It’s so wonderful to see the way that you are able (even in hindsight) at what good has taken place for you despite the big sads that you’ve been navigating!! Here’s hoping next month your brain feels more present and happy and less sad💜 As for me, I have had a rollercoaster of a month that has ended, like all good stories, with a happy ending 😁 I am receiving weekly ketamine infusions and they have turned my depression around and left me feeling…balanced and much lighter!! What a success! In addition, I had the trial run for a new spinal cord device to help the chronic pain from my rare kidney disease and it went swimmingly!! The device will now be permanently implanted along my spinal cord with a battery (doesn’t even need to be charged!) implanted in my hip. I use an iPod to control the strength of the signal to my kidneys and my pain level is SIGNIFICANTLY less!!!! This is a game changer for me and I can’t accurately describe the joy, relief, and hope that this brings to me. I now will be able to accept a volunteer position as a confidential sexual violence advocate, which I inquired about after being raped in January. Not to gloss over the assault, but let’s not give it more attention than it needs. In addition to the volunteer spot, I’ve got a job for the fall answering the 988 hotline which is a mental health crisis line here in the USA. I am beyond excited to use one of my talents (talking lol) and work with one of my passions (mental health) to do my favorite thing in earth (help others!!!!). Again, the idea that I would be able to do these things a year ago would have been laughable. I have struggled through incredible physical and mental pain since my diagnosis and having to go on disability and give up my beloved career. But now I am carving out a new niche for myself and it feels like life is just all around more exciting, with possibilities I never thought would be. So that’s my May and I now look forward to an exciting pride month. As an ally I enjoy wearing all of my rainbow gear and my unity shirts and enjoying the conversations that are sparked by my wardrobe! I will have my permanent implant this month and the sky is the limit after that. This is a monumental time for me and I’m trying to stay as present as possible but I can’t help having my mind in the future and all the things I may be able to do now that I won’t be in constant severe pain amen now that my depression is under control with the ketamine treatments. Thank you for always reminding your readers to look for the good in everything as I am happy to dm right now but more importantly, I’m able to do it when things are rough. The good news and bad news is everything is temporary, no? Sending much love to all💜💜💜💜💜
Rachel this comment brought tears to my eyes!! I am so so pleased for you - you deserve this SO much and the fact that the thing you're most excited for is being able to go out and help others speaks VOLUMES about who you are and your character. We need more people like you 💖 I hope you soak up every bit of joy and possibility these new developments bring, I'm so happy for you 💖💖
I love that you don't brush over the hard parts in your updates. It makes me sad, that you're experiencing them, but it's also helpful to have a somewhat realisitc glimpse into someone's life.
Isn't it crazy how fast the brain can snap into a hurtful mode sometimes? I've been going to therapy for years and years and still in my better moments, I can hardly catch myself when I'm not being nice to myself. It just goes to show, that it's a constant practice, being gentle with oneself.
I am two weeks past breakup and still struggling to fathom the fact. But I try to give myself all the time I need to sit in this discomfort. It's a time full of ambivalences for sure.. I want to get better but I also don't want to be happy without him. Ugh.
Sending you big love in the ambivalence Leno! There are no right or wrongs in this time, feel what you need to feel and do what to you need to do, let it all pass through 💖💖
So thrilled that you found a happier place in that brain of yours this month... You do seem to have a world full of exceptional friends and how lucky you are for that. Smack dab in the sixth week of my new job. I caught covid which is a rotten thing to have when you have absolutely no sick leave and you are under a deadline. Thankfully my co-workers were helpful and got things finished for me and I've been home resting for 3 days. I haven't had covid since December 2020. It's a s***** now as it was then. So here's to all of us having a better month of June... I wish you and everyone who reads your newsletter a month full of peace and joy and health... Mostly health!
Megan, with all the ups and downs that you experienced in the past month, I love that you were able to pull yourself out of it and still enjoy some beautiful moments. Whenever you are in the deep sads, it may help to know how much you have made a difference in the lives of people who follow you.
𝘼 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙔𝙊𝙐: (thank you!)
💗Be kind to your body and yourself
💗Appreciate the joy in simple pleasures
💗Celebrate your victories, (no matter how small!)
