Happy belated birthday to Gemma! I'm in my first relationship with a woman and I completely agree with you about the male gaze. I feel like I don't have to perform anymore and I don't need to be looking any certain way. I can just authentically be me and I love it! 🥰
Happy belated birthday to Gemma & hell yeah for double Lizzo🎊🙌🏼🙌🏼💐💐
(My birthday is on Wednesday & I'm celebrating for the first time since COVID started. Hoping to have as much fun as you & Gemma did😊)
I'm so glad you're feeling better and in a healthier place. That is absolutely beautiful. I finally passed probation on my new job which was very exciting (makes the cross country move & scary life choices seem worth it).
I am almost 8 months into a new relationship & he's caught me trying to be my "best" self constantly & has said more than once I'm not here for your "best" self, I'm just here for you.
It's really hard habit to break but I'm grateful to have the space to try.
Thank you for the update and I hope you have a wonderful April 💐💞
Woohoo! So much good news Chelsea - congrats on getting past work probation and the new partner sounds like a good'un 🥰 what are the birthday plans? I hope you get a whole week of celebration! 💜
Owhhh Alex what a beautiful update. Love this for you 💜 Hopefully next month there will be an update on your roots and lots more time outside to share 😍
Belated happy birthday to Queen Gemma!! 💜💜 So thrilling to witness all the good vibes your March held; to more of that as we’re rolling into spring!
My March was heavily work-focused, mixed in with lengthy breaks from everything to get my energy back. I’m feverishly preparing for a new month that will be focused on *me* instead. Have yourself a ravishing April, Megan ✨🤗
Thank you Tanya! I'm feeling hopefully about keeping the joy rolling in as the sunshine starts to show herself! I think we all deserve more. Yes to a month of *you* things, I co-sign that intention 💜
I love listening to your one minute reminders, you have such a soothing voice, Megan 💕
I started a new job mid-February after a long time out due to illness. So March was very much about getting back into the workflow. Sometimes I worry about coming across as (physically) „weak“ because my health is not 100 % back yet. But I try to focus on how much I have improved the last few months. I am much more in tune with my needs and keeping boundaries than I was a year ago. I‘ve grown so much through this tough last year!
This is brilliant Laura, big congrats to you for getting back into flow and doing the work of understanding your needs and setting boundaries! We all have limits, the world would be a much healthier place if we respected them 💜
I've been there with the balloon arch... my nieces 21st birthday last summer and it was an experience putting it together 😂 but it is quite impressive & rewarding on the other side!
I really feel so much of what you've written this month, especially about how messy & uncomfortable it can feel with conflicts in allowing ourselves the space to be human as someone with a strong sense of their values. I really struggle with this, but trying to let it be okay to not always be trying so hard to be "perfect" with it all because I am SO aware these days that perfect doesn't exist and it doesn't help anyone to be tied up in knots & feeling stuck doing nothing for fear of getting it "wrong" 💖
All of this Helen! I feel like social media especially has cultivated a real pressure of moral perfectionism which as you said, doesn't exist and just isn't a place where humans can be human. You're allowed to find your middle ground where you feel like you're living enough in your values but not so much that every day feels impossible and scary. We're all doing our best 💜
Love to see Gemma being treated like the queen she is!
I really need to know where you buy clothes from, everytime I see an outfit from you I want it 😍 also if it’s depop or vinted pleeeeeeease let me know what search terms you use because I NEVER find the good stuff!
It's always depop or vinted Lisa 🤣 my secondhand app shopping tips:
1. If you've got a while to scroll, search wide. Open up the whole 'dresses' category and just filter by colour and size. Or even just type in 'pink' and filter by size. You have to scroll past a lot of no's but you'll hit gold every now and then.
2. Search brands you know and love - my top searches are still brands I used to buy new: ASOS, Nike, River Island, Never Fully Dressed, Lucy & Yak. I already know how their sizes fit so less guesswork.
3. Ask for measurements/pictures of it being worn and get to know how different styles sit on your body
Let me know next month if you find anything killer! 💜
Goodness me, my darling friend, this email is as rich as my favourite fruit cake, in so many ways it’s balm for my soul… from the lime green suit (power flower) to the reminder to play (please one day could we roller skate together???)
