Hello angels 💜 I don't know about you, but WHEW I've felt a lot of things over the holiday. And before we kick off a New Year, I thought it might be cute to try something new here… I’m calling it a validation train.
It works just the same as a compliment train, but rather than giving each other compliments, I thought we could validate whatever difficult emotions we’ve got going on right now. So! If you want to send some internet support to a stranger today:
Leave a comment with literally anything you're feeling that you wanna let out. No wrong feelings. No “other people have it worse”. Your feels are welcome here. 💜
Go to someone else’s comment and recognise their feels. You don't need to offer advice (most of us probably aren't qualified to do that anyways), but a simple “I hear you” or “this sounds really difficult, you're doing great” can go a long way!
Everyone's invited to comment, and you're welcome to share positive feels as well! Let's get this validation train going! 🙏🏽🌞
I feel the same too, but she is still there. She's just developing into something more and stronger. I mourn (in a way) my old self. But I also wouldn't be who I am today without the struggles and challenges. Its ok to grieve that part of yourself but also remember how much good you have done. <3
That really resonated with me, and gaining those words to describe the feeling really helped ❤️ thank you! I hope we both reconnect with that part of ourselves, or grieve, or whatever comes next
I don't know how I feel about my Dad. I have had issues with him all my life and right now it's uncertain if he and my Mom will get divorced. I wouldn't be sad if that happened. There are times he can get super mean and hurtful, and sometimes he will deny it if you call him on it. At least my Mom and I are there for each other. I don't know if he wants to do the work to keep our family together.
As a child of a very complicated on again off again relationship, I can tell you that your feelings are 100% valid and normal. I'm sending you so much love.
Im sorry to hear that , that must be really difficult and confrontation for an unnecessary stress etc is not what you need right now, its current days around the world in a pandemic is a big thing to cope with on top of life personal issues. You can get through anything, thinking of you
I'm in a similar boat and it really sucks!! Don't forget to take care of yourself amongst all of this, and give yourself permission to prioritise your own needs and feelings.
Sending much love, and remember, you will get through this! ❤
Im having issues with my dad and brother and it's so hard. our parents are already divorced, and i don't know if keeping them in my life is worth it when all they do is criticize me and bring me down and tell me i'm too much.
I’m just exhausted. I’ve known I’m an empath for years (hello veterinary medicine) but I feel like humans just suck me dry. Any time I have to be around other folxs I need at least a day to recover. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve lost all my social skills.
I hear you Cindy! Another fellow empath an introvert here. I think it is a social skill to be able to write about how you feel and to know when you need some alone time 💕
Oh ladies, I can’t cry. I mean, I just can’t. I lost my dad earlier this year and still can’t cry. Probably because I won’t let myself? I am one to always hold all the business inside….Please feel free to let the tears flow. You are so brave to let it all hang out. Many hugs to all of you.
I am feeling so much despair over the state of pandemic numbers and response in my community. It is getting so bad here and healthcare is collapsing and it feels like our government has abandoned us and I don't know what to do anymore.
I also feel like this. I bury my head in the sand with it as it blows my mind how detrimental to our country their decisions are! .. I could go in my soap box for days but when you scale it back its just a hard pill to swallow that its even came this far and has been accepted for so long 💔
I hear you. I am a teacher and watching others behave irresponsibly and having rules that are putting the economy before people is driving me mad. I can see we will probably moving back to weeks and weeks of online teaching and it feels so unfair.
I lost my gramma a few days before Christmas to Covid. I helped her decorate all the trees in her house, and I only decorated one this year after she went to heaven. She wanted silver and gold tree last year and bought all the supplies for it this year. I decorated it for her, but it was hard without her direction. She always knew how to decorate best. She raised me, stepped in as a mother figure when my mom left when I was 8, and was actively involved in my life from my beginning to her end. My soul is at peace knowing she’s no longer in pain, but my heart still aches for her.
Losing someone so close to you must be unbelievably difficult... It's ok to feel a complicated mixture of emotions. Grief is complicated. Sending you love and peace.
I am so sorry for your loss Emily--I lost my Oma this year too. sending love and prayers your way--I am so proud of you for remembering her in such a special way this year ❤️
I wish society was as excited about a woman's career choices as it is about their relationships or pregnancy announcements. I'm taking time and money to become a licensed therapist on top of teaching secondary school and all I get to hear is "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Same here. Hopefully my story brings a smile to your face but every time I visit my grandma she tells me "did you find a rich boyfriend to take care of you? You need to find a rich boyfriend". I always tell her "grandma I don't need a rich boyfriend. I'll become a rich woman", flip my hair and walk out the room in style 😁😁
I feel this too. It sucks to not get the same praise and recognition for career accomplishments. And you're such a badass! Both becoming a licensed therapist AND teaching secondary school?!! I celebrate you and all that you are doing!
I'm sure you're a kind and lovely person. Finding the right person to share your life with can take time. My wife was 34 when we met and we both used to think we were somehow to difficult to be loved. You'll be alright <3
You can love yourself. I am semi old, lol, and have been alone for almost 30 years. Not just living alone, but I’m an introvert and stay away from gatherings. I am shy, have anxiety, but feel like I’m living my best life. You do deserve love: love your eyes, the way your lips turn up as you smile, the silly way your hair pokes up when you wake in the morning. All of that is loving yourself for who you are. Big hugs, we are here, loving you, if you need to chat!
I'm 34 and have never been on a date and am worried that my life is pretty much over. I'm still dealing with a diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes. Looking at photos of myself from Christmas, part of me still thinks I look so hideous I wonder why or if any of my family could ever love me, let alone a significant other. The path forward in my life right now feels so murky and depressing. I am aware weight is not the end-all, be-all of health, but I realized I am still struggling to accept my body may never be smaller than it is now. I'm very depressed about my lack of money and physical fitness. It feels like even the smallest joyful movement things are hard for me, and I want to give up because I just don't see anything getting better anytime soon. I am just so exhausted. All of my goals feel out of reach, or very scary.
This is so relatable. We all have times when it feels easier to give up. Please remember your body is your home and be kind to yourself. I think it would be lovely if you took yourself on a date - treat yourself to whatever feels good to you. Also focusing on weight and fitness instead of health and wellness is easy to do, but just stretching and movement are great ways to care for your body. Best wishes with your diagnosis - I hope the new information helps you to better understand and care for your body
We as women are raised to believe that our self-worth is based on how we look and when we don't achieve a beauty standard that is cooked up by some man, we feel like failures. You are not a failure. You are so much more than an idea of beauty. Write down what you're good at, walk outside and take a deep breath because despite all of the social constructs that are made to keep us women down, you are here. You are alive and you are an exceptional being. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. And stop following Instagram accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. Start following more women like Megan. I cannot tell you how wonderful you and that body of yours has got you here. Be kind to her.
I see you Sam. Like you said looks aren't everything but the picture I see of you I immediately noticed you have a beautiful full lip shape, nicely shaped and thick eyebrows, lovely big eyes, and gorgeous brunette hair (look at those curls!).
Things will get better, even if you can't see that right now. Everything in life is always changing. Sending you loving healing energy. You're a warrior!
I just realized that discovering my mom’s affair when I was a teenager left me with sexual & emotional trauma I am now dealing with years later. I resent her for it but I also still love her, it has been so hard to deal when seeing my family over the holidays and it’s affecting my relationship with my fiancé. It feels so unfair.
That sounds extremely difficult to navigate. Huge props to you for recognizing the root of the trauma so you can start to move forward in processing it and getting to a healthier place with yourself and family. Best wishes to you and your fiancé!
My grandmother died last weekend. She was cold and controlling, and I don't miss her at all, and I'm tired of trying to act like I'm sad when people express their condolences.