💗Keep. Moving. Forward. One minute or hour or day at a time
💗It’s okay to have bad or overwhelming days, every setback is an opportunity for growth
💗Healing is not linear
💗Ask for help when you need it
As for me, I had a few really cool things happen in May. An IG influencer I follow bought a few of my platters/plates on Etsy and shared them to her stories. I had a huge boost in sales and followers! It happened organically, so that was even better! I met a chef who is interested in some of my designs for his restaurant at the beach. That would be my 3rd restaurant if it works out! And last, but not least, I had an IG reel that went viral (56.4k views) and brought even more traffic to my account. Growing my little Etsy business, planting seeds one at a time. Grateful 💗
Hoping your June brings more joy and less challenge. 🌞
Woohoo! That is great news Michele, and so cool about the restaurants! Well done for celebrating the wins and following your creative heart, as always 💖 thank you for the very generous reminders as well 🤗 when I'm in the deep sads I definitely struggle to hold onto anything good I might have done for other people or the world, everything just feels not enough and the brain is very good at erasing evidence to the contrary! Thank you for always being here with kindness and support - actually i was thinking I hadn't seen you for a couple of months and was hoping you were okay! Glad you are and I hope the buzz continues 😘 remind us of your Instagram handle? 💖
That is SO wonderful that your work is catching the eye of people who can help grow your business. That’s beautiful to hear! Wishing you continued success <3
Love reading about your ups and downs. I’ve been on the body image roller coaster this month as well as navigating some bullying issues my son is having at school ☹️ so it’s been a weird month for me too. But also celebrated my son’s 9th birthday and took a trip to the seaside and the forest so it’s been adventurous, but odd… anyway, I appreciate you keeping it real. X
Happy belated birthday to the little one! Sounds like a lovely adventure was had 🤗 it sucks that the body image demons tried to crawl in and steal your mind away - but very understandable in the world we live in and all the ways it's constantly telling us we aren't enough. Is it just me or are beauty standards really tightening their grip lately?? Anyway, I know you can move through the thoughts which gentle curiosity and grace towards your body. You are more than enough as you are 💖
This sounds tough. I hope that your body image gets easier and that the bullying issues stop soon, do you have someone to help with it? You are strong and can do this 💪 ❤️
Sorry it's been a few letters since I commented, but I have been reading along as always and truly look forward to updates. 🙏
It sounds like a lovely month indeed ✨ I can totally relate to good times getting overshadowed by bad brain moments, but what's important is to stay present, especially in those positive experiences (easier said than done, mindfulness practices do help though.)
Speaking of, today is one of those for me! My birthday ☺️
I'm taking a much needed week off of work to staycation, rejuvenate, and spend time getting outside and into nature. I started my birthday vacation with a spa day with my best girl friends (google Glen Ivy if you're curious, it's basically a hot spring adult theme park style spa wonderland). Then yesterday I went to support a friend at her queer choir fundraiser concert. And today I'm going to walk around Huntington Gardens, which I've never been to and always wanted to see.
I'm grateful to be in this place now, but it's been a challenging few months. Between really challenging work stuff, relationship hurdles, and health concerns, it's sometimes easy to give into hopelessness. But these are all moments that inform our growth and without the tougher moments we'd have no comparison to be able to appreciate the good ones.
I love this update Samantha! And this sounds like a perfect staycation week - self care, friends and nature, just perfect 💖🌱 happy belated birthday and well bloody done on making it another trip round the sun 😘 I hope you feel super restored after this week and ready to take on the challenging stuff, you've got this 💪🏽💖
Noooo not the page refresh! 😅 Thank you re-typing!! Thank you so much for these lovely well wishes and all the purple heart kindness! 💜 Love that your daughter surprised you, maybe you could surprise her back and then that's a trip in itself! Sending love and hugs 💜💜
Thank you Megan for another fabulous, uplifting, and very real newsletter. It was so lovely to see all of the amazing moments that you've had, and also powerful to hear you share about how sometimes the brain be brainin in spite of what's happening externally. Thank you also to others in these comments for sharing what they've learn from Megan and what they're working through. This collective space is so beautiful.
