the easiest, but I also enjoy embroidery, cross stitch and sewing.
Knitting a blanket when I didn't know how to knit 2 weeks ago, starting an artistic project and really getting into it, being held by a loved one (maybe that's outside of self care but it gives me a warm feel good energy) ☺️
Making sure I can recognize when it starts to get bad and jumping the gun on taking care of myself. I get easily overstimulated by lights/noises so when I notice too much is going on before it starts to affect me I make sure to turn everything off and let my partner know what’s going on so I can avoid the fallout
Definitely bubble baths! And face/hair masks. Going for a walk, getting a massage, treating myself to a pink drink at Starbucks or my favorite Thai vegan 💖
My most recent self care was playing Sims ALL weekend and going back to work rested and refreshed. Normally I feel guilty for doing something like that but this time I didn’t and it made aaaaall the difference
I will pick a day (or several hours) when I don't /have/ to do anything. It is just obligation-free time when there is nothing that I "should" be doing. After indulging in some guilt-free scrolling on my phone or TV binging I'll usually find myself doing something that feels productive and improves well-being like preparing delicious food or finally getting around to a load of laundry. I'm incredibly grateful to my therapist for turning me on to this idea (and incredibly grateful to even have access to a therapist in the first place).
For me it's small (and not so small) things - walk alone with some nice audiobook in my ears, sitting in the coffeeshop enjoying coffee and something delicious, yoga practice, cooking and baking (when I have time and don't have to hurry or don't have my babies screaming next to me), sex, and the most important selfcare for me is therapy.
Because I’m the opposite of an “achieving” type, a new thing I’m realizing is that it’s really important for me to set the timer for a twenty minute block and get some cleaning or other projects around the house done when I’m in a major funk. My brain is a very busy place so another important aspect of self care is shutting down the endless stream of thought for a bit. One of the most reliable ways for me to do that is to do a puzzle or color while listening to an audiobook or podcast. Other deep self care is getting time in nature, taking photographs, and making things. I love all the things like baths and meditation and yummy food, but I’m finding that when I really need to pull myself out of a bad place, it’s often more practical and simple things that allow me to do that work.
Keeping a diary to help me put the difficult bits of the day into perspective and remember the happy bits. Keeping the space around me tidy. Drinking lots of water. Prayer as well, although I don't do as much of that as I'd like. And yoga!
Walking, puzzles, sleeping, cooking and moving my body. The list below is so lovely.
Eating regularly, drinking a lot of water, and getting enough sleep is my self care baseline.
If I need more tenderness I add wrapping in a blanket or sitting in the sun with a favorite show or book, a long walk among trees, or sitting and watching the sea.
- eating good proper big meals when my mind feels extra wobbly
- going on walks every day, taking photos of little details (like flowers) when I feel overwhelmed (zooming in helps with the dread?)
- listening to my playlist of instrumental music that is so pleasant it does not evoke any emotion except perhaps a little delight, it slows my heart down I’ve noticed.
- naps
- having a real nice quality blanket (a cotton bed spread) on the couch to crawl under whenever desired.
- heating cream on my shoulder blade area after a bath
- drawing
I love this topic! Self-care for me is doing something just for fun (not to be productive) Sometimes it’s paddle boarding or getting a pedicure or trying something new. My usual self-care routine is taking my meds, having a book to read, eating regularly, squishing my dog, gentle yoga, and talking with friends or partner about my mental health. ❤️
Going for a walk in the fresh air. Listening to Harry Potter audio book. Watching a feel good film I have seen lots of times. Cleaning the house. Making soup. Washing my hair 😊
My self care: dog walking, being outside, animal cuddling of any kind, feeding wildlife, my morning and night time routines, weighted eye pillow for sleep, watching buffy the vampire slayer or Harry Potter, eating comfort foods, not being reachable on my phone, drinking cider, being creative such as decoupage.