I celebrate your delicious generosity in sharing your life and your thoughts with us xxxxx
Love you! My god I so wish I could do rollerskating... I tried a few months back with Char, thinking I could shake off the childhood fear and become a 70s rollerskating icon in my flared jumpsuit and metallic skates... I think I got round the rink maybe 3 times, legs trembling, clinging desperately to the side, sweating. It was not my finest hour 🤣
Love the idea of doing fun things... it always takes me back to things I used to love to do as a child. I'm recently playing, singing and dancing a lot with my friend's 18 months old son and it's bringing so much joy to my life 😍 I hope things keep going as well as in March, sounds like you had a wonderful month . All the best ❤
WOW! You’ve had quite the month, Megan! Tremendous energy and lots of good vibes to share with all of us! So happy to read all about it. And belated birthday wishes to Queen Purple Gemma :)
I completely agree with your therapist’s advice to have fun with creativity. You’re obviously already doing that with fashion, decorating, parties and your talent events. My recommendation is- Don’t get out of that habit. Nothing wrong with being a big kid! I worked in a career for over 20 years that I enjoyed for the most part, and had some outlet for creativity. But after leaving it 14 years ago and starting my own pottery business, I get to be creative and mindful EVERY. DAY. I wouldn’t change it for anything. 😊
Almost forgot.... BIG congrats on the TV Festival awards hosting gig! You will be amazing! Wishing you all the best!
Oh wow Michele - I love learning extra things about your life and your journey, you always have so much wisdom and kindness to share, hearing about your journey is like another puzzle piece fitting into place. Do you share your pottery online anywhere? I actually find it really soothing to know that people choose to get up every day and make beautiful things and that's their life - obviously with ups and downs as well, but choosing to lean towards creativity and mindfulness and beauty. How perfect 💜
I actually made you and Gemma custom ornaments and sent them a few years ago. It was during the pandemic, so not sure if you received them with all of the closures and delays.
What a lovely month it sounds like you had! My happiest of birthday wishes to Lady Gemma!! I have been navigating some good things this month (new meds are really helping) and some not so good things (my verbally abusive ex tried to contact me on yet another social platform). But I’m proud to say that instead of firing off a response negating all of his garbage talk, I simply allowed him to see the “seen” or “ read” feature and ignored him. Truly it feels better to have sent him the message that I don’t even care enough to respond versus letting him know how angry he’s made me. And behaving as though it didn’t bother me went a LONG WAY towards feeling like it didn’t bother me. It was a win! Also, I’ve finally begun to read BODY POSITIVITY!!! Took me a minute to get myself a copy of your book but as I struggle so much with being overweight, I hope it will help me cope with being in a body that is not only disabled but is also considered fat. An old friend posted on social media about her weight loss journey (she does one of those programs that uses shakes and constant workouts and goes to conferences with the group where they all work out together, etc. Good for her that it seems to work for her, but she does not have a disability and in her post she said that having been a size 22 was “traumatic.” I have mixed feelings about this (as you were talking about in your message). I know it’s difficult to live in a body that isn’t the societal ideal, but on the other hand, I’m a size 18 and I don’t think there’s anything TRAUMATIC about it. Perhaps I reserve that word for what I consider true trauma (childhood molestation, having my fiancé shoot him self in the head, you know, TRAUMA). But then I realized how I was judging her for how she felt about something and if that’s her trauma, then that’s her trauma. It’s none of my business to compare my trauma to her trauma, I just want to remember to be present for her in her journey, whatever it involves. So good for her for overcoming her trauma and good for me for not thinking my number of pounds constitutes a trauma. There is space for both. Sending 💜💜💜!
Definitely a mixed bag of a month but I feel like the overriding thing here is you've been pro-actively leaning into healing - whether that's in how you consciously responded (or didn't) to your ex, or opening yourself up to some body acceptance or course correcting your thoughts to be more compassionate and nuanced. All MAJOR works of self-awareness and growth! Get it! I feel proud of you and I hope this month shows the fruits of that labour 🤗💜
I feel like your 1 minute reminder was written just for me! I'm also very all or nothing and cannot rest when I feel so conflicted, but you're SO right. It is not sustainable at all. Gender fluidity is a tough one for me... On days when I'm feeling feminine I'm frustrated with my short hair and baggy jeans and on days when I'm feeling masculine I want to shave my head entirely and throw away the small amount of makeup that I own. I'm trying hard to embrace that ebb and flow. It's hard when we've been trained to choose the side that our culture has assigned to us.