Unfortunately, the struggle has been REAL on my end. I am a central organizer with my University's Free Pal encampment, and it's been heavy. As a crip queer (someone with disability, and who is a member of the queer community) I've really had to work to avoid burn out, and to balance the realities of activist work, which is that often urgent action is needed AND also sustainability is important. On top of that, one of my favourite queer spaces, and which is the OLDEST QUEER BOOKSHOP IN THE WORLD, called GLAD DAY, is facing closure. I've been working as an activist to raise money to help preserve this important queer space. It's one of the only spaces left in Toronto which feels truly like it's for EVERYONE in the LGBTQ2S+ community. Many BIPOC, disabled, trans, and wlw folks spend time there. (Speaking of which, if you feel compelled to check out the work on Glad Day or to contribute to our campaign in any way, check out the website, https://www.gladday.ca/waystohelp).
In any case I can't say I've been that good at balancing everything. I'm also right at the end of finishing a degree and in the thick of completing my thesis. My dad was also diagnosed with cancer recently, and I myself and struggling with health issues. Everything is happening all at once.
I feel passionate about my activist work, but also I feel overwhelmed. I feel like my brain is getting mad at me for not being able to handle it all better. I'm constantly living in fight or flight, looking at images of Pal and genocide and then trying to live my life and get my work done as if things are all good and peachy.
I've been talking with my therapist, and my partner has been very supportive. Anddddd we'll be celebrating one year together on June 10th, and have decided to take a lil vacay, so I have something to look forward to which is super important. I hope that I can be present for the vacay and not be just thinking about all that is going wrong.
In any case, thank you for reading this - I think it turned more into a rant. For all those out there doing activist work, including you Megan, we got this. I'm gonna keep trying to put my health first and not feel guilty about it, and remember that revolution is collective and rest is radical. XOXO and hugs to you all
Jane! All I can say is you are doing SO MUCH and managing SO MUCH both personally and collectively and my god of there's anyone who deserves to be kind to themselves it's you! Thank you for all of the world changing work you're doing, it is incredible and also you are just as incredible and important on the days when you only have the capacity to look after yourself. Some days we can help the world, other days we can only help ourselves, and that's ok 💖 sending the biggest hugs and lots of gratitude 💖💖
Hi Megan, nice to read about your month again. I always enjoy receiving your mails. Thank you for being so open and transparent about your life and mental health. You really create a warm and safe space for us. I want to thank you for that.
May was a tough month for me. I lost my sister very suddenly. So yeah grief and sadness all around. I don’t feel like myself at all, just going through the motions. Thanks again for being here. Love, Lara xxx
Oh Lara, I wish I could give you a hug. You're doing exactly the right thing - going through the motions is more than enough. Keep doing the basics and moving through, that's all there is to do right now. Sending loads of love and wishing you some times in the near future where the pain isn't quite as painful 💖💖
Lara, I am so sorry you lost your sister. I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I am sending you the warmest, most gentle thoughts, and hoping that June brings some small moments of light in the midst of this dark time. Be kind to yourself.
I feel like I watched some of the ups and downs in real time on Instagram, and while I wish you didn’t have to suffer, I ultimately found it so hopeful and helpful to watch the way you dug yourself out of that time and again. I know how much work that takes, and I hope you’re really f*cking proud of yourself for every healing choice you made. I also hope that things get easier and you don’t have to fight so hard.
I read your letter last night before bed, and it must have really had an impact because I had a dream where I met you and was going to travel somewhere with you and your friends, and I was like “I am way too much of a country bumpkin for this” (absolutely true) and also we were supposed to go to an event and all I had was my ratty tennis shoes to go with my nice clothing, and you kept bringing me socks and I was like “Megan, love, I have socks. I need shoes!” 😂
Anywayyyy I had a weird month too. World stuff combined with health stuff had my brain in a very stuck mode for most of the month, but I’ve been working on getting back to the practices I know work for me, taking it slow, and allowing myself to lead from joy instead of obligation and fear. It’s taking time, but things are slowly leveling out.
Thanks again for sharing life with us. So glad to see Queen Gem is feeling better again, and that you and Char continue to grow together and support each other. Wishing you and all your human and animal family a wonderful June!
P.S I had to come back and edit this because I just had to comment on you going as the door to the titanic party. Legend. I died 😂 “famously, only one person can fit” made me cackle too
Omg Sophie I LOVE hearing about people's weird dreams that I am somehow involved in 😅 that definitely sounds like the newsletter snuck into your subconscious - don't worry, if the time comes, we will find shoes!!