I am exhausted constantly. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with me and seem to dismiss me because I am on mental health medications. They always want to blame my mental health. I have grown to mistrust doctors after several misdiagnosis and in general them ignoring my symptoms. It seems that I can't find anyone I trust.
There is a proven bias against women in the medical and pharmaceutical trades. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it. I wish I could give you some of my spoons while you keep trying.
Doctors are human too so they make mistakes just like anyone else. Don’t give up on yourself. Keep advocating for your needs while still searching for a doctor who’s willing to listen. Good luck!
I feel sad and overwhelmed, my son might have autism and I'm trying to get him the help he needs.
I also feel depressed because I never have time for myself because I'm always being "mom" or taking care of my parents. I am lonely and don't know how to even make new friends.
You are definitely not alone. Advocating and getting proper care for a child is hard work, made harder by These Unprecedented Times. Sending hugs and love from one Neurodivergent Mum to another.
Sending you a big hug. You are not alone, I promise. There are families through the NSA support network (mentioned by Sarah) who I know would welcome you with open arms.
Have you a local National Autistic Society (NAS) support group? In my area there is a Facebook support group for parents with a child with a diagnosis and/or waiting. I have found it useful is what felt a very unsettling time for me (we are still waiting for our assessment).
I'm not really used to having free time anymore, so not working during the holidays has mostly made me anxious and stuff I worry about is growing out of proportion in my head.
Ahh Nathalie, this is so hard - I hear you. I signed up for a tonne of freelance work on December 23rd for this exact reason! But slowly learning how to enjoy switching off. I hope you find some peace and rest 💖
Oof, saaaaaame. i also get so in my head and extra anxious when I have too much free time. it's tough, and you are definitely not alone in this ❤️ sending big hugs
Feeling incredibly overwhelmed by how little we can actually do about climate change, without our government getting their shit together. Sometimes saving for nice things, planning for the future and working towards goals feels completely pointless, because the world will sink.
I feel exactly the same. Just yesterday I was crying about it, and it's so frustrating that you cannot even tell yourself "it's gonna be okay" because (as far as I've seen till now) not enough is being done by world leaders. However, I know that if I get too overwhelmed I won't be able to help at all. My usual escape is to numb with happy movies or cute puppy videos, but I would love to find a middle ground between numbness and anxiety.
Ouch, I feel you. Sending so much love to that part that feels pointless, and really hoping that amidst the shit there are some tiny moments of beauty ❤️
I have just been feeling so empty lately. I do my job during the day and then in the evenings I don't have energy to do anything fun or productive. I don't feel like eating, I just want to lay in bed but then when it's time to go to sleep I am procrastinating. Just don't really know what I am living for at the moment.
oh goodness ilse, i hear this. i'm so sorry you're feeling this way. i hope you can find some gentle compassion for yourself. i'm sending you lots of warm hugs ❤️
I hear you. This is also me at the moment. Any time I feel my cup filling a little, there seems to be something that knocks over my cup and I am back at square one.
My partner and best friend has been told today he isn't eligible for the visa that would let him stay living with me so we're processing a lot and looking at a long time living apart, and I'm furious with the unfairness of immigration and also devastated at the thought of having to live on separate continents again. I know we're not the only couple pushed apart by immigration rules but it hurts a lot.
I’m so sorry, this sounds devastating. Myself and my partner are from different countries and I’d be lost if this happened to us. It’s so unfair this is allowed to happen. I hope you guys can overcome this and find a solution 💜
I’m really bummed about not being able to go to the Christmas market this year. My partner and I went every year pre-Covid and it was kind of our thing. I was kind of hoping things would be normal enough this year to go, but due to my immune condition, I just can’t risk it :(
I’m pregnant with my first baby. And I want to be excited but I’m just not. Everyone else is. I’m worried about who I’m going to become and how I will change.
Becoming a parent is hard and it's okay (and logical!) to be worried or scared. I'm sending love your way and hope you can be patient and gentle with yourself 💜
Pregnancy can be a major mind f*ck and it’s totally normal to feel what you’re feeling. I wasn’t mind-ready until almost birth with both of my kids. They don’t come with an instruction manual. You do change and in ways you’d never expect, but I wouldn’t give up the experience for anything. My babies are in their early 30s and the humans they have become are amazing.
I feel super angry at the world right now. The way capitalism tells us lies and destroys us. I feel hopeless about it at times and powerless mostly. It feels like a lot and I want to do something, I just don‘t know where to start.
I feel you, I hear you. I think that feeling your emotions and knowing you want to do something are two pretty awesome achievements, regardless of what happens in the future.
I'm French, my husband is Japanese and we live in France. We've had to cancel our trip back to Japan for the 4th time in a year because of Covid restrictions. My in-laws are elders and I'm so scared something would happen to them and my husband could not even be there (or would have to go alone). I had to explain to my 3 year old why we were canceling again and she's so sad. My husband doesn't say anything but I know he's heartbroken. I'm heartbroken too. it feels like we will never be able to spend time there with our loved ones again.
It must be so difficult trying to explain to a child why these things are happening. You carry such a big burden in your shoulders, please try to remember that none of this is your fault and you are doing the best you possibly can. Hugs and strength to all of you❤️
It’s so tough, this has been a really long haul. I’m sure they know you love them even if you can’t be there in person. Sending you love and strength ❤️
Hey same!! It's really hard to fight off, isn't it! Love to be soaking in the poisonous marinade of diet culture all our lives!! But we're going to get through it, both of us and everyone else who is too.
Struggling to with the fact that I have to head back to drama school in a week and I don't want to leave my family. I have great friends there but by the same token I often feel like I don't fit in and I've felt the lowest I've felt in years while I've been there and I don't want to feel like that again. Grieving my Granny too and all the people I've lost in the past few years. It all just feels a bit too much!
That sounds really hard to deal with. With everything going on, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s been a hard few years and it’s so hard to leave people we love ❤️❤️ Sending you strength
For the first time since the beginning of the pandemic, I am feeling frightened and worried. The huge spike in case numbers has me concerned for the future, and how we will all get through it. I visited home over Christmas but have spent the whole time in a state of panic about being able to get back to where I live and work.
What makes me the saddest is that this may just be our reality now.
I have been feeling the same way! It’s really scary right now and I understand the anxiety. For me it helps a little to focus on what I can do to protect my household and share information with others - I help with vaccination clinics and have gotten to talk to people and ease their fears so they get the shot. I hope you were able to enjoy the visit and relax at least a little, sending you warm fuzzies and socially distanced virtual hugs!
I was very hopeful to see my brother, who used to be my most important person until that relationship was shattered quite a few years ago (with a death threat and nightmares about him killing our parents at the height of it) and maybe start rebuilding things, but when I saw him in person again I had such a strong anxiety reaction (that my therapist helped me identify as likely ptsd) that I could hardly look at him or talk to him the whole time he was here even though I was the one who worked so hard over the phone to convince him to come. I was just panicked and we didn't even hug. I can't stop crying now because I'm so scared that I hurt him and made him sad by rejecting him and I feel like a complete piece of shit and paired with depression and loneliness and the state of the world I really don't want to live anymore. I fucking miss my brother and I hate myself.
ALL of your feelings are valid and reasonable and true (except the part about you feeling bad about yourself. That is not reasonable, because you are doing your best, and letting yourself feel your feelings and that is brave and awesome) *hugs*
i'm so so sorry ❤️ everything you're experiencing is so valid and human. ptsd changes your nervous system, and none of this is your fault. sending you so much love.
I feel like I have so much more potential and so much more to offer, but I need more time and money to explore (to study, for example) and I don't have that. I need to ask my husband and others for support and that's scary. It's easier to let everything stay the same, everything is going fine right now. But I want more.
