Hello angels 💜 I don't know about you, but WHEW I've felt a lot of things over the holiday. And before we kick off a New Year, I thought it might be cute to try something new here… I’m calling it a validation train.
It works just the same as a compliment train, but rather than giving each other compliments, I thought we could validate whatever difficult emotions we’ve got going on right now. So! If you want to send some internet support to a stranger today:
Leave a comment with literally anything you're feeling that you wanna let out. No wrong feelings. No “other people have it worse”. Your feels are welcome here. 💜
Go to someone else’s comment and recognise their feels. You don't need to offer advice (most of us probably aren't qualified to do that anyways), but a simple “I hear you” or “this sounds really difficult, you're doing great” can go a long way!
Everyone's invited to comment, and you're welcome to share positive feels as well! Let's get this validation train going! 🙏🏽🌞
I don't know how I feel about my Dad. I have had issues with him all my life and right now it's uncertain if he and my Mom will get divorced. I wouldn't be sad if that happened. There are times he can get super mean and hurtful, and sometimes he will deny it if you call him on it. At least my Mom and I are there for each other. I don't know if he wants to do the work to keep our family together.
I’m just exhausted. I’ve known I’m an empath for years (hello veterinary medicine) but I feel like humans just suck me dry. Any time I have to be around other folxs I need at least a day to recover. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve lost all my social skills.
I am feeling so much despair over the state of pandemic numbers and response in my community. It is getting so bad here and healthcare is collapsing and it feels like our government has abandoned us and I don't know what to do anymore.
I lost my gramma a few days before Christmas to Covid. I helped her decorate all the trees in her house, and I only decorated one this year after she went to heaven. She wanted silver and gold tree last year and bought all the supplies for it this year. I decorated it for her, but it was hard without her direction. She always knew how to decorate best. She raised me, stepped in as a mother figure when my mom left when I was 8, and was actively involved in my life from my beginning to her end. My soul is at peace knowing she’s no longer in pain, but my heart still aches for her.
I wish society was as excited about a woman's career choices as it is about their relationships or pregnancy announcements. I'm taking time and money to become a licensed therapist on top of teaching secondary school and all I get to hear is "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
I'm 34 and have never been on a date and am worried that my life is pretty much over. I'm still dealing with a diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes. Looking at photos of myself from Christmas, part of me still thinks I look so hideous I wonder why or if any of my family could ever love me, let alone a significant other. The path forward in my life right now feels so murky and depressing. I am aware weight is not the end-all, be-all of health, but I realized I am still struggling to accept my body may never be smaller than it is now. I'm very depressed about my lack of money and physical fitness. It feels like even the smallest joyful movement things are hard for me, and I want to give up because I just don't see anything getting better anytime soon. I am just so exhausted. All of my goals feel out of reach, or very scary.
I just realized that discovering my mom’s affair when I was a teenager left me with sexual & emotional trauma I am now dealing with years later. I resent her for it but I also still love her, it has been so hard to deal when seeing my family over the holidays and it’s affecting my relationship with my fiancé. It feels so unfair.
My grandmother died last weekend. She was cold and controlling, and I don't miss her at all, and I'm tired of trying to act like I'm sad when people express their condolences.
I am exhausted constantly. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with me and seem to dismiss me because I am on mental health medications. They always want to blame my mental health. I have grown to mistrust doctors after several misdiagnosis and in general them ignoring my symptoms. It seems that I can't find anyone I trust.
I feel sad and overwhelmed, my son might have autism and I'm trying to get him the help he needs.
I also feel depressed because I never have time for myself because I'm always being "mom" or taking care of my parents. I am lonely and don't know how to even make new friends.
I'm not really used to having free time anymore, so not working during the holidays has mostly made me anxious and stuff I worry about is growing out of proportion in my head.
Feeling incredibly overwhelmed by how little we can actually do about climate change, without our government getting their shit together. Sometimes saving for nice things, planning for the future and working towards goals feels completely pointless, because the world will sink.
I have just been feeling so empty lately. I do my job during the day and then in the evenings I don't have energy to do anything fun or productive. I don't feel like eating, I just want to lay in bed but then when it's time to go to sleep I am procrastinating. Just don't really know what I am living for at the moment.
My partner and best friend has been told today he isn't eligible for the visa that would let him stay living with me so we're processing a lot and looking at a long time living apart, and I'm furious with the unfairness of immigration and also devastated at the thought of having to live on separate continents again. I know we're not the only couple pushed apart by immigration rules but it hurts a lot.