I hear you and appreciate your thoughts + feels always! I wish it was easier for both of us, this brain management thing. But you're right, it is about getting back into the practices we know work for us and keeping them up! The wider world is always going to affect us, but I'd still rather be someone who is deeply affected than someone who doesn't care at all, as heartbreaking as it feels sometimes 🌱
Sending love to you and sis! Keep getting outside and saying hi to all the nature, you are enough and you're doing enough and you deserve to be ok 💖
Hi! I'm so, so excited that I can leave a comment here. I have not had social media for about 6 years now, but you are someone I have always kept up with from random check ins and of course MJC-Mail, which I love.
You don't know me, (obviously) but I feel we are very similar in a lot of our journey (is that a cool word to use anymore?) with both eating and mental health. I too get very wrapped up and stuck in the state of the world and the suffering others are going through. I'm glad you're also getting therapy, because I have found that's the best help for me as well. When I am going through a particularly hard brain moment, as you called them, I like to think of others I know that suffer with this anxiety and deep sense of responsibility, like you, and think of how I absolutely believe they deserve to be happy, and if that is true, it must also be true for me. My point being in all of this, is that even though you don't know me, and I don't really know you, I just want you to know that you are in my heart.
P.S. I have your book in my bookcase, and my three-year-old daughter always loves to pull it out and say, "Mama!" and point at you. She says it's because "I" look so happy. That makes me happy to no end.
Chloe, this might be one of the most beautiful heartfelt messages I have ever received. Wow. It definitely sounds like we have had similar journeys (I think that word went from cool to uncool to neutral again!) and it's genuinely really reassuring to know other people's brains also do things the way mine does and yet we're still here, wishing the best for each other. 🥲 So sweet that your daughter does that to the book as well - tell her I (you?) say hi and that she's awesome, just like her mum! 💖💖
Omg Megan what a month but you made it through and what it looks like a lot of highlights and it covers up the mask doesn't it?! I feel like that recently with just being on a high on facebook but deep down It's just a mask for me. I made my photos into part of an exhibition that I met the mayor in the town of where I live now , in Northumberland UK I was really a proud moment all 3 were chosen. I will share a like to copy and paste below or type my photography page name Memorable Moments by Rachael Young you will see updates. It has been my birthday just in the week I am another Gemini so happy birthday to anyone celebrating or non celebration sending birthday hugs. So the exhibition is a proud and best gift to be apart of a wonderful exhibition.
The problems with my family are a rollercoaster and I'm waiting for some tests done for a few new different symptoms to what I'm usually having, but looking at my Facebook you would never guess. So we all feel like It deep down and try cover the struggles up.
Thank you for having this space to share your struggles enabling us to feel comfortable doing the same so huge thank you and hugs from the north to you and anyone else.
You writing here is one proud achievement by sharing. Much love from Northumberland ♥️ xxx
Is that The Oxford Yurt you went to on the hen do? I had my hen there and its incredible! Thanks for sharing your highs and lows. I always look forward to reading these letters x
Right now this brain is full of love and appreciation for all you are… for all WE are… cause praps we’re all doing our absolute best at this crazy experience of humaning? Knowing that you and Queen G have had some luscious days in the sun, makes me as happy as the swifts doing their wild squealing thing overhead ❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡
It’s so wonderful to see the way that you are able (even in hindsight) at what good has taken place for you despite the big sads that you’ve been navigating!! Here’s hoping next month your brain feels more present and happy and less sad💜 As for me, I have had a rollercoaster of a month that has ended, like all good stories, with a happy ending 😁 I am receiving weekly ketamine infusions and they have turned my depression around and left me feeling…balanced and much lighter!! What a success! In addition, I had the trial run for a new spinal cord device to help the chronic pain from my rare kidney disease and it went swimmingly!! The device will now be permanently implanted along my spinal cord with a battery (doesn’t even need to be charged!) implanted in my hip. I use an iPod to control the