I hear this Leah! It's a real challenge to embrace the grey area, the fluidity, reject the binary choices. But I think those are the places where we're gonna find the most freedom and self-compassion :) 💜
Wonderfully written. I remember your stage of feeling you needed to fight for every cause and how burned out you became. I was the same then too, feeling I needed to post and share and scream about everything or people would think I was a bad ally or didn’t care enough about a cause. But honestly, there are just so many problems in the world, how can we fight them all and survive mentally. So, you are really an inspiration in how to be conscientious, but also maintain some happiness in life. So, thank you for that. Looks like you’ve had a fantastic month and I am very happy for you. You deserve all the good things. 🥰
Thank you SO much Raffy - this is something I'm always working on within myself and as you know the guilt and pressure to be doing more does creep up on me sometimes. But I'm starting to believe that I do deserve to be here, in my life, making joyful memories and finding some peace even with all the noise and chaos that is constantly happening outside. And the better I feel about life in general, the more I have to give back. So let's keep trying to let go of the pressure and let ourselves me human, I think it's the only way we survive 💜
It’s really weird as it seems to be a recurring theme for me this week, or lately… just… be here now. Try not to worry about how others perceive you when you know it is what you believe that makes you who you are, you know? The real ones will know your heart and intentions are good and the others are just looking for a reason to be mad at the world. I just read this and she is also going through a similar mindset. I think it’s hard to exist in this world as a kind person.
It was lovely to hear about your month Megan, it sounds like you are doing some awesome and empowering things in your work recently! Totally relate about the mixed feelings about fashion, and that it's ok for us to hold contradictions <3
Happy belated birthday to Gemma! I'm in my first relationship with a woman and I completely agree with you about the male gaze. I feel like I don't have to perform anymore and I don't need to be looking any certain way. I can just authentically be me and I love it! 🥰
So happy for you Rebecca! I hope you continue getting to blossom into that feeling 🥰 love to you both!
Happy belated birthday to Gemma & hell yeah for double Lizzo🎊🙌🏼🙌🏼💐💐
(My birthday is on Wednesday & I'm celebrating for the first time since COVID started. Hoping to have as much fun as you & Gemma did😊)
I'm so glad you're feeling better and in a healthier place. That is absolutely beautiful. I finally passed probation on my new job which was very exciting (makes the cross country move & scary life choices seem worth it).
I am almost 8 months into a new relationship & he's caught me trying to be my "best" self constantly & has said more than once I'm not here for your "best" self, I'm just here for you.
It's really hard habit to break but I'm grateful to have the space to try.
Thank you for the update and I hope you have a wonderful April 💐💞
Woohoo! So much good news Chelsea - congrats on getting past work probation and the new partner sounds like a good'un 🥰 what are the birthday plans? I hope you get a whole week of celebration! 💜
Love this beam of sunshine coming through my inbox today 💖💖💖
Spring is here! And receiving the light and warmth with joy.
Starting to try and put down roots, hold my boundaries and have been lucky enough to spend a lot of my time outside in the rain!
This week for the first time in a long time I looked in the mirror and felt beautiful.
Love 🧡🧡🧡
Owhhh Alex what a beautiful update. Love this for you 💜 Hopefully next month there will be an update on your roots and lots more time outside to share 😍
Belated happy birthday to Queen Gemma!! 💜💜 So thrilling to witness all the good vibes your March held; to more of that as we’re rolling into spring!
My March was heavily work-focused, mixed in with lengthy breaks from everything to get my energy back. I’m feverishly preparing for a new month that will be focused on *me* instead. Have yourself a ravishing April, Megan ✨🤗
Thank you Tanya! I'm feeling hopefully about keeping the joy rolling in as the sunshine starts to show herself! I think we all deserve more. Yes to a month of *you* things, I co-sign that intention 💜
I love listening to your one minute reminders, you have such a soothing voice, Megan 💕
I started a new job mid-February after a long time out due to illness. So March was very much about getting back into the workflow. Sometimes I worry about coming across as (physically) „weak“ because my health is not 100 % back yet. But I try to focus on how much I have improved the last few months. I am much more in tune with my needs and keeping boundaries than I was a year ago. I‘ve grown so much through this tough last year!