I’m really bummed about not being able to go to the Christmas market this year. My partner and I went every year pre-Covid and it was kind of our thing. I was kind of hoping things would be normal enough this year to go, but due to my immune condition, I just can’t risk it :(
I’m pregnant with my first baby. And I want to be excited but I’m just not. Everyone else is. I’m worried about who I’m going to become and how I will change.
I feel super angry at the world right now. The way capitalism tells us lies and destroys us. I feel hopeless about it at times and powerless mostly. It feels like a lot and I want to do something, I just don‘t know where to start.
I'm French, my husband is Japanese and we live in France. We've had to cancel our trip back to Japan for the 4th time in a year because of Covid restrictions. My in-laws are elders and I'm so scared something would happen to them and my husband could not even be there (or would have to go alone). I had to explain to my 3 year old why we were canceling again and she's so sad. My husband doesn't say anything but I know he's heartbroken. I'm heartbroken too. it feels like we will never be able to spend time there with our loved ones again.
Struggling to with the fact that I have to head back to drama school in a week and I don't want to leave my family. I have great friends there but by the same token I often feel like I don't fit in and I've felt the lowest I've felt in years while I've been there and I don't want to feel like that again. Grieving my Granny too and all the people I've lost in the past few years. It all just feels a bit too much!
For the first time since the beginning of the pandemic, I am feeling frightened and worried. The huge spike in case numbers has me concerned for the future, and how we will all get through it. I visited home over Christmas but have spent the whole time in a state of panic about being able to get back to where I live and work.
What makes me the saddest is that this may just be our reality now.
I was very hopeful to see my brother, who used to be my most important person until that relationship was shattered quite a few years ago (with a death threat and nightmares about him killing our parents at the height of it) and maybe start rebuilding things, but when I saw him in person again I had such a strong anxiety reaction (that my therapist helped me identify as likely ptsd) that I could hardly look at him or talk to him the whole time he was here even though I was the one who worked so hard over the phone to convince him to come. I was just panicked and we didn't even hug. I can't stop crying now because I'm so scared that I hurt him and made him sad by rejecting him and I feel like a complete piece of shit and paired with depression and loneliness and the state of the world I really don't want to live anymore. I fucking miss my brother and I hate myself.
I feel like I have so much more potential and so much more to offer, but I need more time and money to explore (to study, for example) and I don't have that. I need to ask my husband and others for support and that's scary. It's easier to let everything stay the same, everything is going fine right now. But I want more.
I may have given my whole family COVID 19 for Christmas and I am scared it will spread to my grandma who is in the hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.
Navigating a chronic health condition (hEDS and fibromyalgia, and their concurrent challenges) during the darkest, coldest, and holiday-est time of the year is beyond challenging. Some days, I want to just give up.
I have been depressed & on a sick leave from uni for almost a year now. I feel like I have ruined my chances to succeed in life and have a career by being too weak to continue with my responsibilities.
My best friend from childhood recently “broke up with me” via text message, saying we grew apart and have became different people. It’s been a massive change in dynamics this year for me.. I’ve questioned all my life choices and what I have done in my life for this to get to this point. It’s broken my heart ten times over and this Christmas has been particularly hard moving forward doing things without my old friendship group.. I’m lucky to have a strong family and fiancé but without this strong support group I feel I’d be in the depths of depression; I feel I’ve lost a massive part of my identity.. yet also feel relief I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations - which again, also brings guilt. So many emotions I’m trying to figure out.. I hope it works itself out. Third world problems (I know!) but still a huge loss - I feel I’m grieving an old life and friend at the same time. 💔
My anxiety is triggered by my in-laws and I don't know how to let my boys visit and have a relationship with their grandparents without it causing huge emotional issues for me. I don't know how to repair it.
Ever since our neighbours moved in 3 months ago, I feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home. I try and spend as much time out of the house as possible and I dread returning home, I shake and feel physically sick at the thought. I have a 3 year old boy and try not to let it affect him but inevitably he knows something is up. We’re starting the process of moving house but it will take time and I am already broken by it. I miss the security of feeling ‘home’ that I used to have and massively resent my neighbours for taking that away. Thank you for reading, it helps to write it down ❤️
I always feel like everyone hates me and can't stand to speak to me - try to get away as fast as possible or avoid as much as possible. So I wonder what I may have done wrong. I ask and told I am paranoid and many love me and yet I am still lonely and no one ever calls or messages me. I try to always reach out to others and I don't want to just receive I want to give too but I'm always met with either one word answers or just ignored. It's hard, but I'm used to it by now. It happened before covid. *Sigh* I've just had to learn to be content with my own company. Just seems super easy for everyone else to have these amazing friendships and I don't. Just one friend would be amazing.