strength of the signal to my kidneys and my pain level is SIGNIFICANTLY less!!!! This is a game changer for me and I can’t accurately describe the joy, relief, and hope that this brings to me. I now will be able to accept a volunteer position as a confidential sexual violence advocate, which I inquired about after being raped in January. Not to gloss over the assault, but let’s not give it more attention than it needs. In addition to the volunteer spot, I’ve got a job for the fall answering the 988 hotline which is a mental health crisis line here in the USA. I am beyond excited to use one of my talents (talking lol) and work with one of my passions (mental health) to do my favorite thing in earth (help others!!!!). Again, the idea that I would be able to do these things a year ago would have been laughable. I have struggled through incredible physical and mental pain since my diagnosis and having to go on disability and give up my beloved career. But now I am carving out a new niche for myself and it feels like life is just all around more exciting, with possibilities I never thought would be. So that’s my May and I now look forward to an exciting pride month. As an ally I enjoy wearing all of my rainbow gear and my unity shirts and enjoying the conversations that are sparked by my wardrobe! I will have my permanent implant this month and the sky is the limit after that. This is a monumental time for me and I’m trying to stay as present as possible but I can’t help having my mind in the future and all the things I may be able to do now that I won’t be in constant severe pain amen now that my depression is under control with the ketamine treatments. Thank you for always reminding your readers to look for the good in everything as I am happy to dm right now but more importantly, I’m able to do it when things are rough. The good news and bad news is everything is temporary, no? Sending much love to all💜💜💜💜💜
Rachel this comment brought tears to my eyes!! I am so so pleased for you - you deserve this SO much and the fact that the thing you're most excited for is being able to go out and help others speaks VOLUMES about who you are and your character. We need more people like you 💖 I hope you soak up every bit of joy and possibility these new developments bring, I'm so happy for you 💖💖
Thank you Megan!! I will be sure to update you as I have the permanent surgery and beyond!! 🤞🏼🙏🏼💜
I love that you don't brush over the hard parts in your updates. It makes me sad, that you're experiencing them, but it's also helpful to have a somewhat realisitc glimpse into someone's life.
Isn't it crazy how fast the brain can snap into a hurtful mode sometimes? I've been going to therapy for years and years and still in my better moments, I can hardly catch myself when I'm not being nice to myself. It just goes to show, that it's a constant practice, being gentle with oneself.
I am two weeks past breakup and still struggling to fathom the fact. But I try to give myself all the time I need to sit in this discomfort. It's a time full of ambivalences for sure.. I want to get better but I also don't want to be happy without him. Ugh.
Sending you big love in the ambivalence Leno! There are no right or wrongs in this time, feel what you need to feel and do what to you need to do, let it all pass through 💖💖
You deserve to be happy with or without him. Sending you lots of love.
Thanks for the reminder that brains be brainin and to not beat up 🤕 on ourselves for being who we are. Love to the Queen!
So thrilled that you found a happier place in that brain of yours this month... You do seem to have a world full of exceptional friends and how lucky you are for that. Smack dab in the sixth week of my new job. I caught covid which is a rotten thing to have when you have absolutely no sick leave and you are under a deadline. Thankfully my co-workers were helpful and got things finished for me and I've been home resting for 3 days. I haven't had covid since December 2020. It's a s***** now as it was then. So here's to all of us having a better month of June... I wish you and everyone who reads your newsletter a month full of peace and joy and health... Mostly health!
Sending you warm healing vibes Jill! Hopefully you're out of the worst of it now and being easy on yourself as you recover 🤗💖
I hope you feel much better soon! Wishing you a month full of peace and health too ❤️
Megan, with all the ups and downs that you experienced in the past month, I love that you were able to pull yourself out of it and still enjoy some beautiful moments. Whenever you are in the deep sads, it may help to know how much you have made a difference in the lives of people who follow you.
𝘼 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙔𝙊𝙐: (thank you!)
💗Be kind to your body and yourself
💗Appreciate the joy in simple pleasures
💗Celebrate your victories, (no matter how small!)