This is so beautiful! We are hard wired as humans for wanting more, and it sounds like you’re ready to make some moves towards a more fulfilling future. It’s always scary to ask for help, and also totally worth it if you can get closer to realizing your potential. Best wishes to you!
I may have given my whole family COVID 19 for Christmas and I am scared it will spread to my grandma who is in the hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.
Navigating a chronic health condition (hEDS and fibromyalgia, and their concurrent challenges) during the darkest, coldest, and holiday-est time of the year is beyond challenging. Some days, I want to just give up.
oh cara, I feel this so much ❤️ i also struggle with chronic pain (and struggle with holidays/winter/dark cold weather), and i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with it. please don't give up. i'm here with you.
It’s so hard. I have the same problem with my rheumatoid/PTSD (except it’s hot here). People who aren’t in the same boat don’t get it - but I hear you. Look after yourself first ❤️
Know you're not alone. Even though it may feel like an endless journey, every breath you take is a new opportunity to try starting to accept yourself even a little. You are wonderful and worthy of love ❤️
I have been depressed & on a sick leave from uni for almost a year now. I feel like I have ruined my chances to succeed in life and have a career by being too weak to continue with my responsibilities.
I don't know if this helps at all, but 12 years ago, I completely fell apart and left a prestigious PhD program and just struggled to... exist... for a few years after that. I was suicidal for a bit, severely depressed for a bit, paralyzed by PTSD for a bit, etc. Part-time work, falling more into debt every day. I just felt so totally stuck, like I was treading water in a swamp. Now my life is much better (well-paying job I love, etc.), and when I look back at that period I see that I was actually doggy-paddling in a direction I wanted to go, even if it didn't feel like it, and I'm so glad I made it through that hell and out the other side.
If that helps, I'm glad, but if not, just know that I'm sending you good thoughts!
Thank you so much for sharing this. The thought that all this will eventually affect in a way that I will end up in a meant-to-be kind of situation, is so consoling and encouraging. You taking the time to remind me of that means a lot ❤️
You are not weak. You have not ruined your chances to succeed. Being smart enough to take time off when you’re struggling is a massive sign of success. You WILL get there. Sending you love ❤️❤️
Taking time to rest, heal and cope with depression/illness is not weak - it shows strength and maturity. <3 School, career, and similar opportunities will all be waiting and ready for you when you feel better.
Thank you for this reminder, I get easily so anxious about everything having to happen right away, and the idea that education etc is like the most important accomplishment in life. Your words mean a lot to me ❤️
My best friend from childhood recently “broke up with me” via text message, saying we grew apart and have became different people. It’s been a massive change in dynamics this year for me.. I’ve questioned all my life choices and what I have done in my life for this to get to this point. It’s broken my heart ten times over and this Christmas has been particularly hard moving forward doing things without my old friendship group.. I’m lucky to have a strong family and fiancé but without this strong support group I feel I’d be in the depths of depression; I feel I’ve lost a massive part of my identity.. yet also feel relief I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations - which again, also brings guilt. So many emotions I’m trying to figure out.. I hope it works itself out. Third world problems (I know!) but still a huge loss - I feel I’m grieving an old life and friend at the same time. 💔
My best friend broke up with me a few months ago and it still hurts so bad. Our society doesn't seem to value friendship very much, but they can be such an important part of our lives. I'm so sorry (and also happy for your relief from expectations)
Lauren I hear you--this is so hard. I feel like all my friendships have been uprooted this year as well, with some nearing their ends and it is so hard ❤️ I am sending so much love to you. Please know it is okay to feel relief at the loss of this friendship as you live into this new person you are becoming -- I see you and this emotion is so valid.
My anxiety is triggered by my in-laws and I don't know how to let my boys visit and have a relationship with their grandparents without it causing huge emotional issues for me. I don't know how to repair it.
Ever since our neighbours moved in 3 months ago, I feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home. I try and spend as much time out of the house as possible and I dread returning home, I shake and feel physically sick at the thought. I have a 3 year old boy and try not to let it affect him but inevitably he knows something is up. We’re starting the process of moving house but it will take time and I am already broken by it. I miss the security of feeling ‘home’ that I used to have and massively resent my neighbours for taking that away. Thank you for reading, it helps to write it down ❤️
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I've been there, having your safe and sound home turn into a place you dread is a terrible and lonely feeling. Sending you hugs, love and strength
I always feel like everyone hates me and can't stand to speak to me - try to get away as fast as possible or avoid as much as possible. So I wonder what I may have done wrong. I ask and told I am paranoid and many love me and yet I am still lonely and no one ever calls or messages me. I try to always reach out to others and I don't want to just receive I want to give too but I'm always met with either one word answers or just ignored. It's hard, but I'm used to it by now. It happened before covid. *Sigh* I've just had to learn to be content with my own company. Just seems super easy for everyone else to have these amazing friendships and I don't. Just one friend would be amazing.
Rebecca I am so sorry to hear this. Some people naturally gravitate towards those who are givers - and this is what your friends have done, always assuming you will reach out first. It's so tiring being the person who does all the initiating and organising, I feel you! You are more important to them than you know, and your feelings are valid 💖
I understand this feeling completely. I always feel like the odd one out with some of my friends as I always feel like they have a better time when I'm not around and I feel so lonely sometimes. Sending you big hugs and you are amazing 💖 xxx
I'm having a hard time letting go the man I'm in love with. He is my best support and I've become a better person since I met him but we don't exactly share the same feelings and I'm finding it extremely difficult 😞
We are all doing great for surving and thriving just being here. I hear you all sending lots of love from up north for anyone who needs the extra right now
I’m exhausted with parenting my youngest son and petrified that schools will go virtual again. I love my child dearly, but need more time apart from him (which makes me feel guilty).
You don't need to feel guilty - I think many parents feel this way (I certainly do!). 🤞Schools don't close again for all of our sakes. Sorry you are tired. Being a parent can be wonderful and rubbish at the same time.
I've been feeling insignificant yet overwhelmed. I feel like I'm the one who does absolutely everything to keep my household and family functioning, but like none of it actually matters to anyone. I'm feeling totally unsupported. My husband tells me I don't ask for help, yet when I have asked for him to do a task for me he replies that he'll do it with me but not for me, which isn't actually lightening my load any. And he isn't hearing me when I tell him I'm floundering.
I'm torn between wanting to make plans to see loved ones and not wanting to get out of bed. In the last 6 months, I have quit a toxic job, worked in a restaurant over the summer, moved 3 times, re-entered the legal field (I'm a lawyer by training and education) and started a new job as a manager (I have a whole staff I am responsible for which is WILD). It's been a lot of change in a short period of time and I am struggling to hold space for both emotions simultaneously.
That is a LOT of change in such a short time. It’s no wonder you are struggling to hold space for all the emotions that come with it. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. *hug*
I feel overwhelmed. There's not enough time in the day. It's the holidays and I'm "meant" to feel festive...I don't. I feel mentally exhausted and let down. I want to cry but that act alone seems to selfish, besides I'm scared I'll never stop crying and bring everyone down with my mood. Thanks Guys...feels good to get that out xx
You’re not alone - I feel the same, especially about the crying. It’s okay to feel that way, take some time for yourself if you can - you deserve some peace.
You are not alone in that feeling. I hope you are able to find time for yourself to let it all out. It has always made me feel better, like a load of bricks being lifted. I hope you can feel that way after too.
And you're not going to bring people down. Your feelings are valid and NOT a burden!
If you never drink you probably don't have a problem. Focus on honouring yourself and your life ...you can't go wrong with the right attitude. I love you. Good luck friend 🤗
These thoughts are so common and so frustrating to navigate. We have all been there. I hope you are able to do soothing, grounding and calming activities that care for and honor your body so you can start to feel better and focus on what you can do rather than how you look and feel about it. Be kind to your body, you live there!