I'm having a hard time letting go the man I'm in love with. He is my best support and I've become a better person since I met him but we don't exactly share the same feelings and I'm finding it extremely difficult 😞
We are all doing great for surving and thriving just being here. I hear you all sending lots of love from up north for anyone who needs the extra right now
I’m exhausted with parenting my youngest son and petrified that schools will go virtual again. I love my child dearly, but need more time apart from him (which makes me feel guilty).
I've been feeling insignificant yet overwhelmed. I feel like I'm the one who does absolutely everything to keep my household and family functioning, but like none of it actually matters to anyone. I'm feeling totally unsupported. My husband tells me I don't ask for help, yet when I have asked for him to do a task for me he replies that he'll do it with me but not for me, which isn't actually lightening my load any. And he isn't hearing me when I tell him I'm floundering.
I'm torn between wanting to make plans to see loved ones and not wanting to get out of bed. In the last 6 months, I have quit a toxic job, worked in a restaurant over the summer, moved 3 times, re-entered the legal field (I'm a lawyer by training and education) and started a new job as a manager (I have a whole staff I am responsible for which is WILD). It's been a lot of change in a short period of time and I am struggling to hold space for both emotions simultaneously.
I feel overwhelmed. There's not enough time in the day. It's the holidays and I'm "meant" to feel festive...I don't. I feel mentally exhausted and let down. I want to cry but that act alone seems to selfish, besides I'm scared I'll never stop crying and bring everyone down with my mood. Thanks Guys...feels good to get that out xx
I like the guy my best friend likes and am trying to get over it but I talk to him and my friend gets annoyed at me it sounds like high school drama because it is and it sucks
I feel like I have been closed off from myself this year after some things that have happened--closed off to what I am feeling as if I know its there, but I cant or don't want to access it-- I just feel somewhat numb. its a new feeling for me and I don't want it anymore. I really want to feel again and, above all, finally feel/believe in my own worth this upcoming year--I really want to believe I can become "unstuck" and hope that this can happen.
I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself that I don’t know how to get back. I miss her.
I don't know how I feel about my Dad. I have had issues with him all my life and right now it's uncertain if he and my Mom will get divorced. I wouldn't be sad if that happened. There are times he can get super mean and hurtful, and sometimes he will deny it if you call him on it. At least my Mom and I are there for each other. I don't know if he wants to do the work to keep our family together.
Feeling particularly lonely, and struggling to work through feelings surrounding intimate relationships this Christmas.
I’m just exhausted. I’ve known I’m an empath for years (hello veterinary medicine) but I feel like humans just suck me dry. Any time I have to be around other folxs I need at least a day to recover. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve lost all my social skills.
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night.
The holidays always trigger me for several reasons. Today I feel glad to be moving through it and hopeful for 2022 <3
I am feeling so much despair over the state of pandemic numbers and response in my community. It is getting so bad here and healthcare is collapsing and it feels like our government has abandoned us and I don't know what to do anymore.
I lost my gramma a few days before Christmas to Covid. I helped her decorate all the trees in her house, and I only decorated one this year after she went to heaven. She wanted silver and gold tree last year and bought all the supplies for it this year. I decorated it for her, but it was hard without her direction. She always knew how to decorate best. She raised me, stepped in as a mother figure when my mom left when I was 8, and was actively involved in my life from my beginning to her end. My soul is at peace knowing she’s no longer in pain, but my heart still aches for her.
I wish society was as excited about a woman's career choices as it is about their relationships or pregnancy announcements. I'm taking time and money to become a licensed therapist on top of teaching secondary school and all I get to hear is "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
I‘m 35, and no one will ever love me, and it sucks so bad.
I'm 34 and have never been on a date and am worried that my life is pretty much over. I'm still dealing with a diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes. Looking at photos of myself from Christmas, part of me still thinks I look so hideous I wonder why or if any of my family could ever love me, let alone a significant other. The path forward in my life right now feels so murky and depressing. I am aware weight is not the end-all, be-all of health, but I realized I am still struggling to accept my body may never be smaller than it is now. I'm very depressed about my lack of money and physical fitness. It feels like even the smallest joyful movement things are hard for me, and I want to give up because I just don't see anything getting better anytime soon. I am just so exhausted. All of my goals feel out of reach, or very scary.