This is brilliant Laura, big congrats to you for getting back into flow and doing the work of understanding your needs and setting boundaries! We all have limits, the world would be a much healthier place if we respected them 💜
What a super power to be in touch with your needs, well done you 👏👏👏👏
Thank you, Dinah ❤️
I've been there with the balloon arch... my nieces 21st birthday last summer and it was an experience putting it together 😂 but it is quite impressive & rewarding on the other side!
I really feel so much of what you've written this month, especially about how messy & uncomfortable it can feel with conflicts in allowing ourselves the space to be human as someone with a strong sense of their values. I really struggle with this, but trying to let it be okay to not always be trying so hard to be "perfect" with it all because I am SO aware these days that perfect doesn't exist and it doesn't help anyone to be tied up in knots & feeling stuck doing nothing for fear of getting it "wrong" 💖
All of this Helen! I feel like social media especially has cultivated a real pressure of moral perfectionism which as you said, doesn't exist and just isn't a place where humans can be human. You're allowed to find your middle ground where you feel like you're living enough in your values but not so much that every day feels impossible and scary. We're all doing our best 💜
Love to see Gemma being treated like the queen she is!
I really need to know where you buy clothes from, everytime I see an outfit from you I want it 😍 also if it’s depop or vinted pleeeeeeease let me know what search terms you use because I NEVER find the good stuff!
It's always depop or vinted Lisa 🤣 my secondhand app shopping tips:
1. If you've got a while to scroll, search wide. Open up the whole 'dresses' category and just filter by colour and size. Or even just type in 'pink' and filter by size. You have to scroll past a lot of no's but you'll hit gold every now and then.
2. Search brands you know and love - my top searches are still brands I used to buy new: ASOS, Nike, River Island, Never Fully Dressed, Lucy & Yak. I already know how their sizes fit so less guesswork.
3. Ask for measurements/pictures of it being worn and get to know how different styles sit on your body
Let me know next month if you find anything killer! 💜
Thank you for taking the time to respond! I’ll try these 😍
I love it!!
Happy Belated Gemma!
my mom and I drove 3 hours to see Lizzo in Charlotte, NC last year for the first part of the Special tour and it was MAGICKAL!
What a road trip! And beautiful memory to have with mom 🥰
Goodness me, my darling friend, this email is as rich as my favourite fruit cake, in so many ways it’s balm for my soul… from the lime green suit (power flower) to the reminder to play (please one day could we roller skate together???)
I celebrate your delicious generosity in sharing your life and your thoughts with us xxxxx
Love you! My god I so wish I could do rollerskating... I tried a few months back with Char, thinking I could shake off the childhood fear and become a 70s rollerskating icon in my flared jumpsuit and metallic skates... I think I got round the rink maybe 3 times, legs trembling, clinging desperately to the side, sweating. It was not my finest hour 🤣
Love the idea of doing fun things... it always takes me back to things I used to love to do as a child. I'm recently playing, singing and dancing a lot with my friend's 18 months old son and it's bringing so much joy to my life 😍 I hope things keep going as well as in March, sounds like you had a wonderful month . All the best ❤
Awh yes the joy of this kind of play is so precious. Wishing more of that for you this month! 💜
WOW! You’ve had quite the month, Megan! Tremendous energy and lots of good vibes to share with all of us! So happy to read all about it. And belated birthday wishes to Queen Purple Gemma :)
I completely agree with your therapist’s advice to have fun with creativity. You’re obviously already doing that with fashion, decorating, parties and your talent events. My recommendation is- Don’t get out of that habit. Nothing wrong with being a big kid! I worked in a career for over 20 years that I enjoyed for the most part, and had some outlet for creativity. But after leaving it 14 years ago and starting my own pottery business, I get to be creative and mindful EVERY. DAY. I wouldn’t change it for anything. 😊
Almost forgot.... BIG congrats on the TV Festival awards hosting gig! You will be amazing! Wishing you all the best!
Oh wow Michele - I love learning extra things about your life and your journey, you always have so much wisdom and kindness to share, hearing about your journey is like another puzzle piece fitting into place. Do you share your pottery online anywhere? I actually find it really soothing to know that people choose to get up every day and make beautiful things and that's their life - obviously with ups and downs as well, but choosing to lean towards creativity and mindfulness and beauty. How perfect 💜
Thanks for your kind words :)
Yes. I sell on Etsy (Magic Moon Pottery)
I actually made you and Gemma custom ornaments and sent them a few years ago. It was during the pandemic, so not sure if you received them with all of the closures and delays.