It’s okay to be fatigued and frustrated. Your feelings are valid, and I have been there. I’ve always found this is when my body is telling me to take a break and take care of myself, I hope this is something you’re able to do.
I like the guy my best friend likes and am trying to get over it but I talk to him and my friend gets annoyed at me it sounds like high school drama because it is and it sucks
A very wise person once told me that there is no "right" and "wrong" choices. We just make a choice and our lives evolve around them. Go easy on yourself in the figuring out 💜💜
I feel like I have been closed off from myself this year after some things that have happened--closed off to what I am feeling as if I know its there, but I cant or don't want to access it-- I just feel somewhat numb. its a new feeling for me and I don't want it anymore. I really want to feel again and, above all, finally feel/believe in my own worth this upcoming year--I really want to believe I can become "unstuck" and hope that this can happen.
Kat, I believe you are doing the best you can and that's all any of us can do.
I've experienced times like this in my life. And it sucked. If you don't mind me sharing what helped me through it.... I surrounded myself with a small tribe of friends and family who I could talk to, knowing they would listen and support me. That made ALL the difference.
And *I* believe in your worth and think you're doing great!
Your advice is very welcome Michele-I am really glad to know I’m not the only one and that there is an end in sight-my friendships have been struggling this year, so I think that is adding to it-but I really want to foster this community ❤️🥺thank you so much!
I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself that I don’t know how to get back. I miss her.
I hear you. Growth is also saying goodbye and it's tough.
I feel the same too, but she is still there. She's just developing into something more and stronger. I mourn (in a way) my old self. But I also wouldn't be who I am today without the struggles and challenges. Its ok to grieve that part of yourself but also remember how much good you have done. <3
I hear you. She’s still there. Xxx
That really resonated with me, and gaining those words to describe the feeling really helped ❤️ thank you! I hope we both reconnect with that part of ourselves, or grieve, or whatever comes next
I've had that feeling too. She is still there, she is just becoming stronger and growing through everything she has been through. Sending hugs xxx
❤️ it’s ok to miss who you used to be. But the you that you are now is super special too xx
I understand exactly what you mean…I don’t think she is “lost” though, only deeply hidden. I know one day you will find her again ❤️
Ok to grieve and feel lost. I feel you.
I don't know how I feel about my Dad. I have had issues with him all my life and right now it's uncertain if he and my Mom will get divorced. I wouldn't be sad if that happened. There are times he can get super mean and hurtful, and sometimes he will deny it if you call him on it. At least my Mom and I are there for each other. I don't know if he wants to do the work to keep our family together.
As a child of a very complicated on again off again relationship, I can tell you that your feelings are 100% valid and normal. I'm sending you so much love.
I can relate. Sending you hugs
I can relate, it's so difficult. Lots of love ❤️
You sound like a loving daughter and I hope your family gets the healing it needs.
That sounds frustrating and painful. 😥 It's okay if you don't like your dad. Hugs.
Im sorry to hear that , that must be really difficult and confrontation for an unnecessary stress etc is not what you need right now, its current days around the world in a pandemic is a big thing to cope with on top of life personal issues. You can get through anything, thinking of you
Same. Just same. I wish my parents had divorced would be better than all the pretentious lies.
My family was in a similar place 6 Christmases ago and it was so difficult. I can only imagine how hard this is for you.💛💛
That sounds tough. Family stuff is so hard
I'm in a similar boat and it really sucks!! Don't forget to take care of yourself amongst all of this, and give yourself permission to prioritise your own needs and feelings.
Sending much love, and remember, you will get through this! ❤
Im having issues with my dad and brother and it's so hard. our parents are already divorced, and i don't know if keeping them in my life is worth it when all they do is criticize me and bring me down and tell me i'm too much.
Feeling particularly lonely, and struggling to work through feelings surrounding intimate relationships this Christmas.
Sending you a massive virtual hug Ruth 💜💜
I feel you, Ruth. Take care of yourself.
Oh me too! It's hard AF sometimes right?? Be there for yourself ok!!! We love you💜
I hear you Ruth and am sending lots of love your way ❤️❤️
I feel you & see you Ruth. It is hard, but you've got this!
I feel this. Sending love ❤
I feel this. Take care of yourself - sending love ❤
Holding all of these spaces during the holidays is extremely challenging. Take care of YOU!
You’re not alone in this. Sending you (((hugs))) and memories from happier times.
I see you, thats hard. sending love
I see you and I hope you feel a little less lonely today <3
I’m just exhausted. I’ve known I’m an empath for years (hello veterinary medicine) but I feel like humans just suck me dry. Any time I have to be around other folxs I need at least a day to recover. I hate feeling like this. I feel like I’ve lost all my social skills.
That is really tough. As a fellow empath and introvert, I see you and I'm sending you support and love.
I feel for you. I absorb all the emotional energy around me too and it is exhausting.
I feels like that a lot
I hear you Cindy! Another fellow empath an introvert here. I think it is a social skill to be able to write about how you feel and to know when you need some alone time 💕
i’ve felt more like this during covid. it’s so exhausting!
I can really relate. It’s totally valid to need and use a day to recover and load your batteries. *virtual hugs*
I feel you. I often feel the same. Sending you a big, energising hug.
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night.
Me too! Next time that happens, remind yourself you're definitely not the only one 💜
Oh ladies, I can’t cry. I mean, I just can’t. I lost my dad earlier this year and still can’t cry. Probably because I won’t let myself? I am one to always hold all the business inside….Please feel free to let the tears flow. You are so brave to let it all hang out. Many hugs to all of you.
My tears didn’t come straight after my mum died - you will cry when you are ready x there is no right way to grieve…
Oh love, I hope the tears come when they need to xx
I do too sometimes! Be soft with yourself - sending you love ✨💕
I feel that. Hope you will be able to find peace, and hugs to you.
Me too. Sending hugs and love xx
I do too 💗 be kind to yourself and feel the feelings. X
Sending you so much love.
I used to as well I find reading your favorite book or watching some light Netflix helps
And wake up crying! ❤️
I'm sorry you feel that way💜
The holidays always trigger me for several reasons. Today I feel glad to be moving through it and hopeful for 2022 <3
Yes Wiley! Thank you for sharing the dark and the light. I'm hopeful for both of us 🥰
You have made such a positive impact on my life, Megan. Thank you <3 <3 <3
You aren't alone with this, and good for you on addressing your feelings 💜💜
Ditto Wiley! 💗
I hear you on this one, you’re doing so well ✨💕
This made me tear up. Hugs to you.
I feel this too and I'm hopeful for you (and me) for 2022 💙
I hear you and here’s to so many better things in 2022 xo
I get this Wiley--so proud of you for your honesty and glad that you feel like you are moving through it ❤️ sending love as you go into this new year!
I am feeling so much despair over the state of pandemic numbers and response in my community. It is getting so bad here and healthcare is collapsing and it feels like our government has abandoned us and I don't know what to do anymore.
I also feel like this. I bury my head in the sand with it as it blows my mind how detrimental to our country their decisions are! .. I could go in my soap box for days but when you scale it back its just a hard pill to swallow that its even came this far and has been accepted for so long 💔
I need to find a new hobby besides DoomScroll Twitter. Thank you for hearing me.
https://images.app.goo.gl/TgvckLjJmUXgHiwG8
https://images.app.goo.gl/enY4CLo22TLs2pJj8
Watching kittens' ears wiggle as they are bottle fed does cheer me up just a bit.
I totally hear you and feel the same.