I just realized that discovering my mom’s affair when I was a teenager left me with sexual & emotional trauma I am now dealing with years later. I resent her for it but I also still love her, it has been so hard to deal when seeing my family over the holidays and it’s affecting my relationship with my fiancé. It feels so unfair.
My grandmother died last weekend. She was cold and controlling, and I don't miss her at all, and I'm tired of trying to act like I'm sad when people express their condolences.
I am exhausted constantly. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with me and seem to dismiss me because I am on mental health medications. They always want to blame my mental health. I have grown to mistrust doctors after several misdiagnosis and in general them ignoring my symptoms. It seems that I can't find anyone I trust.
I miss my Mom a little more during the Holidays ♥️
I feel sad and overwhelmed, my son might have autism and I'm trying to get him the help he needs.
I also feel depressed because I never have time for myself because I'm always being "mom" or taking care of my parents. I am lonely and don't know how to even make new friends.
I'm not really used to having free time anymore, so not working during the holidays has mostly made me anxious and stuff I worry about is growing out of proportion in my head.
Feeling incredibly overwhelmed by how little we can actually do about climate change, without our government getting their shit together. Sometimes saving for nice things, planning for the future and working towards goals feels completely pointless, because the world will sink.
I have just been feeling so empty lately. I do my job during the day and then in the evenings I don't have energy to do anything fun or productive. I don't feel like eating, I just want to lay in bed but then when it's time to go to sleep I am procrastinating. Just don't really know what I am living for at the moment.
I sometimes just want to go away and do nothing. No work, no parenting, no housework just disappear.
My partner and best friend has been told today he isn't eligible for the visa that would let him stay living with me so we're processing a lot and looking at a long time living apart, and I'm furious with the unfairness of immigration and also devastated at the thought of having to live on separate continents again. I know we're not the only couple pushed apart by immigration rules but it hurts a lot.
I’m really bummed about not being able to go to the Christmas market this year. My partner and I went every year pre-Covid and it was kind of our thing. I was kind of hoping things would be normal enough this year to go, but due to my immune condition, I just can’t risk it :(
I’m pregnant with my first baby. And I want to be excited but I’m just not. Everyone else is. I’m worried about who I’m going to become and how I will change.
I feel super angry at the world right now. The way capitalism tells us lies and destroys us. I feel hopeless about it at times and powerless mostly. It feels like a lot and I want to do something, I just don‘t know where to start.
I'm French, my husband is Japanese and we live in France. We've had to cancel our trip back to Japan for the 4th time in a year because of Covid restrictions. My in-laws are elders and I'm so scared something would happen to them and my husband could not even be there (or would have to go alone). I had to explain to my 3 year old why we were canceling again and she's so sad. My husband doesn't say anything but I know he's heartbroken. I'm heartbroken too. it feels like we will never be able to spend time there with our loved ones again.
Feeling myself slipping into disordered thinking about my size this time of year. Not sure why or how to fix it 😕
Struggling to with the fact that I have to head back to drama school in a week and I don't want to leave my family. I have great friends there but by the same token I often feel like I don't fit in and I've felt the lowest I've felt in years while I've been there and I don't want to feel like that again. Grieving my Granny too and all the people I've lost in the past few years. It all just feels a bit too much!
For the first time since the beginning of the pandemic, I am feeling frightened and worried. The huge spike in case numbers has me concerned for the future, and how we will all get through it. I visited home over Christmas but have spent the whole time in a state of panic about being able to get back to where I live and work.
What makes me the saddest is that this may just be our reality now.
I was very hopeful to see my brother, who used to be my most important person until that relationship was shattered quite a few years ago (with a death threat and nightmares about him killing our parents at the height of it) and maybe start rebuilding things, but when I saw him in person again I had such a strong anxiety reaction (that my therapist helped me identify as likely ptsd) that I could hardly look at him or talk to him the whole time he was here even though I was the one who worked so hard over the phone to convince him to come. I was just panicked and we didn't even hug. I can't stop crying now because I'm so scared that I hurt him and made him sad by rejecting him and I feel like a complete piece of shit and paired with depression and loneliness and the state of the world I really don't want to live anymore. I fucking miss my brother and I hate myself.
I feel like I have so much more potential and so much more to offer, but I need more time and money to explore (to study, for example) and I don't have that. I need to ask my husband and others for support and that's scary. It's easier to let everything stay the same, everything is going fine right now. But I want more.
I may have given my whole family COVID 19 for Christmas and I am scared it will spread to my grandma who is in the hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.