What a lovely month it sounds like you had! My happiest of birthday wishes to Lady Gemma!! I have been navigating some good things this month (new meds are really helping) and some not so good things (my verbally abusive ex tried to contact me on yet another social platform). But I’m proud to say that instead of firing off a response negating all of his garbage talk, I simply allowed him to see the “seen” or “ read” feature and ignored him. Truly it feels better to have sent him the message that I don’t even care enough to respond versus letting him know how angry he’s made me. And behaving as though it didn’t bother me went a LONG WAY towards feeling like it didn’t bother me. It was a win! Also, I’ve finally begun to read BODY POSITIVITY!!! Took me a minute to get myself a copy of your book but as I struggle so much with being overweight, I hope it will help me cope with being in a body that is not only disabled but is also considered fat. An old friend posted on social media about her weight loss journey (she does one of those programs that uses shakes and constant workouts and goes to conferences with the group where they all work out together, etc. Good for her that it seems to work for her, but she does not have a disability and in her post she said that having been a size 22 was “traumatic.” I have mixed feelings about this (as you were talking about in your message). I know it’s difficult to live in a body that isn’t the societal ideal, but on the other hand, I’m a size 18 and I don’t think there’s anything TRAUMATIC about it. Perhaps I reserve that word for what I consider true trauma (childhood molestation, having my fiancé shoot him self in the head, you know, TRAUMA). But then I realized how I was judging her for how she felt about something and if that’s her trauma, then that’s her trauma. It’s none of my business to compare my trauma to her trauma, I just want to remember to be present for her in her journey, whatever it involves. So good for her for overcoming her trauma and good for me for not thinking my number of pounds constitutes a trauma. There is space for both. Sending 💜💜💜!
Definitely a mixed bag of a month but I feel like the overriding thing here is you've been pro-actively leaning into healing - whether that's in how you consciously responded (or didn't) to your ex, or opening yourself up to some body acceptance or course correcting your thoughts to be more compassionate and nuanced. All MAJOR works of self-awareness and growth! Get it! I feel proud of you and I hope this month shows the fruits of that labour 🤗💜
I feel like your 1 minute reminder was written just for me! I'm also very all or nothing and cannot rest when I feel so conflicted, but you're SO right. It is not sustainable at all. Gender fluidity is a tough one for me... On days when I'm feeling feminine I'm frustrated with my short hair and baggy jeans and on days when I'm feeling masculine I want to shave my head entirely and throw away the small amount of makeup that I own. I'm trying hard to embrace that ebb and flow. It's hard when we've been trained to choose the side that our culture has assigned to us.
I hear this Leah! It's a real challenge to embrace the grey area, the fluidity, reject the binary choices. But I think those are the places where we're gonna find the most freedom and self-compassion :) 💜
Wonderfully written. I remember your stage of feeling you needed to fight for every cause and how burned out you became. I was the same then too, feeling I needed to post and share and scream about everything or people would think I was a bad ally or didn’t care enough about a cause. But honestly, there are just so many problems in the world, how can we fight them all and survive mentally. So, you are really an inspiration in how to be conscientious, but also maintain some happiness in life. So, thank you for that. Looks like you’ve had a fantastic month and I am very happy for you. You deserve all the good things. 🥰
Thank you SO much Raffy - this is something I'm always working on within myself and as you know the guilt and pressure to be doing more does creep up on me sometimes. But I'm starting to believe that I do deserve to be here, in my life, making joyful memories and finding some peace even with all the noise and chaos that is constantly happening outside. And the better I feel about life in general, the more I have to give back. So let's keep trying to let go of the pressure and let ourselves me human, I think it's the only way we survive 💜
It’s really weird as it seems to be a recurring theme for me this week, or lately… just… be here now. Try not to worry about how others perceive you when you know it is what you believe that makes you who you are, you know? The real ones will know your heart and intentions are good and the others are just looking for a reason to be mad at the world. I just read this and she is also going through a similar mindset. I think it’s hard to exist in this world as a kind person.
https://open.substack.com/pub/mariandrew/p/update-on-my-2023-theme?r=oekxt&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
It was lovely to hear about your month Megan, it sounds like you are doing some awesome and empowering things in your work recently! Totally relate about the mixed feelings about fashion, and that it's ok for us to hold contradictions <3
Thanks Gemma! Appreciate you being here and showing solidarity too 🤗