I hear you. I am a teacher and watching others behave irresponsibly and having rules that are putting the economy before people is driving me mad. I can see we will probably moving back to weeks and weeks of online teaching and it feels so unfair.
I lost my gramma a few days before Christmas to Covid. I helped her decorate all the trees in her house, and I only decorated one this year after she went to heaven. She wanted silver and gold tree last year and bought all the supplies for it this year. I decorated it for her, but it was hard without her direction. She always knew how to decorate best. She raised me, stepped in as a mother figure when my mom left when I was 8, and was actively involved in my life from my beginning to her end. My soul is at peace knowing she’s no longer in pain, but my heart still aches for her.
Losing someone so close to you must be unbelievably difficult... It's ok to feel a complicated mixture of emotions. Grief is complicated. Sending you love and peace.
Your gramma sounded like a wonderful person! And you were a wonderful granddaughter to her too.
Sending you a huge hug Emily. Sounds like she was lucky to have you too, taking care to decorate her tree how she would like it. Xxxx
I am so sorry for your loss Emily--I lost my Oma this year too. sending love and prayers your way--I am so proud of you for remembering her in such a special way this year ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Living on without a loved one is really hard and I'm sending you many virtual hugs!
Grandmothers are so special. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
sending you love and hugs
Heart aches over here too. Sending love and light to you from me ♥️
Big hug ❤️
I wish society was as excited about a woman's career choices as it is about their relationships or pregnancy announcements. I'm taking time and money to become a licensed therapist on top of teaching secondary school and all I get to hear is "Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Same here. Hopefully my story brings a smile to your face but every time I visit my grandma she tells me "did you find a rich boyfriend to take care of you? You need to find a rich boyfriend". I always tell her "grandma I don't need a rich boyfriend. I'll become a rich woman", flip my hair and walk out the room in style 😁😁
proud of you and excited for your new career path!
I feel this too. It sucks to not get the same praise and recognition for career accomplishments. And you're such a badass! Both becoming a licensed therapist AND teaching secondary school?!! I celebrate you and all that you are doing!
I just wanted to let you know you are badass!
That must be so frustrating, you are doing awesome!!
I‘m 35, and no one will ever love me, and it sucks so bad.
I'm wishing you all the love you deserve to feel. And I'm sending you some right now 💜
You are lovable and deserving of love.
I understand. I am 43...but I know someone will love me...but they must be the right person. A person that treats me well and is compatible 🌟💜
I'm sure you're a kind and lovely person. Finding the right person to share your life with can take time. My wife was 34 when we met and we both used to think we were somehow to difficult to be loved. You'll be alright <3
my great aunt married at 67 ♥️
You can love yourself. I am semi old, lol, and have been alone for almost 30 years. Not just living alone, but I’m an introvert and stay away from gatherings. I am shy, have anxiety, but feel like I’m living my best life. You do deserve love: love your eyes, the way your lips turn up as you smile, the silly way your hair pokes up when you wake in the morning. All of that is loving yourself for who you are. Big hugs, we are here, loving you, if you need to chat!
I hear you. But maybe you feel like you can’t be loved because you can’t love yourself
:(
yep, I'm 36 and right there with you (edit: I mean, right there with you in feeling that feeling)
You deserve love, including from yourself to yourself !
I'm 34 and have never been on a date and am worried that my life is pretty much over. I'm still dealing with a diagnosis of Type 2 diabetes. Looking at photos of myself from Christmas, part of me still thinks I look so hideous I wonder why or if any of my family could ever love me, let alone a significant other. The path forward in my life right now feels so murky and depressing. I am aware weight is not the end-all, be-all of health, but I realized I am still struggling to accept my body may never be smaller than it is now. I'm very depressed about my lack of money and physical fitness. It feels like even the smallest joyful movement things are hard for me, and I want to give up because I just don't see anything getting better anytime soon. I am just so exhausted. All of my goals feel out of reach, or very scary.
This is so relatable. We all have times when it feels easier to give up. Please remember your body is your home and be kind to yourself. I think it would be lovely if you took yourself on a date - treat yourself to whatever feels good to you. Also focusing on weight and fitness instead of health and wellness is easy to do, but just stretching and movement are great ways to care for your body. Best wishes with your diagnosis - I hope the new information helps you to better understand and care for your body
We as women are raised to believe that our self-worth is based on how we look and when we don't achieve a beauty standard that is cooked up by some man, we feel like failures. You are not a failure. You are so much more than an idea of beauty. Write down what you're good at, walk outside and take a deep breath because despite all of the social constructs that are made to keep us women down, you are here. You are alive and you are an exceptional being. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. And stop following Instagram accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. Start following more women like Megan. I cannot tell you how wonderful you and that body of yours has got you here. Be kind to her.
I feel you, and feel the same sometimes. You are loved, you are enough. Bodies are hard to deal with. You’re not alone ❤️
I see you Sam. Like you said looks aren't everything but the picture I see of you I immediately noticed you have a beautiful full lip shape, nicely shaped and thick eyebrows, lovely big eyes, and gorgeous brunette hair (look at those curls!).
Things will get better, even if you can't see that right now. Everything in life is always changing. Sending you loving healing energy. You're a warrior!
I just realized that discovering my mom’s affair when I was a teenager left me with sexual & emotional trauma I am now dealing with years later. I resent her for it but I also still love her, it has been so hard to deal when seeing my family over the holidays and it’s affecting my relationship with my fiancé. It feels so unfair.
I hear you, Maddie. I discovered similar and your words are familiar to me. It absolutely is unfair.
That sounds extremely difficult to navigate. Huge props to you for recognizing the root of the trauma so you can start to move forward in processing it and getting to a healthier place with yourself and family. Best wishes to you and your fiancé!
SO unfair. super understandable to be feeling the way you are
This is SO valid. what a complicated, weird, hard thing for a teenager to have to deal with. So much love to you and your younger self ❤️
My grandmother died last weekend. She was cold and controlling, and I don't miss her at all, and I'm tired of trying to act like I'm sad when people express their condolences.
Feelings (or lack of feelings) aren't wrong or right - they just are. Sending love x
I felt similarly after my difficult grandmother passed. There’s no “right” way to feel, and you’re doing great ❤️
Whatever you feel right now is ok. And whatever you feel next week is ok. Your feelings are yours and no one can change them or take them away. Xx
You are allowed to feel whatever feelings you are feeling. They are not wrong. Family stuff is complicated.
your feelings are validated
I am exhausted constantly. The doctors say there is nothing wrong with me and seem to dismiss me because I am on mental health medications. They always want to blame my mental health. I have grown to mistrust doctors after several misdiagnosis and in general them ignoring my symptoms. It seems that I can't find anyone I trust.
There is a proven bias against women in the medical and pharmaceutical trades. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it. I wish I could give you some of my spoons while you keep trying.
Just because doctors can't diagnose it accurately doesn't mean your pain isn't real. I hear you!
Doctors are human too so they make mistakes just like anyone else. Don’t give up on yourself. Keep advocating for your needs while still searching for a doctor who’s willing to listen. Good luck!
I can definitely relate to this. All I can say is please don't give up trying to find the right help for you.
I hear you. Trust yourself. Lots of love and strength ❤️
You can trust us. We see you and we know you're not crazy... keep shining 🌟
I hear you, as a fellow person with mental illnesses and physical disabilities.
I miss my Mom a little more during the Holidays ♥️
Sending you the warmest hugs Kathryn 💜
It’s so hard especially this time of year when we’re apart from loved ones. Sending you (((hugs))).
That is 100% normal ❤️ I’m sure she’s been watching over you and enjoying the holidays with you…they never truly leave you they’re always around x
I'm sorry 💜💜💜
(((hugs))) if you want them
I feel sad and overwhelmed, my son might have autism and I'm trying to get him the help he needs.