💗Keep. Moving. Forward. One minute or hour or day at a time
💗It’s okay to have bad or overwhelming days, every setback is an opportunity for growth
💗Healing is not linear
💗Ask for help when you need it
As for me, I had a few really cool things happen in May. An IG influencer I follow bought a few of my platters/plates on Etsy and shared them to her stories. I had a huge boost in sales and followers! It happened organically, so that was even better! I met a chef who is interested in some of my designs for his restaurant at the beach. That would be my 3rd restaurant if it works out! And last, but not least, I had an IG reel that went viral (56.4k views) and brought even more traffic to my account. Growing my little Etsy business, planting seeds one at a time. Grateful 💗
Hoping your June brings more joy and less challenge. 🌞
Woohoo! That is great news Michele, and so cool about the restaurants! Well done for celebrating the wins and following your creative heart, as always 💖 thank you for the very generous reminders as well 🤗 when I'm in the deep sads I definitely struggle to hold onto anything good I might have done for other people or the world, everything just feels not enough and the brain is very good at erasing evidence to the contrary! Thank you for always being here with kindness and support - actually i was thinking I hadn't seen you for a couple of months and was hoping you were okay! Glad you are and I hope the buzz continues 😘 remind us of your Instagram handle? 💖
Thanks, Megan!
My profile is magicmoonpottery
That is SO wonderful that your work is catching the eye of people who can help grow your business. That’s beautiful to hear! Wishing you continued success <3
Thank you, Sophie! I'm pretty excited.
Love reading about your ups and downs. I’ve been on the body image roller coaster this month as well as navigating some bullying issues my son is having at school ☹️ so it’s been a weird month for me too. But also celebrated my son’s 9th birthday and took a trip to the seaside and the forest so it’s been adventurous, but odd… anyway, I appreciate you keeping it real. X
Happy belated birthday to the little one! Sounds like a lovely adventure was had 🤗 it sucks that the body image demons tried to crawl in and steal your mind away - but very understandable in the world we live in and all the ways it's constantly telling us we aren't enough. Is it just me or are beauty standards really tightening their grip lately?? Anyway, I know you can move through the thoughts which gentle curiosity and grace towards your body. You are more than enough as you are 💖
This sounds tough. I hope that your body image gets easier and that the bullying issues stop soon, do you have someone to help with it? You are strong and can do this 💪 ❤️
Hey Megan!
Sorry it's been a few letters since I commented, but I have been reading along as always and truly look forward to updates. 🙏
It sounds like a lovely month indeed ✨ I can totally relate to good times getting overshadowed by bad brain moments, but what's important is to stay present, especially in those positive experiences (easier said than done, mindfulness practices do help though.)
Speaking of, today is one of those for me! My birthday ☺️
I'm taking a much needed week off of work to staycation, rejuvenate, and spend time getting outside and into nature. I started my birthday vacation with a spa day with my best girl friends (google Glen Ivy if you're curious, it's basically a hot spring adult theme park style spa wonderland). Then yesterday I went to support a friend at her queer choir fundraiser concert. And today I'm going to walk around Huntington Gardens, which I've never been to and always wanted to see.
I'm grateful to be in this place now, but it's been a challenging few months. Between really challenging work stuff, relationship hurdles, and health concerns, it's sometimes easy to give into hopelessness. But these are all moments that inform our growth and without the tougher moments we'd have no comparison to be able to appreciate the good ones.
Sending 🩷💜🩵
Samantha
I love this update Samantha! And this sounds like a perfect staycation week - self care, friends and nature, just perfect 💖🌱 happy belated birthday and well bloody done on making it another trip round the sun 😘 I hope you feel super restored after this week and ready to take on the challenging stuff, you've got this 💪🏽💖
When you've been typing for an hour & the page refreshes and your every single typed word has gawwwnnnn 😅
Anyways... It's lovely to see The Queen of Giggles is back 👑(Hi Gem)
Loved your video 💜
Loved you surprised Char with a turn up at Pride.
Love that you share the good, the bad and the ugly with us... Always keeping it real 💯
Hi Megan! 💜 Hope you're feeling lighter and brighter. That's my wish for you 💜
Your trips made me realise I'm not living life & I need to fix that 😁
My month of May was made with one of my daughters surprised me with a visit from London to Liverpool & quality time was had.