Navigating a chronic health condition (hEDS and fibromyalgia, and their concurrent challenges) during the darkest, coldest, and holiday-est time of the year is beyond challenging. Some days, I want to just give up.
I am desperately wrestling between self loathing and self acceptance.
I have been depressed & on a sick leave from uni for almost a year now. I feel like I have ruined my chances to succeed in life and have a career by being too weak to continue with my responsibilities.
My best friend from childhood recently “broke up with me” via text message, saying we grew apart and have became different people. It’s been a massive change in dynamics this year for me.. I’ve questioned all my life choices and what I have done in my life for this to get to this point. It’s broken my heart ten times over and this Christmas has been particularly hard moving forward doing things without my old friendship group.. I’m lucky to have a strong family and fiancé but without this strong support group I feel I’d be in the depths of depression; I feel I’ve lost a massive part of my identity.. yet also feel relief I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations - which again, also brings guilt. So many emotions I’m trying to figure out.. I hope it works itself out. Third world problems (I know!) but still a huge loss - I feel I’m grieving an old life and friend at the same time. 💔
My anxiety is triggered by my in-laws and I don't know how to let my boys visit and have a relationship with their grandparents without it causing huge emotional issues for me. I don't know how to repair it.
Ever since our neighbours moved in 3 months ago, I feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home. I try and spend as much time out of the house as possible and I dread returning home, I shake and feel physically sick at the thought. I have a 3 year old boy and try not to let it affect him but inevitably he knows something is up. We’re starting the process of moving house but it will take time and I am already broken by it. I miss the security of feeling ‘home’ that I used to have and massively resent my neighbours for taking that away. Thank you for reading, it helps to write it down ❤️
I always feel like everyone hates me and can't stand to speak to me - try to get away as fast as possible or avoid as much as possible. So I wonder what I may have done wrong. I ask and told I am paranoid and many love me and yet I am still lonely and no one ever calls or messages me. I try to always reach out to others and I don't want to just receive I want to give too but I'm always met with either one word answers or just ignored. It's hard, but I'm used to it by now. It happened before covid. *Sigh* I've just had to learn to be content with my own company. Just seems super easy for everyone else to have these amazing friendships and I don't. Just one friend would be amazing.
I'm having a hard time letting go the man I'm in love with. He is my best support and I've become a better person since I met him but we don't exactly share the same feelings and I'm finding it extremely difficult 😞
We are all doing great for surving and thriving just being here. I hear you all sending lots of love from up north for anyone who needs the extra right now
I’m exhausted with parenting my youngest son and petrified that schools will go virtual again. I love my child dearly, but need more time apart from him (which makes me feel guilty).
I've been feeling insignificant yet overwhelmed. I feel like I'm the one who does absolutely everything to keep my household and family functioning, but like none of it actually matters to anyone. I'm feeling totally unsupported. My husband tells me I don't ask for help, yet when I have asked for him to do a task for me he replies that he'll do it with me but not for me, which isn't actually lightening my load any. And he isn't hearing me when I tell him I'm floundering.
I'm torn between wanting to make plans to see loved ones and not wanting to get out of bed. In the last 6 months, I have quit a toxic job, worked in a restaurant over the summer, moved 3 times, re-entered the legal field (I'm a lawyer by training and education) and started a new job as a manager (I have a whole staff I am responsible for which is WILD). It's been a lot of change in a short period of time and I am struggling to hold space for both emotions simultaneously.
I feel overwhelmed. There's not enough time in the day. It's the holidays and I'm "meant" to feel festive...I don't. I feel mentally exhausted and let down. I want to cry but that act alone seems to selfish, besides I'm scared I'll never stop crying and bring everyone down with my mood. Thanks Guys...feels good to get that out xx
I’m embarrassed because I may have drank too much at a family Christmas party and I’m obsessing over it.
I feel so suffocated with my body image. I can’t enjoy anything at the minute and I can’t stop this downwards spiral
I feel a little frustrated and fatigued and trying hard not to beat myself up
I like the guy my best friend likes and am trying to get over it but I talk to him and my friend gets annoyed at me it sounds like high school drama because it is and it sucks
I’m stuck between following my heart and following my head. Is it possible to be in love with one person and only love the other? I’m so stuck 🥺
I feel like I have been closed off from myself this year after some things that have happened--closed off to what I am feeling as if I know its there, but I cant or don't want to access it-- I just feel somewhat numb. its a new feeling for me and I don't want it anymore. I really want to feel again and, above all, finally feel/believe in my own worth this upcoming year--I really want to believe I can become "unstuck" and hope that this can happen.