I also feel depressed because I never have time for myself because I'm always being "mom" or taking care of my parents. I am lonely and don't know how to even make new friends.
You are definitely not alone. Advocating and getting proper care for a child is hard work, made harder by These Unprecedented Times. Sending hugs and love from one Neurodivergent Mum to another.
Thank you 💓
Sending you a big hug. You are not alone, I promise. There are families through the NSA support network (mentioned by Sarah) who I know would welcome you with open arms.
Thank you Soph!
I see you. ❤️
💞
Have you a local National Autistic Society (NAS) support group? In my area there is a Facebook support group for parents with a child with a diagnosis and/or waiting. I have found it useful is what felt a very unsettling time for me (we are still waiting for our assessment).
Thank you for the resource! I've never heard of that but I'll check into it. 💜
You are not alone. I can definitely relate. Sending hugs!
Thank you Sherry 💓
I'm not really used to having free time anymore, so not working during the holidays has mostly made me anxious and stuff I worry about is growing out of proportion in my head.
Ahh Nathalie, this is so hard - I hear you. I signed up for a tonne of freelance work on December 23rd for this exact reason! But slowly learning how to enjoy switching off. I hope you find some peace and rest 💖
Oof, saaaaaame. i also get so in my head and extra anxious when I have too much free time. it's tough, and you are definitely not alone in this ❤️ sending big hugs
Omg I do this too!! I was telling my partner that I need to find a job to do over the holidays so I don’t get anxious over nothing. I feel you! ❤️❤️
Devastating, don't let the world get ya down ok... everything will be alright 🤗
I feel you. Sending you love and peace. I hope you find your way through it all.
Feeling incredibly overwhelmed by how little we can actually do about climate change, without our government getting their shit together. Sometimes saving for nice things, planning for the future and working towards goals feels completely pointless, because the world will sink.
Oh my god same. I think about this constantly and it's such an infuriating/devastating/completely unnecessary situation. I hear you. ❤️
It's so hard and helpless isn't it. All we can do is our bit xx
I feel exactly the same. Just yesterday I was crying about it, and it's so frustrating that you cannot even tell yourself "it's gonna be okay" because (as far as I've seen till now) not enough is being done by world leaders. However, I know that if I get too overwhelmed I won't be able to help at all. My usual escape is to numb with happy movies or cute puppy videos, but I would love to find a middle ground between numbness and anxiety.
Thank you so much! I'm going for Disney today. Hope you find some peace too x
I did find some peace today! I went to see the beautiful ocean and enjoyed the fresh air ❤ I hope you are feeling better too xx
I completely understand this feeling. All we can do is enjoy the little things the world gives to us and hope for a better future <3
I feel you on this. I feel this way too ❤️
Your feelings are valid!
Ouch, I feel you. Sending so much love to that part that feels pointless, and really hoping that amidst the shit there are some tiny moments of beauty ❤️
Thank you Dinah!! Today it's a cup of tea in bed. The small stuff can be big 🥰
I feel ya!
I have just been feeling so empty lately. I do my job during the day and then in the evenings I don't have energy to do anything fun or productive. I don't feel like eating, I just want to lay in bed but then when it's time to go to sleep I am procrastinating. Just don't really know what I am living for at the moment.
oh goodness ilse, i hear this. i'm so sorry you're feeling this way. i hope you can find some gentle compassion for yourself. i'm sending you lots of warm hugs ❤️
You’re not alone. It’s okay to feel this way. Reach out for support ❤️
It's okay not to be okay. You are not alone in this feeling 😘
You're not alone. Life is tough right now so don't berate yourself for having low energy. It will get better ❤️
I sometimes just want to go away and do nothing. No work, no parenting, no housework just disappear.
I feel you. Do it! Book a week away - you deserve it! ❤️
Right there with you!
I hear you. This is also me at the moment. Any time I feel my cup filling a little, there seems to be something that knocks over my cup and I am back at square one.
I completely relate. You're not alone 💜
I hear you 1000% Stacey.
It's just so much allllll the time right?? X
My partner and best friend has been told today he isn't eligible for the visa that would let him stay living with me so we're processing a lot and looking at a long time living apart, and I'm furious with the unfairness of immigration and also devastated at the thought of having to live on separate continents again. I know we're not the only couple pushed apart by immigration rules but it hurts a lot.
This sounds so hard to deal with. Your feelings are valid - I hope you guys manage to find a way to live together ❤️
Whooa that's not fair!! Goodluck🌟
I’m so sorry, this sounds devastating. Myself and my partner are from different countries and I’d be lost if this happened to us. It’s so unfair this is allowed to happen. I hope you guys can overcome this and find a solution 💜
I'm sorry. This is just rubbish news.
I’m really bummed about not being able to go to the Christmas market this year. My partner and I went every year pre-Covid and it was kind of our thing. I was kind of hoping things would be normal enough this year to go, but due to my immune condition, I just can’t risk it :(
I feel you - I also have an immune condition - these are scary times. Keep a list of what you want to do next year ❤️
I hear ya...sounds difficult
I’m pregnant with my first baby. And I want to be excited but I’m just not. Everyone else is. I’m worried about who I’m going to become and how I will change.
Becoming a parent is hard and it's okay (and logical!) to be worried or scared. I'm sending love your way and hope you can be patient and gentle with yourself 💜
Pregnancy can be a major mind f*ck and it’s totally normal to feel what you’re feeling. I wasn’t mind-ready until almost birth with both of my kids. They don’t come with an instruction manual. You do change and in ways you’d never expect, but I wouldn’t give up the experience for anything. My babies are in their early 30s and the humans they have become are amazing.
I feel super angry at the world right now. The way capitalism tells us lies and destroys us. I feel hopeless about it at times and powerless mostly. It feels like a lot and I want to do something, I just don‘t know where to start.
I feel you, and feel the same about this. I don’t know what to do about it either, but I hope knowing you’re not alone helps ❤️
I feel you, I hear you. I think that feeling your emotions and knowing you want to do something are two pretty awesome achievements, regardless of what happens in the future.
I'm French, my husband is Japanese and we live in France. We've had to cancel our trip back to Japan for the 4th time in a year because of Covid restrictions. My in-laws are elders and I'm so scared something would happen to them and my husband could not even be there (or would have to go alone). I had to explain to my 3 year old why we were canceling again and she's so sad. My husband doesn't say anything but I know he's heartbroken. I'm heartbroken too. it feels like we will never be able to spend time there with our loved ones again.
I totally understand. I haven’t seen my grandparents in 2.5 years due to Covid. I’m scared just like you that something will happen to them.
It must be so difficult trying to explain to a child why these things are happening. You carry such a big burden in your shoulders, please try to remember that none of this is your fault and you are doing the best you possibly can. Hugs and strength to all of you❤️
It’s so tough, this has been a really long haul. I’m sure they know you love them even if you can’t be there in person. Sending you love and strength ❤️
Feeling myself slipping into disordered thinking about my size this time of year. Not sure why or how to fix it 😕
I'm right there with ya sister. Try and stay away from advertising and too much media...they are not reality xx
Hey same!! It's really hard to fight off, isn't it! Love to be soaking in the poisonous marinade of diet culture all our lives!! But we're going to get through it, both of us and everyone else who is too.
@camille thank you for the reminder 🙏🙂
Struggling to with the fact that I have to head back to drama school in a week and I don't want to leave my family. I have great friends there but by the same token I often feel like I don't fit in and I've felt the lowest I've felt in years while I've been there and I don't want to feel like that again. Grieving my Granny too and all the people I've lost in the past few years. It all just feels a bit too much!