Thanks MJC! Love your mail ✉️
Looking forward to June 💜
Noooo not the page refresh! 😅 Thank you re-typing!! Thank you so much for these lovely well wishes and all the purple heart kindness! 💜 Love that your daughter surprised you, maybe you could surprise her back and then that's a trip in itself! Sending love and hugs 💜💜
Hehe 🙃 Love and hugs received with thanks 💜 and shared right back with all the MJC mail crew ☮️💜
Thank you Megan for another fabulous, uplifting, and very real newsletter. It was so lovely to see all of the amazing moments that you've had, and also powerful to hear you share about how sometimes the brain be brainin in spite of what's happening externally. Thank you also to others in these comments for sharing what they've learn from Megan and what they're working through. This collective space is so beautiful.
Unfortunately, the struggle has been REAL on my end. I am a central organizer with my University's Free Pal encampment, and it's been heavy. As a crip queer (someone with disability, and who is a member of the queer community) I've really had to work to avoid burn out, and to balance the realities of activist work, which is that often urgent action is needed AND also sustainability is important. On top of that, one of my favourite queer spaces, and which is the OLDEST QUEER BOOKSHOP IN THE WORLD, called GLAD DAY, is facing closure. I've been working as an activist to raise money to help preserve this important queer space. It's one of the only spaces left in Toronto which feels truly like it's for EVERYONE in the LGBTQ2S+ community. Many BIPOC, disabled, trans, and wlw folks spend time there. (Speaking of which, if you feel compelled to check out the work on Glad Day or to contribute to our campaign in any way, check out the website, https://www.gladday.ca/waystohelp).
In any case I can't say I've been that good at balancing everything. I'm also right at the end of finishing a degree and in the thick of completing my thesis. My dad was also diagnosed with cancer recently, and I myself and struggling with health issues. Everything is happening all at once.
I feel passionate about my activist work, but also I feel overwhelmed. I feel like my brain is getting mad at me for not being able to handle it all better. I'm constantly living in fight or flight, looking at images of Pal and genocide and then trying to live my life and get my work done as if things are all good and peachy.
I've been talking with my therapist, and my partner has been very supportive. Anddddd we'll be celebrating one year together on June 10th, and have decided to take a lil vacay, so I have something to look forward to which is super important. I hope that I can be present for the vacay and not be just thinking about all that is going wrong.
In any case, thank you for reading this - I think it turned more into a rant. For all those out there doing activist work, including you Megan, we got this. I'm gonna keep trying to put my health first and not feel guilty about it, and remember that revolution is collective and rest is radical. XOXO and hugs to you all
Jane! All I can say is you are doing SO MUCH and managing SO MUCH both personally and collectively and my god of there's anyone who deserves to be kind to themselves it's you! Thank you for all of the world changing work you're doing, it is incredible and also you are just as incredible and important on the days when you only have the capacity to look after yourself. Some days we can help the world, other days we can only help ourselves, and that's ok 💖 sending the biggest hugs and lots of gratitude 💖💖
Hi Megan, nice to read about your month again. I always enjoy receiving your mails. Thank you for being so open and transparent about your life and mental health. You really create a warm and safe space for us. I want to thank you for that.
May was a tough month for me. I lost my sister very suddenly. So yeah grief and sadness all around. I don’t feel like myself at all, just going through the motions. Thanks again for being here. Love, Lara xxx
Oh Lara, I wish I could give you a hug. You're doing exactly the right thing - going through the motions is more than enough. Keep doing the basics and moving through, that's all there is to do right now. Sending loads of love and wishing you some times in the near future where the pain isn't quite as painful 💖💖
Lara, I am so sorry you lost your sister. I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I am sending you the warmest, most gentle thoughts, and hoping that June brings some small moments of light in the midst of this dark time. Be kind to yourself.
I feel like I watched some of the ups and downs in real time on Instagram, and while I wish you didn’t have to suffer, I ultimately found it so hopeful and helpful to watch the way you dug yourself out of that time and again. I know how much work that takes, and I hope you’re really f*cking proud of yourself for every healing choice you made. I also hope that things get easier and you don’t have to fight so hard.
I read your letter last night before bed, and it must have really had an impact because I had a dream where I met you and was going to travel somewhere with you and your friends, and I was like “I am way too much of a country bumpkin for this” (absolutely true) and also we were supposed to go to an event and all I had was my ratty tennis shoes to go with my nice clothing, and you kept bringing me socks and I was like “Megan, love, I have socks. I need shoes!” 😂
Anywayyyy I had a weird month too. World stuff combined with health stuff had my brain in a very stuck mode for most of the month, but I’ve been working on getting back to the practices I know work for me, taking it slow, and allowing myself to lead from joy instead of obligation and fear. It’s taking time, but things are slowly leveling out.
