You are wonderful 🤗 here's some ✨MJC-mail!✨

Beyonce, bikinis & giant 'pit hair

Hello my glorious newsletter flowers 🌼 it is LOVELY to be back here writing to you. Thank you for waiting for this one to come through! A couple of you sent v encouraging messages after last week’s mail and I appreciated that very much 🥰

How are you?? I’ve landed somewhere refreshingly soft today after a few tumultuous brain moments this month - the self-kindness is always a work in progress, and I’ve caught myself being too self-critical and putting unreasonable amounts of pressure on myself lately. But we recognise the pattern, we talk it out, we try to be kinder tomorrow. I’m hoping all of your self-kindness has been thriving 💜 Catch me up in the comments?

Still, there were lots of beautiful moments in June that I got to look back on to gather up and share with you! Buckle up, get cosy, and let’s catch up!

The month started with Beyonce fever.

The month of June should probably be renamed Renaissance Month

I made myself look like a human disco ball and rocked up to the Renaissance World Tour with a lovely group of fellow IG creators. The show was out-of-this-world. The vibes were immaculate. The hat did produce tiny glass splinters that became a hazard to both me and Char but ‘twas a small price to pay to have the same hat as Bey.

I also got to run a creator workshop at instagram with a Beyonce Empowerment theme! I asked my favourite twerk instructor Nana to come and teach us a short routine and we all got in exactly the right mindset for the show. It was beaut.

And from Beyonce to babies… I went to visit one of my longest friends whose first baby just turned 1! This is the first baby I’ve interacted with as an adult (people around me just… aren’t procreating!), and I’ve gotta say, I had the best time. So much joy. So much fascination with everything. Consider me a fan.

Emoji-face bc it’s not my child to decide to put on the interwebs

And of course we’ve clocked in some family time back home as well!

“This is my LGBT dress”, said Gem 🌈

It was Father’s Day in the UK and we had a very cheese-oriented picnic in the garden, played some ping-pong, Gemma stole everyone’s sunglasses. 10/10 would do again.

And back to work things! In a surprising turn of events, I found myself face-to-face with a giant photo of my own armpit.

This one’s for the ex who pointed out the tiniest amount of underarm stubble I had after forgetting to shave and laughed

Well, there was an entire gallery of armpits! Of all shades, shapes, ages, hairy and hairless, smooth and bumpy. The gallery was part of a project with Dove to normalise more kinds of underarm and help us feel less insecure, however we choose to care for that part of ourselves. It felt weirdly emotional walking through the gallery and seeing the reclaiming of another body part we’ve been taught to see as flawed and pressured into presenting a certain way. Me and my hairy ‘pits were proud to be a part of it.

I’ve had the joy of pulling some lewks for a few London events lately…

The pink is rented (Hurr), the orange is second-hand (Vinted)

I’ve also cancelled a couple of things I was meant to go to because my body and brain just could not. And I feel good about that. We’re not out here burning ourselves into the ground to keep up social appearances anymore - we allow ourselves to be sofa zombies when necessary!

We’ve had some gloriously sunny days and I’ve taken the opportunity to put on very little clothing and do mini photoshoots to celebrate the body-ody-ody and embrace the bare face 🥰

For a while I started to believe there was no value in these kind of photos. Enough people told me that I wasn’t xyz enough to be posting them. And sure, these aren’t the most radical images - the woman in these photos has many privileges and doesn’t fall “too far” outside of the beauty standard for a lot of people. But she’s also an eating disorder survivor who never dreamed that she would be comfortable wearing a size XL and embracing her soft stomach. I’ve decided that there is still value in showing that. And I enjoyed taking the photos for myself, too. 😇

I’ve also been moving the body as a means of maintaining the brain!

A booty shake a week helps the brain not to freak 🍑

And have been hugging friends when given the chance…

(Hugging/stroking their newly shaved head)

And that’s about it for June! Oop- nearly forgot to give you a bae update…

We are good, she’s wonderful, we did a whole lot of celebrating over London Pride weekend but technically that was July, so you’ll have to wait until next time! 🌈

Wbu? What’s going on in your world? Fill me in down in the comments!

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Something happened a few nights ago. I was walking home alone through London, endorphins pumping from the dance class I'd just been to. For whatever reason, my brain seemed to be taking a break that day from playing a loop of everything I should be doing better, more, less, differently.

And suddenly I was struck by the unlikeliness of it all. That I would be where I am, doing what I'm doing, seemed overwhelmingly miraculous.

I am a girl from a small town whose brain has made life difficult for as long as I can remember. The eating disorder that nearly killed me. The anxiety that lead to dropping out of university twice. The depression that still tries to convince me that I shouldn't wake up, can't get anything right, don't deserve to feel anything good.

The fact that I have managed to get to here - living alone in London, going to new places to try new things, building a career from a path that's never existed before, continuing to show up and do my best through all the doubt and darkness... Is overwhelmingly miraculous.

For those few minutes, my brain stopped playing that loop of everything I should be doing better, more, less, differently. And all I felt was proud. Proud because only I know how unlikely this all really is. And that's something I would like to allow myself to feel far more often. 💜

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Transcript: Hello gorgeous ones, I just wanted to remind you that you don’t have to be at 100 to be worthy of being in the world, talking to people, going places, enjoying things… I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to social interactions to always be my quickest, my wittiest, my most positive, 100% my best self. And that is an unreasonable expectation. You don’t have to be your best self to be worthy of taking part in the world. Sometime be on 70! Sometimes be on 50! Sometimes be on 20 and stay home if that’s what you need to do. But there’s no need for us to be setting ourselves these impossible expectations when we’re just human, and it’s not our job to be 100 every day. Take care my loves, speak to you soon!

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And that’s it for another MJC-mail! 🙌🏽 I hope you’ve enjoyed taking a leisurely scroll, having a read and a listen. If you’ve made it this far it would be really useful to hear what you do enjoy about this newsletter, whether the format works for you, if it’s too much or too little. She’s a work-in-progress and she can always be adapted!

Massive gigantic hugs to my paid subscriber pals here who’ve been generous enough to buy me a coffee this month! There aren’t many of you but it’s reassuring as heck to know that anyone sees enough value in the things I create to send me a small monetary thank you. You’re the best 🥰

If you’re reading this and you’re not a subscriber yet, free or paid, whatcha doing?! Come join the newsletter crew! The people here are wonderful 🤗

Until next time my loves, take care of yourselves!

M

💜