That's a lot to deal with. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it 💖
That sounds really hard to deal with. With everything going on, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s been a hard few years and it’s so hard to leave people we love ❤️❤️ Sending you strength
For the first time since the beginning of the pandemic, I am feeling frightened and worried. The huge spike in case numbers has me concerned for the future, and how we will all get through it. I visited home over Christmas but have spent the whole time in a state of panic about being able to get back to where I live and work.
What makes me the saddest is that this may just be our reality now.
I have been feeling the same way! It’s really scary right now and I understand the anxiety. For me it helps a little to focus on what I can do to protect my household and share information with others - I help with vaccination clinics and have gotten to talk to people and ease their fears so they get the shot. I hope you were able to enjoy the visit and relax at least a little, sending you warm fuzzies and socially distanced virtual hugs!
I totally feel this. It feels so big. Sending you big hugs ❤️
Sending love and a massive virtual hug. 💞
I was very hopeful to see my brother, who used to be my most important person until that relationship was shattered quite a few years ago (with a death threat and nightmares about him killing our parents at the height of it) and maybe start rebuilding things, but when I saw him in person again I had such a strong anxiety reaction (that my therapist helped me identify as likely ptsd) that I could hardly look at him or talk to him the whole time he was here even though I was the one who worked so hard over the phone to convince him to come. I was just panicked and we didn't even hug. I can't stop crying now because I'm so scared that I hurt him and made him sad by rejecting him and I feel like a complete piece of shit and paired with depression and loneliness and the state of the world I really don't want to live anymore. I fucking miss my brother and I hate myself.
Family can be so complicated.
ALL of your feelings are valid and reasonable and true (except the part about you feeling bad about yourself. That is not reasonable, because you are doing your best, and letting yourself feel your feelings and that is brave and awesome) *hugs*
Your feelings are completely valid. You are allowed to feel whatever you do without feeling like shit. You're doing so well x
i'm so so sorry ❤️ everything you're experiencing is so valid and human. ptsd changes your nervous system, and none of this is your fault. sending you so much love.
I feel like I have so much more potential and so much more to offer, but I need more time and money to explore (to study, for example) and I don't have that. I need to ask my husband and others for support and that's scary. It's easier to let everything stay the same, everything is going fine right now. But I want more.
This is so beautiful! We are hard wired as humans for wanting more, and it sounds like you’re ready to make some moves towards a more fulfilling future. It’s always scary to ask for help, and also totally worth it if you can get closer to realizing your potential. Best wishes to you!
How frustrating for you. I believe in you!
Asking for help is so hard but you deserve it. Take the leap. You deserve more ❤️
Trust your gut and start small, you can do it and you deserve this !
Asking for help can be hard! But if you never try, you’ll never know. Sounds like you’re on the edge of something great 💚
I may have given my whole family COVID 19 for Christmas and I am scared it will spread to my grandma who is in the hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.
Covid is highly contagious, likely your family would have got it from someone else...not just you. I'm sorry you feel guilty 🤗
That must be difficult and scary. Lots of love and health for you and your family ❤️
That sounds really hard and heavy. Hoping things work out for the best ❤️
I hear you, times are scary right now. Wishing you and your family a speedy recovery 🙏
Navigating a chronic health condition (hEDS and fibromyalgia, and their concurrent challenges) during the darkest, coldest, and holiday-est time of the year is beyond challenging. Some days, I want to just give up.
I'm so sorry to hear that Cara! That sounds so difficult. Please don't give up - we're all glad you're here. Sending love x
oh cara, I feel this so much ❤️ i also struggle with chronic pain (and struggle with holidays/winter/dark cold weather), and i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time with it. please don't give up. i'm here with you.
It’s so hard. I have the same problem with my rheumatoid/PTSD (except it’s hot here). People who aren’t in the same boat don’t get it - but I hear you. Look after yourself first ❤️
This is legit hard. You are heard. Don’t give up.
Sending love, darling ❤️
I am desperately wrestling between self loathing and self acceptance.
You’re amazing for fighting. Keep fighting - the changes are small, but they’re happening. You are not alone ❤️
Know you're not alone. Even though it may feel like an endless journey, every breath you take is a new opportunity to try starting to accept yourself even a little. You are wonderful and worthy of love ❤️
I have been depressed & on a sick leave from uni for almost a year now. I feel like I have ruined my chances to succeed in life and have a career by being too weak to continue with my responsibilities.
I'm so proud of you for choosing to rest, listen to your body and take time out now, instead of pushing through. Sending you a big hug.
Thank you for your words and showing me your support ❤️
I don't know if this helps at all, but 12 years ago, I completely fell apart and left a prestigious PhD program and just struggled to... exist... for a few years after that. I was suicidal for a bit, severely depressed for a bit, paralyzed by PTSD for a bit, etc. Part-time work, falling more into debt every day. I just felt so totally stuck, like I was treading water in a swamp. Now my life is much better (well-paying job I love, etc.), and when I look back at that period I see that I was actually doggy-paddling in a direction I wanted to go, even if it didn't feel like it, and I'm so glad I made it through that hell and out the other side.
If that helps, I'm glad, but if not, just know that I'm sending you good thoughts!
Thank you so much for sharing this. The thought that all this will eventually affect in a way that I will end up in a meant-to-be kind of situation, is so consoling and encouraging. You taking the time to remind me of that means a lot ❤️
You are not weak. You have not ruined your chances to succeed. Being smart enough to take time off when you’re struggling is a massive sign of success. You WILL get there. Sending you love ❤️❤️
This is a point of view I easily forget. Thank you for reminding and encouraging me ❤️
Taking time to rest, heal and cope with depression/illness is not weak - it shows strength and maturity. <3 School, career, and similar opportunities will all be waiting and ready for you when you feel better.
Thank you for this reminder, I get easily so anxious about everything having to happen right away, and the idea that education etc is like the most important accomplishment in life. Your words mean a lot to me ❤️
My best friend from childhood recently “broke up with me” via text message, saying we grew apart and have became different people. It’s been a massive change in dynamics this year for me.. I’ve questioned all my life choices and what I have done in my life for this to get to this point. It’s broken my heart ten times over and this Christmas has been particularly hard moving forward doing things without my old friendship group.. I’m lucky to have a strong family and fiancé but without this strong support group I feel I’d be in the depths of depression; I feel I’ve lost a massive part of my identity.. yet also feel relief I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations - which again, also brings guilt. So many emotions I’m trying to figure out.. I hope it works itself out. Third world problems (I know!) but still a huge loss - I feel I’m grieving an old life and friend at the same time. 💔
My best friend broke up with me a few months ago and it still hurts so bad. Our society doesn't seem to value friendship very much, but they can be such an important part of our lives. I'm so sorry (and also happy for your relief from expectations)
*hugs*
Just because you’re going separate ways now doesn’t mean that your relationship wasn’t meaningful in the past ❤️
Thank you 💞 I feel it was meaningful to me but hurts that it wasn’t as meaningful to her when she has made such a strong decision 💔
It’s ok to grieve the loss of a friendship and your old life ❤️
Lauren I hear you--this is so hard. I feel like all my friendships have been uprooted this year as well, with some nearing their ends and it is so hard ❤️ I am sending so much love to you. Please know it is okay to feel relief at the loss of this friendship as you live into this new person you are becoming -- I see you and this emotion is so valid.
That sounds so hard. Your feelings are completely valid - friendship breakups are even harder than relationship breakups.
My anxiety is triggered by my in-laws and I don't know how to let my boys visit and have a relationship with their grandparents without it causing huge emotional issues for me. I don't know how to repair it.