Thanks again for sharing life with us. So glad to see Queen Gem is feeling better again, and that you and Char continue to grow together and support each other. Wishing you and all your human and animal family a wonderful June!
P.S I had to come back and edit this because I just had to comment on you going as the door to the titanic party. Legend. I died 😂 “famously, only one person can fit” made me cackle too
Omg Sophie I LOVE hearing about people's weird dreams that I am somehow involved in 😅 that definitely sounds like the newsletter snuck into your subconscious - don't worry, if the time comes, we will find shoes!!
I hear you and appreciate your thoughts + feels always! I wish it was easier for both of us, this brain management thing. But you're right, it is about getting back into the practices we know work for us and keeping them up! The wider world is always going to affect us, but I'd still rather be someone who is deeply affected than someone who doesn't care at all, as heartbreaking as it feels sometimes 🌱
Sending love to you and sis! Keep getting outside and saying hi to all the nature, you are enough and you're doing enough and you deserve to be ok 💖
That is the best fancy dress outfit I’ve seen in ages! 😍
Thanks Helen! 💖
Hi! I'm so, so excited that I can leave a comment here. I have not had social media for about 6 years now, but you are someone I have always kept up with from random check ins and of course MJC-Mail, which I love.
You don't know me, (obviously) but I feel we are very similar in a lot of our journey (is that a cool word to use anymore?) with both eating and mental health. I too get very wrapped up and stuck in the state of the world and the suffering others are going through. I'm glad you're also getting therapy, because I have found that's the best help for me as well. When I am going through a particularly hard brain moment, as you called them, I like to think of others I know that suffer with this anxiety and deep sense of responsibility, like you, and think of how I absolutely believe they deserve to be happy, and if that is true, it must also be true for me. My point being in all of this, is that even though you don't know me, and I don't really know you, I just want you to know that you are in my heart.
P.S. I have your book in my bookcase, and my three-year-old daughter always loves to pull it out and say, "Mama!" and point at you. She says it's because "I" look so happy. That makes me happy to no end.
Chloe, this might be one of the most beautiful heartfelt messages I have ever received. Wow. It definitely sounds like we have had similar journeys (I think that word went from cool to uncool to neutral again!) and it's genuinely really reassuring to know other people's brains also do things the way mine does and yet we're still here, wishing the best for each other. 🥲 So sweet that your daughter does that to the book as well - tell her I (you?) say hi and that she's awesome, just like her mum! 💖💖
Omg Megan what a month but you made it through and what it looks like a lot of highlights and it covers up the mask doesn't it?! I feel like that recently with just being on a high on facebook but deep down It's just a mask for me. I made my photos into part of an exhibition that I met the mayor in the town of where I live now , in Northumberland UK I was really a proud moment all 3 were chosen. I will share a like to copy and paste below or type my photography page name Memorable Moments by Rachael Young you will see updates. It has been my birthday just in the week I am another Gemini so happy birthday to anyone celebrating or non celebration sending birthday hugs. So the exhibition is a proud and best gift to be apart of a wonderful exhibition.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/27fvxrPqjR7pzA1m/
The problems with my family are a rollercoaster and I'm waiting for some tests done for a few new different symptoms to what I'm usually having, but looking at my Facebook you would never guess. So we all feel like It deep down and try cover the struggles up.
Thank you for having this space to share your struggles enabling us to feel comfortable doing the same so huge thank you and hugs from the north to you and anyone else.
You writing here is one proud achievement by sharing. Much love from Northumberland ♥️ xxx
Is that The Oxford Yurt you went to on the hen do? I had my hen there and its incredible! Thanks for sharing your highs and lows. I always look forward to reading these letters x
“Brains be brainin“ DON’T THEY JUST??
Right now this brain is full of love and appreciation for all you are… for all WE are… cause praps we’re all doing our absolute best at this crazy experience of humaning? Knowing that you and Queen G have had some luscious days in the sun, makes me as happy as the swifts doing their wild squealing thing overhead ❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡
I love you xxxxxxx