Over the years, whenever I've created myself on The Sims (which I don't do too often, since I play The Sims to take a break from being myself), Sim Megan has been very consistent. I always carefully create her appearance, modify her features, spend too long choosing her outfits, throw together her personality traits, and then look through the options for what her aspiration should be. Sometimes I play around with the idea of making her a musical genius or friend of all animals on the planet - but instruments are hard and so is being a vegan. Ultimately, I always come back to romance. My aspiration is always about love.
My therapist recently reflected that I’ve used my eating disorder, school, life achievements etc to quantify my worth. As a way to know exactly where I stood to ease my anxiety and soothe the pit in my chest that is afraid to admit I don’t know. A number on the scale, or a grade, or a check off the list of life goals has been a crutch for dealing with the messiness of life. I think everything you said about relationships is so similar. Using strict guidelines to comfort ourselves that we’ve got this whole life thing figured out can often backfire when it ultimately doesn’t feel satisfying. I’m thankful that we’re at least all on this journey together:)
My therapist recently reflected that I’ve used my eating disorder, school, life achievements etc to quantify my worth. As a way to know exactly where I stood to ease my anxiety and soothe the pit in my chest that is afraid to admit I don’t know. A number on the scale, or a grade, or a check off the list of life goals has been a crutch for dealing with the messiness of life. I think everything you said about relationships is so similar. Using strict guidelines to comfort ourselves that we’ve got this whole life thing figured out can often backfire when it ultimately doesn’t feel satisfying. I’m thankful that we’re at least all on this journey together:)