Family can be really tough and it’s so stressful this time of year. Hang in there ❤️
I hear you. Be kind and true to yourself. Love and wisdom ❤️
Ever since our neighbours moved in 3 months ago, I feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home. I try and spend as much time out of the house as possible and I dread returning home, I shake and feel physically sick at the thought. I have a 3 year old boy and try not to let it affect him but inevitably he knows something is up. We’re starting the process of moving house but it will take time and I am already broken by it. I miss the security of feeling ‘home’ that I used to have and massively resent my neighbours for taking that away. Thank you for reading, it helps to write it down ❤️
So sorry to hear this Louise, everyone deserves a home that feels like a safe space. It will get better 💖
Thank you for your kind words and helping me feel heard. Wishing you an amazing new year! 💖
Sending you lots of love, I really hope you find happiness and security in your new home 💖💖
Thank you, that means a lot. Wishing you all the happiness in the world too ❤️
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I've been there, having your safe and sound home turn into a place you dread is a terrible and lonely feeling. Sending you hugs, love and strength
Thank you for your kindness and understanding. Sorry that you’ve been there too. Sending love back ❤️
Thank you for your kind words, sending love back ❤️
I always feel like everyone hates me and can't stand to speak to me - try to get away as fast as possible or avoid as much as possible. So I wonder what I may have done wrong. I ask and told I am paranoid and many love me and yet I am still lonely and no one ever calls or messages me. I try to always reach out to others and I don't want to just receive I want to give too but I'm always met with either one word answers or just ignored. It's hard, but I'm used to it by now. It happened before covid. *Sigh* I've just had to learn to be content with my own company. Just seems super easy for everyone else to have these amazing friendships and I don't. Just one friend would be amazing.
Rebecca I am so sorry to hear this. Some people naturally gravitate towards those who are givers - and this is what your friends have done, always assuming you will reach out first. It's so tiring being the person who does all the initiating and organising, I feel you! You are more important to them than you know, and your feelings are valid 💖
I understand this feeling completely. I always feel like the odd one out with some of my friends as I always feel like they have a better time when I'm not around and I feel so lonely sometimes. Sending you big hugs and you are amazing 💖 xxx
I hear you ❤️ It’s lonely feeling invisible
I'm having a hard time letting go the man I'm in love with. He is my best support and I've become a better person since I met him but we don't exactly share the same feelings and I'm finding it extremely difficult 😞
It’s so hard when feelings aren’t reciprocated. It’s okay to find that super difficult. ❤️❤️
Sounds confusing and hard. x
We are all doing great for surving and thriving just being here. I hear you all sending lots of love from up north for anyone who needs the extra right now
I’m exhausted with parenting my youngest son and petrified that schools will go virtual again. I love my child dearly, but need more time apart from him (which makes me feel guilty).
You don't need to feel guilty - I think many parents feel this way (I certainly do!). 🤞Schools don't close again for all of our sakes. Sorry you are tired. Being a parent can be wonderful and rubbish at the same time.
Yes…I often tell people that become a parent was both the best and worst thing that happened to me.
So very relatable. Sending you love and strength ❤️
Thank you ❤️
I've been feeling insignificant yet overwhelmed. I feel like I'm the one who does absolutely everything to keep my household and family functioning, but like none of it actually matters to anyone. I'm feeling totally unsupported. My husband tells me I don't ask for help, yet when I have asked for him to do a task for me he replies that he'll do it with me but not for me, which isn't actually lightening my load any. And he isn't hearing me when I tell him I'm floundering.
I’m so sorry your feeling unsupported. You are doing amazing things. You matter ❤️❤️
I'm sorry your husband isn't hearing you. You deserve support and help when you need it ❤️
I see you. You matter. ❤️
You definitely aren’t insignificant. You matter because of who you are.
Hi Sherry, I am sorry this is happening. It sounds inordinately frustrating. Fingers crossed for you it gets better soon.
I'm torn between wanting to make plans to see loved ones and not wanting to get out of bed. In the last 6 months, I have quit a toxic job, worked in a restaurant over the summer, moved 3 times, re-entered the legal field (I'm a lawyer by training and education) and started a new job as a manager (I have a whole staff I am responsible for which is WILD). It's been a lot of change in a short period of time and I am struggling to hold space for both emotions simultaneously.
That is a LOT of change in such a short time. It’s no wonder you are struggling to hold space for all the emotions that come with it. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. *hug*
I feel overwhelmed. There's not enough time in the day. It's the holidays and I'm "meant" to feel festive...I don't. I feel mentally exhausted and let down. I want to cry but that act alone seems to selfish, besides I'm scared I'll never stop crying and bring everyone down with my mood. Thanks Guys...feels good to get that out xx
You’re not alone - I feel the same, especially about the crying. It’s okay to feel that way, take some time for yourself if you can - you deserve some peace.
You are not alone in that feeling. I hope you are able to find time for yourself to let it all out. It has always made me feel better, like a load of bricks being lifted. I hope you can feel that way after too.
And you're not going to bring people down. Your feelings are valid and NOT a burden!
You are so kind Kelz💜🌟🌻🌈🤸
I’m embarrassed because I may have drank too much at a family Christmas party and I’m obsessing over it.
That must feel horrible. Either 1). Get help or 2). Don't worry about it
Yeah, I never drink which is why I think I drank too much. But you’re right, no use in stressing about it now!
If you never drink you probably don't have a problem. Focus on honouring yourself and your life ...you can't go wrong with the right attitude. I love you. Good luck friend 🤗
Thank you, this is so helpful I appreciate it ❤️
Very familiar with that feeling, and it sucks.
I understand that feeling.
I feel so suffocated with my body image. I can’t enjoy anything at the minute and I can’t stop this downwards spiral
Your body takes you from A to B, heals you when you’re sick, take care of it and it will take care of you, no matter what shape or size.
It sux aye!?! Do one of Megan's 1 minute meditations they are like magic!
These thoughts are so common and so frustrating to navigate. We have all been there. I hope you are able to do soothing, grounding and calming activities that care for and honor your body so you can start to feel better and focus on what you can do rather than how you look and feel about it. Be kind to your body, you live there!
I feel a little frustrated and fatigued and trying hard not to beat myself up
It’s okay to be fatigued and frustrated. Your feelings are valid, and I have been there. I’ve always found this is when my body is telling me to take a break and take care of myself, I hope this is something you’re able to do.
So sorry 🌟💜
I hear you🧡
Give yourself a break once in a while do what you like
I like the guy my best friend likes and am trying to get over it but I talk to him and my friend gets annoyed at me it sounds like high school drama because it is and it sucks
Ugh this sucks. I hope you can all figure out the situation with as much care for each other as possible 💜
I hear you. I understand how it feels like high school drama! Take it one day at a time ❤️
I’m stuck between following my heart and following my head. Is it possible to be in love with one person and only love the other? I’m so stuck 🥺
A very wise person once told me that there is no "right" and "wrong" choices. We just make a choice and our lives evolve around them. Go easy on yourself in the figuring out 💜💜
Give yourself time. You’ll figure it out. ❤️
I feel like I have been closed off from myself this year after some things that have happened--closed off to what I am feeling as if I know its there, but I cant or don't want to access it-- I just feel somewhat numb. its a new feeling for me and I don't want it anymore. I really want to feel again and, above all, finally feel/believe in my own worth this upcoming year--I really want to believe I can become "unstuck" and hope that this can happen.
Kat, I believe you are doing the best you can and that's all any of us can do.
I've experienced times like this in my life. And it sucked. If you don't mind me sharing what helped me through it.... I surrounded myself with a small tribe of friends and family who I could talk to, knowing they would listen and support me. That made ALL the difference.
And *I* believe in your worth and think you're doing great!
Your advice is very welcome Michele-I am really glad to know I’m not the only one and that there is an end in sight-my friendships have been struggling this year, so I think that is adding to it-but I really want to foster this community ❤️🥺thank you so much!