For me it is having nutritous food that makes me feel like I'm being gentle to my body, listening to soft jazz or bossa nova, practising yoga at my own pace, talking walks outside or taking care of my plants - being connected to nature really helps me feel grounded ♥
-Reading before bed and getting early nights
-Going out for regular walks in nature
-Eating well
-Moving my body in some way, whether that's yoga, aerial training, cycling or swimming
New to my list is taking a break when things get stressful. I have to learn a lot for exams and whenever I feel very overwhelmed by the amount I have to learn, I give my brain a break by having a cup of tea or coffee, sit on the terrace, go for a wee walk, cook a nice meal, just lie in bed for a bit, watch a TV series, read a novel, call my sister... somehow this works wonders for me.
Very good idea and already part of self-care ❤️ what I usually try first is to meditate but lying down to give rest to my body. Love the body scans from Plum Village, and yoga nidra (sessions can be found on various apps or channels). I check in with my body more often now, to be more in tune with what she's telling me (I suffer from chronic back pain). Helps me to get out of my head, too ! And when I can, I go outside for a walk and smell every flower or look for color and texture variety in nature. Bad weather? Drawing, writing, playing with my two cats, putting on music or preparing a tiny bath for my feet... A foot spa at home ..
Mine includes taking my meds, showering under HOTTTTTTT water, cuddling my pets, and putting calming music or nature sounds on in the background.
Here's what I do for self-care:
Take a nap when I'm tired
Games and puzzles
Reading everyday is a big one!
Exercise (which I divide between going outside for a walk or doing a HIIT workout)
I can't draw to save my life, but I do use stencils and adult colouring books
Lying on my back at every opportunity watching the sky… wrapped up cosy on chilly days, marvelling at the blue on sunny days
Promising to never pass a rose without sniffing it
Noticing the smell of freshly-mown grass
Talking out loud to myself… ‘what do you need, darling?’ ‘How you doing?’ And respectfully listening to the answers
My hot water bottle, even if the weather isn’t cold
Sending love to dear friends
Keeping an eye on when I’m spending more time in other people’s lives than my own… checking that the news, social media, box set, podcast or playlist isn’t stopping me checking in with myself
Dancing, wherever, whenever
Get outside. Whatever the weather. Talk to people, strangers for mini conversations, friends for deeper ones. Don’t text the shitty friends or exes that will not respond in a validating way. Cuddle my son. Fuzz my silly cat. Eat foods that feel good for my soul and breathe.
There are things I do to make me happy but the real self care which is tough worm but makes me feel a lot better is showers, dressing well and doing skincare so I look and feel put together, it helps me so much mentally. And exercise is a big one I'm trying to work on
I love taking my dog on long walks with music or podcasts on. It feels lovely to be outside and to be bringing my dog joy too from exercise. I also really like cleaning when I'm stressed, things feel less chaotic and more achievable with a clean apartment.
I try to look up…clouds make me happy and taking pictures of the sky reminds me very few things last forever. Also, music…I always listen to music ❤️❤️
True self care for me includes getting 8 hours of sleep (slash just making myself go to bed), drinking enough water, eating regularly (bonus if it's yummy and helps me get enough protein), exercising (whether that's a walk, yoga or a hard spin class), going to therapy, journalling, making and going to appointments/getting my adulting stuff done and reaching out to or spending time with friends. Putting the phone down and staying off social media. Setting and holding boundaries. Also cat and pony cuddles!
The feel good self care stuff includes massages, baths, watching favourite movies or playing video games, eating favourite foods, treating myself, travel/mini adventures. It's nice but not essential self care.
Some of these only work if I have the energy for it, but all are helpful: Forcing myself to drink a bunch of water even if I don’t feel particularly thirsty. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables. Gentle stretching to work out the knots in my muscles. Creating something. Nature walks. Putting on perfume because it makes me feel fancy and I take more deep breaths. Also, can 100% confirm that short meditations have made me feel calmer and more focused this week despite a demanding work schedule.